problems with sentences

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Bärbel Jezuita - 27 Jan 2004 09:57 GMT

Hi everybody!
I would be glad if you could help me with these sentences.
Is the following sentence correct?
They have printed a personal account because the kids who read this magazine
may get the facts of bullying more clearly when they get a concrete example
of this.

Is it "to change schools" or "to change the school" ?

Do I have to put "alone" at the end of this sentece?
Maybe she just could talk alone with the bullies.

Thanks in advance for your help.
Bärbel

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Gary Vellenzer - 27 Jan 2004 10:56 GMT

> Hi everybody!
> I would be glad if you could help me with these sentences.
> Is the following sentence correct?
> They have printed a personal account because the kids who read this magazine
> may get the facts of bullying more clearly when they get a concrete example
> of this.

This is a very confusing sentence. "Because" is the wrong conjunction;
you need "so that". "May get" is unidiomatic here; "get" works. "More
clearly" is in the wrong place. I don't like this clause, so I've re-
written it totally. "When they get" doesn't work here; replace it with
"by reading about". "This" isn't idiomatic in this place; replace it
with "it". So:

They have printed a personal account so that the kids who read this
magazine get a clearer understanding of the facts of bullying by reading
about a concrete example of it.

> Is it "to change schools" or "to change the school" ?

In the US, "to change schools" means he transferred from one school to
another. Dunno about the UK.

> Do I have to put "alone" at the end of this sentece?
> Maybe she just could talk alone with the bullies.

You mean "one-on-one", not "alone". You can put it either where you have
it or at the end--it doesn't matter. You probably mean "should", not
"could".

Gary

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Discussion Groups / English Usage / January 2004

problems with sentences