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Is it an excellent piece of writing?

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Jonathan - 26 Jul 2009 17:54 GMT
Hi,

Below is the first half of an opening address given by a Chinese
scholar in English to a group of American visiting scholars at a
symposium held in China around 1980. There has been heated debate in
some Chinese forums about whether this address demonstrates the
author's brilliant command of English or just the opposite. The
biggest controversy has been about the first sentence, which many
think was poorly constructed.

I'd love to hear from you any opinions or comments on it. Thank you
very much.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ladies and Gentlemen:

  Allow me t extend, on behalf of the Chinese academy of social
Sciences, a warm welcome to you to the symposium of American and
Chinese comparatists.

  This conference, sponsored b the Institute of Foreign Literature and
the Institute of Literature in my Academy in conjunction with the
American Committee on Scholarly Communications with the People’s
Republic of China, is the first ever of its kind held here.

  Although there always has to be a first time, yet considering the
significance of the present occasion for future SinoAmierican
dialogues on our discipline, we may perhaps flatter ourselves that we
are not only establishing a record, but also, in a modest and
unspectacular way, making history.

  If we take T.S. Eliot’s remark for what it’s worth, the literary
relationship between the United States and China should be
particularly close. He, so to speak, issued to Ezra Pound a patent of
“the inventor of Chinese poetry of our time”. Once Chinese literature
was “invented”, American scholars with characteristic acumen and
energy have been conscientiously and steadily discovering it. A
similar state of affairs obtains here. early Chinese translators and
writers, in their fashion, “invented” European and American
literature, and our professional students have since set about
industriously discovering it. To all appearances, discovery is a task
for more onerous and arduous. It betrays, I am afraid, Chinese
backwoodsmanship to talk as if there were a hard and fast distinction
between invention and discovery. Now that the Saussurian dictum,
“c’est le point de vue qui cree l’ objet”, has been widely embraced in
the West as an open invitation to invent and intuit in reading and
interpreting literary texts, the distinction between the two has
presumably become one without much difference.
contrex - 26 Jul 2009 18:19 GMT
It looks fine to me. If I could write (and deliver!) a speech of
comparable fluency in any language other than my native tongue, let
alone any flavour of Chinese, I would be very proud of myself. He
quotes Ferdinand de Saussure in French as well, for extra brainy
points.

As for the first sentence, it looks OK, although maybe I would have
omitted "to you".

> There has been heated debate in
> some Chinese forums about whether this address demonstrates the
> author's brilliant command of English or just the opposite. The
> biggest controversy has been about the first sentence, which many
> think was poorly constructed.

Perhaps you could describe the points of contention?
翻译即反逆 - 26 Jul 2009 18:33 GMT
> It looks fine to me. If I could write (and deliver!) a speech of
> comparable fluency in any language other than my native tongue, let
[quoted text clipped - 12 lines]
>
> Perhaps you could describe the points of contention?

Well, the point of contention was that the part "to you to the
symposium of ..."  sounds very awkward with the first "to" followed
immediately by the other "to".

BTW, does it just look fine to you or it's a brilliant piece of
writing? Is it written in idiomatic English as if by any scholarly
native speaker?
Peter Duncanson (BrE) - 26 Jul 2009 19:11 GMT
On Sun, 26 Jul 2009 10:33:28 -0700 (PDT), ?????????? <kevinn@21cn.net>
wrote:

>> It looks fine to me. If I could write (and deliver!) a speech of
>> comparable fluency in any language other than my native tongue, let
[quoted text clipped - 16 lines]
>symposium of ..."  sounds very awkward with the first "to" followed
>immediately by the other "to".

Whether or not it would sound awkward would depend on how it was spoken.
A slight pause after "to you" would reduce or remove any awkwardness.

It would be possible to reword it as:

   Allow me to extend to you, on behalf of the Chinese academy of
   social Sciences, a warm welcome to the symposium of American and
   Chinese comparatists.

>BTW, does it just look fine to you or it's a brilliant piece of
>writing? Is it written in idiomatic English as if by any scholarly
>native speaker?

It is written in idiomatic English. Many scholarly native speakers would
produce writing of a much lower standard.

It is describing something that is outside my field of expertise, but I
can understand it. That means that it is well-written.

Signature

Peter Duncanson, UK
(in alt.english.usage)

Athel Cornish-Bowden - 27 Jul 2009 07:42 GMT
> On Sun, 26 Jul 2009 10:33:28 -0700 (PDT), ?????????? <kevinn@21cn.net>
> wrote:
[quoted text clipped - 38 lines]
> It is describing something that is outside my field of expertise, but I
> can understand it. That means that it is well-written.

It's worth noting that although it was almost certainly written down
before the speech was delivered, and was certainly written down for
publication afterwards, it is still not what I'd call a "piece of
writing", and I don't think that words designed to be spoken out loud
can be judged by the same standards as words designed to be read. As
Peter says, appropriate pauses and stress could probably overcome the
unfortunate problems produced by the repetition of "to".

Signature

athel

翻译即反逆 - 27 Jul 2009 15:22 GMT
On Jul 27, 2:42 pm, Athel Cornish-Bowden <acorn...@ibsm.cnrs-mrs.fr>
wrote:

> > On Sun, 26 Jul 2009 10:33:28 -0700 (PDT), ?????????? <kev...@21cn.net>
> > wrote:
[quoted text clipped - 49 lines]
> --
> athel

Can I take your point further by saying that such arrangement could be
slightly better than reworded as "allow me to extend to you, on
behalf ..." when delivering a speech? My guess is that you don't want
the word "welcome" to be too apart from the word "you" in spoken
English. Does it make sense to you?
翻译即反逆 - 27 Jul 2009 17:29 GMT
On Jul 27, 2:42 pm, Athel Cornish-Bowden <acorn...@ibsm.cnrs-mrs.fr>
wrote:

> > On Sun, 26 Jul 2009 10:33:28 -0700 (PDT), ?????????? <kev...@21cn.net>
> > wrote:
[quoted text clipped - 49 lines]
> --
> athel

To take your point further, can I say that such arrangement of words
is even better than reworded as "allow me to extend to you, on behalf
of ..." in a speech?  Because one may want to say "a warm welcome to
you" uninterruptedly when addressing a group of guests. Does this
point make sense to you?
翻译即反逆 - 30 Jul 2009 15:44 GMT
> On Jul 27, 2:42 pm, Athel Cornish-Bowden <acorn...@ibsm.cnrs-mrs.fr>
> wrote:
[quoted text clipped - 58 lines]
> you" uninterruptedly when addressing a group of guests. Does this
> point make sense to you?

Any more comments?
翻译即反逆 - 31 Jul 2009 08:29 GMT
> On Jul 27, 2:42 pm, Athel Cornish-Bowden <acorn...@ibsm.cnrs-mrs.fr>
> wrote:
[quoted text clipped - 58 lines]
> you" uninterruptedly when addressing a group of guests. Does this
> point make sense to you?

Any more comments?
GFH - 26 Jul 2009 20:55 GMT
> Hi,
>
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
> I'd love to hear from you any opinions or comments on it. Thank you
> very much.

What?!?  There is more?  I liked the opening.

"I'd love to hear from you any opinions or comments on it. Thank you
very much."

A bit better: I'd love to hear your opinions or comments.  Thank you
very much.

GFH
 
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