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Discussion Groups / English Usage / July 2007What is the Difference between a Snob and a Gentleman?
A female friend of mine told me that she wanted to date men who are gentlemen. The word I think refers to someone whose behavior shows others he is a member of nobility. Someone who acts like a gentleman therefore, would be a snob, right? >A female friend of mine told me that she wanted to date men who are >gentlemen. The word I think refers to someone whose behavior shows >others he is a member of nobility. Someone who acts like a gentleman >therefore, would be a snob, right? We're quite willing, in this group, to discuss the meaning and usage of words. Sometimes the true meaning of the word is not how the word is actually used. However, before you ask for help in understanding the meaning and usage of words, you should at least first look at the dictionary definitions. If that doesn't answer your question, then ask for further clarification. Look up the words "snob" and "gentleman" in the dictionary. Do you see anything in the two definitions that link the two words?  SignatureTony Cooper Orlando, FL Tony's right, but I wrote this before reading Tony's post. >A female friend of mine told me that she wanted to date men who are >gentlemen. The word I think refers to someone whose behavior shows >others he is a member of nobility. No. In America, and I think everywhere now, anyone can be a gentleman. It's based on behaviour. > Someone who acts like a gentleman >therefore, would be a snob, right? No. In fact, not only does G not imply S. G implies not S. A gentleman doesn't behave like a snob. (And btw, why would a member of nobility have to be a snob? I don't konw any, but do you?) A gentleman is someone who behaves properly when he is with one or more other people. (He probably behaves properly the rest of the time too, but I'm not there (unless it's me)). He's polite to everyone. He's not rude, so he can't very well behave like a snob. If he's able to be a snob without it showing, that might not violate the definition, but I'll bet it's very rare in practice He doesn't gossip (which is rude.) None of this means he's prissy like the Crane brothers, or that he speaks with some strange accent. But if he has an accent, that's ok too. It also doesn't mean that he treats the taxi driver the same as his buddy. He is not expected to and he only has to treat him as well as a polite person treats a taxi driver. (In my year as a taxi driver, I think only one person was rude to me, plus the three who didn't pay, but other than not paying, they weren't rude.) Oh yeah, a gentleman pays his bills. He doesn't impose on someone else's hospitality. But all of this is encompassed in behaving properly, and not being rude. If you are inclined to email me for some reason, remove NOPSAM :-) [...] > A gentleman is [...] not rude [...] The definition I heard is: "A gentleman is never rude unintentionally". SignatureLes >[...] > >> A gentleman is [...] not rude [...] > >The definition I heard is: "A gentleman is never rude unintentionally". That's cute, but it's at best an exaggeration. It refers, I expect, to those infrequent cases where someone is entitled to be rude, maybe a) because it's a medical emergency and there is no time for politeness (If one knows some emergency medicine and someone else collapses, you may push people away to get to the sick person. You don't have say excuse me and wait for them to move.) or b) when someone has been rude to the gentleman in the first place. Miss Manners doesn't call her recommended replies to rudeness as rude, but I think many would be if they weren't in reply to rudeness. People ask questions that are too personal, or make improper negative observations, and while often she urges ignoring the statements and other by-no-means rude replies, other times she'll suggest a cut, a spicy reply. Since I'm no good at these, I can't think of an example. If you are inclined to email me for some reason, remove NOPSAM :-) > Tony's right, but I wrote this before reading Tony's post. <snip> > > Someone who acts like a gentleman > >therefore, would be a snob, right? [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > more other people. (He probably behaves properly the rest of the time > too, but I'm not there (unless it's me)). My grandfather used to say that a gentleman is someone who uses a butter-knife when dining alone. Which is to say, I think, that it doesn't matter whether or not anyone's there to approve: a true gentleman behaves correctly out of habit. OTOH a snob is very sensitive to the audience he's trying to impress, while resenting those who do so naturally and without effort. SignatureOdysseus >A female friend of mine told me that she wanted to date men >who are [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > gentleman > therefore, would be a snob, right? The word snob derives from the English boarding schools. When a newcomer attended the school and had no title (i.e. was not from the nobility), they wrote s.nob. = sine nobilitatis - without nobility. So the word s.nob. ended up with the word 'snob' - meaning a person who is trying to pretend to belong to the top drawer of the society, but who in reality is not belonging there. A gentleman is a person who knows how to behave -especially in contacts with the ladies. A snob might have a gentleman's attitude, but it is not in his "breed" according to the notion of a well-breeded gentleman from the upper class. A gentleman is a way of knowing how to behave in certain circumstances - a snob is just a person who is trying to pretend that he is a part of a higher class in the society than he is entitled to. A snob is also considered a person who associates with a certain class in the society, preferably with people who are rich and influential just to keep up appearances cp. the series: Keeping Up Appearances http://kuacentral.com/ Arne H. Wilstrup Denmark [ ... ] > The word snob derives from the English boarding schools. When > a newcomer attended the school and had no title (i.e. was not [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > to the top drawer of the society, but who in reality is not > belonging there. Another false etymology -- with aspects of acronymy, no less. M-W reports "etymology unknown," but elsewhere you'll find things like this: 1781, "a shoemaker, a shoemaker's apprentice," of unknown origin. It came to be used in Cambridge University slang c.1796 for "townsman, local merchant," and by 1831 it was being used for "person of the ordinary or lower classes." Meaning "person who vulgarly apes his social superiors" arose 1843, popularized 1848 by William Thackeray's "Book of Snobs." <http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=snob> Too bad. The false etymology produces a much tidier response to the OP. > A female friend of mine told me that she wanted to date men who are > gentlemen. The word I think refers to someone whose behavior shows > others he is a member of nobility. Someone who acts like a gentleman > therefore, would be a snob, right? A gentleman is a genteel man. Or someone who reads this British magazine: http://www.thechap.net/ ~Iain >> A female friend of mine told me that she wanted to date men who are >> gentlemen. The word I think refers to someone whose behavior shows [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >Or someone who reads this British magazine: >http://www.thechap.net/ Good Grief! [1] I attempt to behave in a courteous, gentlemanly, manner but would not wish to be classified with those "Chaps". [1] Who is this deity Grief anyway? Perhaps he or she can be identified with one of the Hindu pantheon. SignaturePeter Duncanson, UK (in alt.english.usage) >Good Grief! [1] > >I attempt to behave in a courteous, gentlemanly, manner but would >not wish to be classified with those "Chaps". > >[1] Who is this deity Grief anyway? Perhaps he or she can be A lot of people go out of their way NOT to use a deity or the title or one in their exclamatory expressions. I don't know what the origin is of Good Grief or if this is an example of that, but it might be. Other people make an effort to create a new term similar to what they don't want to say. And still other people call these new terms euphemisms because they think that refers to any word substituted for another. When in fact it only refers to words substituted for words that cause unpleasant fellings, not to good words are avoided in order to not make them commonplace. "One Day at a Time", the sitcom set in Indianapolis that starred Valerie Bertinelli as the daughter, was the first tv series in which anyone said "Oh, my God" or anything like that. Either it hadn't been permitted some time earlier, or script writers and editors had better taste. Even though some people said the phrase freely in those days, the 70's I think, many people of a variety of religions would not do so. Now television has far worse than that. >identified with one of the Hindu pantheon. If you are inclined to email me for some reason, remove NOPSAM :-) |
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