Punctuation. Not really a quote, but a thought out question.

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watari.pg@gmail.com - 10 Jan 2007 17:52 GMT

I'm having trouble knowing how to punctuate
the following sentence, which came up in a
translation. If it were a quote, I don't think
there would be any problem putting in a
question mark. But what's involved here is
somebody _thinking_ about a question in
their mind as other things are going on.

Here's the sentence I'm working with:

Or was it that she was the most beautiful of
everyone on this beach, Vincent thought, as
he watched the diving seagulls soaring in the
blue sky behind her.

Even though it's a question, there doesn't
seem to be any place to put a question mark.

If it were a quote, the question mark could go
there, like

"Do I think she's the most beautiful girl here?
Is that what you're asking?" Vincent said, as
he watched the diving seagulls soaring the in
blue sky behind her.

So how do you handle it when the question is
only going on in someone's mind?

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Archie Valparaiso - 10 Jan 2007 18:18 GMT

>I'm having trouble knowing how to punctuate
>the following sentence, which came up in a
[quoted text clipped - 24 lines]
>So how do you handle it when the question is
>only going on in someone's mind?

Leave it as is, as the lesser of two evils. (Thoughts are often set in
italics in modern fiction, but not even that would solve this
problem.)

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Archie Valparaiso

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Archie Valparaiso - 10 Jan 2007 18:22 GMT

>>I'm having trouble knowing how to punctuate
>>the following sentence, which came up in a
[quoted text clipped - 17 lines]
>italics in modern fiction, but not even that would solve this
>problem.)

Sorry, it's just occurred to me that if you're uncomfortable about
breaking the rules, then simple-enough rewrites are available:

    Or maybe she's just the most beautiful on the beach, Vincent
    thought as he watched...

    But then Vincent wondered, as he watched the seagulls soaring
    in the blue sky behind her, whether she was just the most
    beautiful on the beach.

. . . and so on.

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Archie Valparaiso

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Mark Brader - 10 Jan 2007 19:20 GMT

P.G. Watari, I suppose, asks about:

> Or was it that she was the most beautiful of
> everyone on this beach, Vincent thought, as
> he watched the diving seagulls soaring in the
> blue sky behind her.

I can imagine:

[1] Leaving it as is;
[2] Using quotation marks for the thoughts, and punctuating as a normal
quotation;
[3] Reordering the sentence so the thought is the last thing, allowing
a natural question mark at the end;
[4] Using italics for the thoughts, and changing the first comma to a
question mark (in italics);
[5] As 4, but retaining the comma in addition to the question mark;
[6] As 5, but without the italics.

Personally, I like 4 best. Or rather, I dislike it least. In casual
email I'd probably use 2 or 6, but the "?," in 5 and 6 is definitely
nonstandard.

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Mark Brader, Toronto "Asps. Very dangerous. You go first."
msb@vex.net -- Raiders of the Lost Ark

My text in this article is in the public domain.

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Peter Moylan - 11 Jan 2007 00:34 GMT

> Here's the sentence I'm working with:
>
> Or was it that she was the most beautiful of everyone on this beach,
> Vincent thought, as he watched the diving seagulls soaring in the
> blue sky behind her.

Leave the punctuation as it is, but change "thought" to "wondered".

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Peter Moylan http://www.pmoylan.org

Please note the changed e-mail and web addresses. The domain
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Discussion Groups / English Usage / January 2007

Punctuation. Not really a quote, but a thought out question.