please help to punctuate a sentence

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kw - 01 Nov 2006 00:06 GMT

Please help to check if the commas in the sentence below are
placed appropriately, or suggest a better way to write it.

A, B, and C are the number of objects in, the total mass of,
and the total error of cluster k, respectively.

My concern is whether I need to insert a comma right before
'cluster k'.

Thank you all very much,
-Kevin

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Eric Walker - 01 Nov 2006 01:55 GMT

> Please help to check if the commas in the sentence below are
> placed appropriately, or suggest a better way to write it.
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> My concern is whether I need to insert a comma right before
> 'cluster k'.

Short answer: No.

Longer answer: the sentence is technically correct, but more than a
little awkward. There are many different possible ways of improving
it, all based on the idea of making things as clear and simple for the
reader as can be. Brevity is a virtue, but only when not carried to
excess.

"For cluster k, A is the number of objects in it, B is the total mass,
and C the total error."

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kw - 01 Nov 2006 03:11 GMT

> > Please help to check if the commas in the sentence below are
> > placed appropriately, or suggest a better way to write it.
[quoted text clipped - 15 lines]
> "For cluster k, A is the number of objects in it, B is the total mass,
> and C the total error."

The sentence is right after a few equations. A, B, and C are symbols
used in those equations. They all have a subscript k. (Sorry for my
inaccurate question.) Thus, it is actually a clause:

"where A_k, B_k, and C_k are the number of objects in, the total mass of,
and the total error of cluster k, respectively."

It seems not fluent to me if it is

"where for cluster k, A_k is the number of objects in it, B_k is the total
mass,
and C_k the total error."

Any suggestion is appreciated.

Thank you,
-Kevin

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Eric Walker - 01 Nov 2006 05:22 GMT

[...]

> The sentence is right after a few equations. A, B, and C are symbols
> used in those equations. They all have a subscript k. (Sorry for my
> inaccurate question.) Thus, it is actually a clause:
>
> "where A_k, B_k, and C_k are the number of objects in, the total mass of,
> and the total error of cluster k, respectively."

Gotcha. Perhaps:

". . . where Ak is the number of objects in the cluster, Bk is the
total mass, and Ck the total error."

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John Holmes - 05 Nov 2006 04:10 GMT

> [...]
>
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
> ". . . where Ak is the number of objects in the cluster, Bk is the
> total mass, and Ck the total error."

It might be clearer still to simply list the symbol definitions one
under the other, rather than try to make a sentence out of them. That
is, presuming that the equations are set as they should be on separate
lines and probably indented.

That way it is easier to find the variable you are looking for, rather
than if it is buried somewhere in the middle of a line of text.

--
Regards
John
for mail: my initials plus a u e
at tpg dot com dot au

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Discussion Groups / English Usage / November 2006

please help to punctuate a sentence