Discussion Groups / English Usage / November 2006

"I assumed it was simply literal translation; people would laugh in my
face if I were ever to use it in a conversation."

The former - because of the subjunctive nature of the final clause.
Better still, 'if ever I had used'

"of two minds"

"I assumed that it was merely a literal translation and that anyone
*would laugh* in my face were *I ever to use* it in a conversation."

"Larry" asks about:

This is like those indirect statements about facts that can use the
present or the past tense:

* "Dmitri told me the Aral Sea was the world's fourth-largest lake"
It was true then, and that's what's relevant; I'm saying nothing about
the facts now.

* "Dmitri told me the Aral Sea is the world's fourth-largest lake"
Either he told me so recently it cannot have changed, or this is the
sort of fact that doesn't change; anyway, I'm assuming it hasn't.
(In this case wrongly.  Look up "Aral Sea".)

Similarly, both versions of Larry's statement are grammatical.  The
first one talks about what the speaker thought then about how people
would react then; the second one assumes that people's reactions to
the usage are the sort of thing that wouldn't change, or that there
hasn't been time for them to change.  I prefer the first version, but
it's basically a matter of style and emphasis.

The using and the laughing are not facts but suppositions, and thus
call for the subjunctive mood.  The two sentences correctly reflect
that, but present two different temporal understandings of the
statement.

In the first, the speaker is referring to a now-ended period (we know
it's ended from the forms "would have laughed"and "had used"), the
period during which he might have used the phrase; thus, to be in
correct form, it would have to open in the past perfect tense, as "I
had assumed . . . ."  Presumably he no longer assumes those things.

In the second, the period during which the speaker might use the phrase
is open-ended, extending right to the present, making the statement a
sort of general truth.  "If I [ever] used it" is a past-form
subjunctive that--as is often the case with past-tense forms in the
subjunctive mood--actually points to the temporal present or future:
compare "Things would grow better if it ever rained around here,"
another general (non-temporal) truth.

(I think the sentences would sound more idiomatic were "anyone"
replaced with "everyone".)