Discussion Groups / English Usage / March 2007

Well, that makes me quite sure I was right! God help the child of an
anal overcontrolling rules enthusiast. (I was one).

What's "sloppy speech habit"-ish about it?  You have claimed that it
is, but that is merely your opinion about the matter.  The practice
may not, in fact, be a "sloppy speech habit" at all.  Thinking it is
doesn't make it so.  The fact that it occurs universally in human
language (non-fluency features of this sort, not just specifically
"Well") must indicate something about it, something that should make
you pause, reserve prejudiced condemnation for a second or two, and
think to yourself "Maybe it's serving some actual function that I am
unaware of."

And, yes, it does seem to be serving some function other than that
which is contained only in the words you speak.  Language is not
just a code or a mathematical equation that needs to be solved; it's
a social action, a set of behaviours between people.

"Well" can act as a pause for the person to collect their thoughts and
have time to think.  This might not seem like a lot of time to think,
but in the perspective of how much time you normally have to process
and produce a spoken sentence, it's almost an eternity.

A social use of "well" (and "like") is as a politeness strategy, a way
of distancing one thing from another (subject from predicate; the
purpose for saying the sentence [often referred to as the "illoctionary
act/foce" of the sentence] from the person saying it; etc).  Why do you
think, in English, the first sentence below is considered polite and
the second one rude?
1. Excuse me, would you be so kind as to close the window?
2. Shut the window.
It's because it employs, among other things, the "distancing"
politeness strategy.  The request comes at the end of a long sequence
of words, thus softening it and as a result making it sound more polite.
The same sometimes applies for those "sloppy speech habits" you mention.

Just today, I found myself using such a strategy to soften something
I had to say and reading this thread now made me realize what I had
done.
I was on the telephone to someone who was asking me to do something
(the details don't matter).  It was something that I was unable to do
right then and the person making the request was someone I respected.
To bluntly say "No, I can't do that" would have been rude, unfriendly,
unsociable.  What I did say was "Well, no, because that's... like...
impossible right now."  It softened the refusal.  It wasn't a "sloppy
speech habit" at all; it was a distancing measure to add an extra
*social* dimension to what I had said on top of the actual words,
syntax, and semantics of what I had said.

There is more to language than just words.  Pinned to a piece of paper,
sure, the words might seem to be all that exists, but in reality --
in actual communication between living people -- language is more like
a well-coordinated dance with many steps, patterns, and rhythms that
keep it all together.  Break step and watch the way that you will rub
people the wrong way.

[...]

There's no such thing as a four-year-old with a sloppy speech habit.
That's why it could seem like bullying -- I wouldn't dream of making
that accusation without knowing more about the family, but I'd certainly
go easy on the child. These parents are doing the right thing in
correcting their own speech, if their habits really are so bad (which
they probably _aren't_): the child will imitate them and those around.
And that includes the "Bzzt!" too, which is food for thought.

Meaningless fillers drive me wild too.  Many years ago (30?), I
watched a daytime interview show with four actors as guests, two from
the United States and two originally from Canada.  I noticed that the
two U.S. actors kept interrupting themselves with "uh" while they
ransacked their brains for the next word.  Neither of the Canadians
did that; if the next word needed a moment to come to the tongue, they
just stopped making noise for that moment.  It reminded me of the
story my uncle told me, when I was very small, about the Toastmasters
Club cullecting a nickel every time a member said, "Uh."

Cece

Meaningless fillers drive me wild too.  Many years ago (30?), I
watched a daytime interview show with four actors as guests, two from
the United States and two originally from Canada.  I noticed that the
two U.S. actors kept interrupting themselves with "uh" while they
ransacked their brains for the next word.  Neither of the Canadians
did that; if the next word needed a moment to come to the tongue, they
just stopped making noise for that moment.  It reminded me of the
story my uncle told me, when I was very small, about the Toastmasters
Club cullecting a nickel every time a member said, "Uh."

Cece

(snipped)

Our family enjoyed a significant pleasure of meeting Mel Tillis during
a small private party at the home of nearby friends.

During this party, Mel constantly joked about his stutter, and his stutter
is very noticeable during speech. He told joke after joke about people
who stutter and his own stuttering. When he sings, as expected, flawless.

Mel displays a healthy attitude. He deals with what life dealt him
in a positive and upbeat manner. He is a true inspiration.

As you know, I frequently poke fun at my having a big butt and my
butt is big. Part of my self-confidence and self-pride is derived
from Mel Tillis. Mel is as brave as Stephen Hawking and Mel does
contribute as much to all of us, as Hawking.

http://nefsky.com/tillis.htm

Purl Gurl

Go ahead. Piss me off just enough.

If he was sixteen I might agree with you. Ten years younger than that
and you lose my sympathy entirely.