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Discussion Groups / English Usage / January 2004my son
Have you noticed that soon after a couple separates, both or at least one of them starts referring to what had been called "our children" as "my children"? They used to be "our children", "our son", "our daughter" even when the other parent was not present. I can sense some reason, undescribable, that my is better than our. But I can't help thinking, especially when spoken by the custodial parent, that it exacerbates tensions between the two parents, that it's an unintentional or intentional way to stick it to the other party. Comments, especially from non-custodial parents, especiallly those who wanted custody (almost always men.) s/ meirman If you are emailing me please say if you are posting the same response. Born west of Pittsburgh Pa. 10 years Indianapolis, 7 years Chicago, 6 years Brooklyn NY 12 years Baltimore 20 years > Have you noticed that soon after a couple separates, both or at least > one of them starts referring to what had been called "our children" as > "my children"? They used to be "our children", "our son", "our > daughter" even when the other parent was not present. I've noticed non-separated parents refer to 'my son / dtr'. In fact, I find it rare for parents to refer to 'our X' *except* when the other parent is present. Ditto, siblings tend to speak of 'My Mum / Dad' rather than 'our'. -- John Dean Oxford De-frag to reply >> Have you noticed that soon after a couple separates, both or at least >> one of them starts referring to what had been called "our children" [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > other parent is present. > Ditto, siblings tend to speak of 'My Mum / Dad' rather than 'our'. And the opposite. "Look what *your* son did to my settee", spoken by the mother. m. In alt.english.usage on Wed, 21 Jan 2004 16:24:25 -0000 "mUs1Ka" <mUs1Ka@exite.com> posted: >>> Have you noticed that soon after a couple separates, both or at least >>> one of them starts referring to what had been called "our children" [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] >And the opposite. "Look what *your* son did to my settee", spoken by the >mother. Do parents reallly say that? >m. s/ meirman If you are emailing me please say if you are posting the same response. Born west of Pittsburgh Pa. 10 years Indianapolis, 7 years Chicago, 6 years Brooklyn NY 12 years Baltimore 20 years > In alt.english.usage on Wed, 21 Jan 2004 16:24:25 -0000 "mUs1Ka" > <mUs1Ka@exite.com> posted: [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Do parents reallly say that? Some. Do you need a refresher course in Philip Larkin? http://www.spicyquotes.com/html/Philip_Larkin_Parents.html -- John Dean Oxford De-frag to reply meirman spake thus: > In alt.english.usage on Wed, 21 Jan 2004 16:24:25 -0000 "mUs1Ka" > <mUs1Ka@exite.com> posted: [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Do parents reallly say that? Some do. We don't.  SignatureDavid ===== In alt.english.usage on Wed, 21 Jan 2004 13:09:13 -0000 "John Dean" <john-dean@frag.lineone.net> posted: >> Have you noticed that soon after a couple separates, both or at least >> one of them starts referring to what had been called "our children" as [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >it rare for parents to refer to 'our X' *except* when the other parent is >present. I'll have to pay more attention. This would solve my problem. >Ditto, siblings tend to speak of 'My Mum / Dad' rather than 'our'. That's true. Thanks s/ meirman If you are emailing me please say if you are posting the same response. Born west of Pittsburgh Pa. 10 years Indianapolis, 7 years Chicago, 6 years Brooklyn NY 12 years Baltimore 20 years |
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