Discussion Groups / English Usage / January 2007

[...]

As follows:
[from Puck of Pook's Hill]
A Smuggler's Song
Rudyard Kipling

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--------

     IF YOU wake at midnight, and hear a horse's feet,
     Don't go drawing back the blind, or looking in the street,
     Them that ask no questions isn't told a lie.
     Watch the wall, my darling, while the Gentlemen go by!
                     Five and twenty ponies,
                     Trotting through the dark-
                     Brandy for the Parson,
                     'Baccy for the Clerk;
                     Laces for a lady, letters for a spy,
     And watch the wall, my darling, while the Gentlemen go by!
     Running round the woodlump if you chance to find
     Little barrels, roped and tarred, all full of brandy-wine,
     Don't you shout to come and look, nor use 'em for your play.
     Put the brishwood back again-and they'll be gone next day!

     If you see the stable-door setting open wide;
     If you see a tired horse lying down inside;
     If your mother mends a coat cut about and tore;
     If the lining's wet and warm-don't you ask no more!

     If you meet King George's men, dressed in blue and red,
     You be careful what you say, and mindful what is said.
     If they call you "pretty maid," and chuck you 'neath the chin,
     Don't you tell where no one is, nor yet where no one's been!

     Knocks and footsteps round the house-whistles after dark-
     You've no call for running out till the house-dogs bark.
     Trusty's here, and Pincher's here, and see how dumb they lie-
     They don't fret to follow when the Gentlemen go by!

     If you do as you've been told, 'likely there's a chance,
     You'll be give a dainty doll, all the way from France,
     With a cap of Valenciennes, and a velvet hood-
     A present from the Gentlemen, along o' being good!
                     Five and twenty ponies,
                     Trotting through the dark-
                     Brandy for the Parson,
                     'Baccy for the Clerk.
     Them that asks no questions isn't told a lie-
     Watch the wall, my darling, while the Gentlemen go by!

Seems to be "dark", not "spark", and I agree that neither rhyme with "clerk"
hereabouts either.  It seems doubtful that an American audience was
considered, though.

What's "Devon chavs"?

Yes, yes, but you're missing a link.  The above comments plays on a
separate thread about the movie "Oxford Blues".  It's not intended to
be read as a serious comment.

Absolutely.  It leaps out at me every time I hear "Echo Beach" (and yes,
I know that's NAm rather than Am).

I'm of a certain age. I did recognise it as a poem I must have been
familiar with at one time, but I certainly could not have guessed the
author. Sounds almost Walter de la Mare.

On 24 Jan 2007, Mike M wrote

I knew it was a parody, but had never heard the original -- only the
earlier Flanders & Swann parody of "Bedstead Men".

(It was exactly like hearing a parody of the "Father William" versoin
where he stands on his head.)

And conversely: Americans hearing BrE "clerk" automatically think of one
of those things that sit on the wall going "tick terk".

[...]

I imagine the bikes are too hot to handle profitably in the UK and
neighbours, maybe even as spares. They certainly won't be legally
usable.

I wonder if it was more a matter of being given 28 days to inform the
Receiver of Wreck, and then, if there was a claim against you, beginning
a legal process to establish ownership. A Scottish fisherman a year or
two ago was in dispute with the Andrew over a disabled remote-controlled
submarine he'd caught, and wasn't going to give back till they came
across with a good reward. But that was salvage at sea rather than from
the foreshore, so it may be different.

[...]

You're not stealing it, you're rescuing it from further damage by successive
tides. The form you fill in is to enable the Receiver of Wrecks to find the
legal owners and put them in touch with you. Then, says Alison Kentuck, the
MCA's deputy receiver:

"A reward to the finder could be offered, depending on the value of the
goods, the condition they are in after rescue, and the effort involved in
recovering them from the beach. Wheeling something home is not classed as a
huge amount of effort."

(Obviously Ms Deputy Receiver of Wrecks has never wheeled a BMW up a sandy
beach.)

"Hiding the goods and not giving them back is a criminal offence, with a
possible fine of up to £2,500 per offence.

Plus, the hot-fingered beach-comber, would waive their right to a salvage
award, and have to pay the owner twice the good's value: 'In the case of a
BMW motorbike, it could be quite expensive'."

<http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6287047.stm>

Apparently not.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/01/23/uk.ship/index.html?eref=rss_latest
"And plunder from the ship has already started to appear on Internet auction
Web site eBay, the UK Press Association reported."

Because it's helpful if people gather up items deposited on shore from a
wreck and keep them safe for the owners but it's unreasonable to expect them
to hotfoot it to the nearest cop shop the very second they lay their hands
on it. In other words, the law was based on the idea that people will hand
in lost property (as they are expected to do on trains, buses and plain old
pavements) but there's an added remoteness to sea salvage.
Of course, the looters *are* stealing the stuff in this case and the law is
working to their advantage. Usually the law only works to the advantage of
criminals running businesses and the benefits run into millions. The law
aiding ordinary folks to get away with a few hundred quid's worth is unusual
and is therefore exciting comment.
But are we not all wreckers, as Henry David observed in re Cape Cod?

"Though there are wreck-masters appointed to look after valuable property
which must be advertised, yet undoubtedly a great deal of value is secretly
carried off. But are we not all wreckers contriving that some treasure may
be washed up on our beach, that we may secure it, and do we not infer the
habits of these Nauset and Barnegat wreckers, from the common modes of
getting a living?"

You'd be surprised. At least one bike has ended up on ebay.