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Discussion Groups / English Usage / November 2006Using Jokes to improve your english
Unleash The Real Joker in You ... Score big at your next gathering, cocktail or sales appointment with politically-correct jokes. http://poke-a-joke.blogspot.com/ > Unleash The Real Joker in You ... > > Score big at your next gathering, > cocktail or sales appointment with politically-correct jokes. Score big in your next punctuation test by removing the hyphen from between "politically" and "correct." And do you think you could explain to me how one scores big at a cocktail?  SignatureBob Lieblich Who has been known to score a big cocktail (but that's not the same thing) > > Unleash The Real Joker in You ... > > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > And do you think you could explain to me how one scores big at a > cocktail? Nah, it's a 'cocktail appointment'. Barely a day goes by without one of those, here in Broadbottom. DC > > > Unleash The Real Joker in You ... > > > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Nah, it's a 'cocktail appointment'. Seriously? I've never encountered "cocktail" as short for "cocktail appointment"[1] on either side of the Pond, or here in AUE for that matter. > Barely a day goes by without one of those, here in Broadbottom. I can see I've wasted my life. [1] I'd take "cocktail appointment" as short for "meeting someone for cocktails," not "cocktail party." Am I even farther off base than I think I am? SignatureBob Lieblich Sip, sip, sip >>>>Unleash The Real Joker in You ... >>>> [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > cocktails," not "cocktail party." Am I even farther off base than I > think I am? I think that Mr Cat was pointing out that it is possible to read "cocktail or sales appointment" as "cocktail appointment" or "sales appointment". The "nah" suggests a hint of laconic irony, since "cocktail appointment" is just as much rubbish as the rest of the original sentence. and that is reinforced by his final comment about Broadbottom. Even the most sophisticated Leftpondians sometimes miss our subtle nuances... SignatureLaura (emulate St. George for email) [ ... ] > I think that Mr Cat Didn't we determine that it was Ms. Cat? Or am I simply compounding error as I go along? > was pointing out that it is possible to read > "cocktail or sales appointment" as "cocktail appointment" or "sales > appointment". The "nah" suggests a hint of laconic irony, since > "cocktail appointment" is just as much rubbish as the rest of the > original sentence. and that is reinforced by his final comment about > Broadbottom. Lieblichs don't do broad bottoms. > Even the most sophisticated Leftpondians sometimes miss our subtle > nuances... I twigged pretty rapidly and posted a follow-up, but you beat me to the punch by a minute. SignatureBob Lieblich Of the mediocre reflexes > [ ... ] > >>I think that Mr Cat > > Didn't we determine that it was Ms. Cat? Or am I simply compounding > error as I go along? I think there's a photo of him on the website which is fairly conclusive although I believe that his first name is one of those ambivalent ones. >> was pointing out that it is possible to read >>"cocktail or sales appointment" as "cocktail appointment" or "sales [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > I twigged pretty rapidly and posted a follow-up, but you beat me to > the punch by a minute. Yes, I take almost all of my criticism back. Next time we're in the same city, let's have a cocktail appointment. Bellinis are my favourite. SignatureLaura (emulate St. George for email) > > [ ... ] > > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > conclusive although I believe that his first name is one of those > ambivalent ones. It's Viv, and that's sufficiently ambivalent that after three months corresponding with someone on the net who I was convinced was aware of my gender, I got asked if I was concerned about getting my bum pinched during a then forthcoming trip to Italy... after that I decided to use a nom de clef online... No, I am in fact a card carrying geezer, married to Sue. The late lamented Django was, in fact, a female cat, but we've never let a simple thing like gendered names bother us in this household. I've not put a piccy on the AUE website, (maybe I should), but there's one at http://www.bankgatetutors.co.uk/vmidlane.jpg . I also keep a personal trivia blog at http://cutupletters.blogspot.com/ DC >I've not put a piccy on the AUE website (maybe I should) You may not have submitted a picture for the Gallery, but you feature in a couple of pics of an Edinburgh boink. SignatureKaty Jennison spamtrap: remove the first two letters after the @ > > I've not put a piccy on the AUE website (maybe I should) > > You may not have submitted a picture for the Gallery, but you feature > in a couple of pics of an Edinburgh boink. Indeedy - very pleasant event it was too. DC >>>[ ... ] >>> [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > one at http://www.bankgatetutors.co.uk/vmidlane.jpg . I also keep a > personal trivia blog at http://cutupletters.blogspot.com/ http://alt-usage-english.org/boink_aug04/edinburgh.html That's you, isn't it? SignatureLaura (emulate St. George for email) [...] > > I've not put a piccy on the AUE website, (maybe I should), but there's > > one at http://www.bankgatetutors.co.uk/vmidlane.jpg . I also keep a [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > That's you, isn't it? Looks like him to me. But I noticed that somebody was alleged to have drunk bitter. Shome mishtake, shurley? In Scotland it's "heavy", no? SignatureMike. >[...] >> > I've not put a piccy on the AUE website, (maybe I should), but there's [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] >Looks like him to me. But I noticed that somebody was alleged to have >drunk bitter. Shome mishtake, shurley? In Scotland it's "heavy", no? Interesting one. Assuming you're right, I suspect the beer-drinker was David, in which case he almost certainly asked for "bitter" at the bar, and was probably not corrected by the bar staff (it was Festival time, after all) but was given a glass of what appeared to him to be what he'd asked for. So it's a matter of terminology: is it automatically "heavy" because it was drunk in Scotland, even if it's being drunk by an Englishman who has been led to suppose it's bitter and reported on by an Enlishwoman who ditto? (And if it is, should David have been able to claim he hadn't been sold what he'd asked for?) If I were in France, for the sake of argument, and spoke no French, and asked for mussels, and was brought what the waiter would have called moules, and went home and reported that I'd had mussels, would you say "No, you didn't, you had moules"? SignatureKaty Jennison spamtrap: remove the first two letters after the @ > >[...] > >> > I've not put a piccy on the AUE website, (maybe I should), but there's [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > called moules, and went home and reported that I'd had mussels, would > you say "No, you didn't, you had moules"? Hmm. I discount the French analogy as too far-faught; but as between Scottish and English terminology, I don't know for sure. I nose a trace of English cultural imperialism, though. I'd use the local term: I bet you wouldn't call Scotch whisky "Scotch" in Scotland (I don't think I often use the term at all, myself). But I'm aware that it might seem precious if I were to start insisting to an English hearer on "carry-outs" instead of "takeaways" just because we were in Scotland at the time. When it comes to bridies and pasties. . . SignatureMike. > Hmm. I discount the French analogy as too far-faught; but as between > Scottish and English terminology, I don't know for sure. I nose a trace [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > "carry-outs" instead of "takeaways" just because we were in Scotland at > the time. Or if I were to insist on "cairry-out" instead of "takeout" just because we were in Chicago (TLCIA) rather than New York (LCIA). SignatureBuckwheat Soba >http://alt-usage-english.org/boink_aug04/edinburgh.html > >That's you, isn't it? Maybe that's Django, but who's the other guy? http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f244/cooper213/brothers.jpg That's me on the left, or is it the right? SignatureTony Cooper Orlando, FL > > http://alt-usage-english.org/boink_aug04/edinburgh.html > > > > That's you, isn't it? > > Maybe that's Django, but who's the other guy? That's Chris Malcolm. That day we discussed the fact that Edinburgh & S****** Universities both have Maxwell Buildings, but while the Edinburgh one is named after James Clark Maxwell, S******'s is named after Robert... DC >>>http://alt-usage-english.org/boink_aug04/edinburgh.html >>> [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > Edinburgh one is named after James Clark Maxwell, S******'s is named > after Robert... Oxford Polytechnic very nearly took on the Maxwell name at one point. In the event, we just took over his home. SignatureLaura (emulate St. George for email) >>http://alt-usage-english.org/boink_aug04/edinburgh.html >> [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > That's me on the left, or is it the right? Thus demonstrating that all male aue posters eventually converge... SignatureLaura (emulate St. George for email) >> [ ... ] >> [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >I think there's a photo of him on the website which is fairly conclusive >although I believe that his first name is one of those ambivalent ones. Having spent a pleasant early evening in a pub with Django and OldBloke I'd like to add that I'm fairly convinced he's a Mr. SignatureLinz Wet Yorks via Cambridge, York, London and Watford My accent may vary [ ... ] > >> Didn't we determine that it was Ms. Cat? Or am I simply compounding > >> error as I go