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userme@hotmail.com - 25 Nov 2006 16:17 GMT

Hi
I would appreciate if you can help me with editing/rewrite this
paragraph which is part of my online dating profile. Thanks a lot.

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"I am honest, down to earth, and open minded. I have many interests but
i believe, whatever you do is fun if you have the right company. I am
looking for a lady with whom I can connect on all levels. Good
relationship must be based on respect, honestly, open communication.
Open minded, willing to compromise are import qualities to hold any
relationship."

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Don Phillipson - 25 Nov 2006 17:29 GMT

> Hi
> I would appreciate if you can help me with editing/rewrite this
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
> Open minded, willing to compromise are import qualities to hold any
> relationship."

1. The last sentence means nothing unless you
meant to write IMPORTANT. But we presume you
edited your paragraph carefully before posting it, but
missed the lower case i, HONESTY for HONESTY etc.

2. "whatever you do is fun if you have the right company"
appears very banal just here. If you mean you are
willing to try for the first time Wagner operas or downhill
ski racing or Zen meditation, you should say so.

I suggest you discard this and begin from the other
end, viz. writing to attract a person you want to meet.
People with a sense of humour, people who want
expensive entertainment, lonely people, etc., would
probably respond to quite different "profiles."

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Don Phillipson
Carlsbad Springs
(Ottawa, Canada)

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Discussion Groups / English Usage / November 2006

part of online profile