along? [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Having spent a pleasant early evening in a pub with Django and > OldBloke I'd like to add that I'm fairly convinced he's a Mr. If anyone can tell, it's Linz. My apologies to Mr. Cat. SignatureMr. Lieblich >[ ... ] > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > >If anyone can tell, it's Linz. My apologies to Mr. Cat. Disappointingly, no one has ever called upon me to verify that you are male despite it being known here that we have personally met. Although any verification I might supply would be based on visual clues determined across a table, I think I could be convincing. SignatureTony Cooper Orlando, FL > [ ... ] > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > If anyone can tell, it's Linz. My apologies to Mr. Cat. No probs, Bob, happens all the time. DC > > [ ... ] > > [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > No probs, Bob, happens all the time. > DC I always thought it was "Vivian" for spade, "Vivien" or "Vivienne" for distaff. The Ox book says the French "Vivienne" was probably from a misreading of Celtic "Ninian" -- which, since it is a masculine name, must have been pretty radical as misreadings go. SignatureMike. > > > [ ... ] > > > [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > I always thought it was "Vivian" for spade, " Just so, Vivian is how my parents spelt it. DC > > > > Unleash The Real Joker in You ... > > > > [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > cocktails," not "cocktail party." Am I even farther off base than I > think I am? And then the dime (inflation, inflation) dropped, and I realized that DC was joining "cocktail" to the word "appointment" separated from it by "or sales." Just another failure of parallelism. What a disappointment! Still, it's another lesson in how to create ambiguity through careless word order. Shades of that old favorite "Wall Street lawyers wear three-piece suits [this was a while back], silk ties and smoke pipes." How do you wear a smoke pipe? SignatureBob Lieblich Out of order >Shades of that old favorite "Wall Street lawyers wear three-piece >suits [this was a while back], silk ties and smoke pipes." How do you >wear a smoke pipe? A sight worth watching from this week's Oxford Times: "City council will partly run around 100 vehicles on cooking fats". SignatureKaty Jennison spamtrap: remove the first two letters after the @ > >Shades of that old favorite "Wall Street lawyers wear three-piece > >suits [this was a while back], silk ties and smoke pipes." How do you > >wear a smoke pipe? > > A sight worth watching from this week's Oxford Times: "City council > will partly run around 100 vehicles on cooking fats". Any idea how far around they made it? I must say I am disappointed thought. I am sure our new council could do the complete circle. John Kane, Kingston ON Canada > > > Shades of that old favorite "Wall Street lawyers wear three-piece > > > suits [this was a while back], silk ties and smoke pipes." How [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Any idea how far around they made it? Are we sure that part of the Council isn't going to do the entire circuit? In fact there was a radio programme about the guy who set up the firm that does this. He's made a fortune of out recycling waste oil from deep fat fryers in Chip Shops and selling it as motor fuel. DC > > > > > Unleash The Real Joker in You ... > > > > > [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > suits [this was a while back], silk ties and smoke pipes." How do you > wear a smoke pipe? How do you silk a tie? DC >> > > Unleash The Real Joker in You ... >> > > [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] >cocktails," not "cocktail party." Am I even farther off base than I >think I am? The sentence includes "gathering", and that would imply a cocktail party. I don't think one considers an invitation or an intent to go to a cocktail party as an "appointment", though. "Appointment" implies a specific time to appear, and one only appears at a cocktail party at a specific time if it's suspected that the host is chintzy and sets out only a few bacon-wrapped water chestnuts and the latecomers get Cheeze Whiz on Triscuits. SignatureTony Cooper Orlando, FL >>>>Unleash The Real Joker in You ... >>>> [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > appointment"[1] on either side of the Pond, or here in AUE for that > matter. It was quite clear to me that the poster meant "gathering appointment", "cocktail appointment" and "sales appointment". Of course, this leaves us with the "gathering appointment" problem. SignatureRob Bannister > > > Unleash The Real Joker in You ... > > > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > Barely a day goes by without one of those, here in Broadbottom. Ah yes. My book is full of cocktail appointments. Just near the dentist's. John Kane, Kingston ON Canada > DC |
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