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Discussion Groups / English Usage / January 2007bilingual puns
A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you cross a condom with a Torah? Answer- A safer Torah. (in Hebrew, sefer torah refers to Torah scroll.) This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. I sure hope not! > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. Like the one about the snail automobile race? When the snail with the letter S painted on his car pulled ahead, spectators exclaimed "Look at that S car go!" > A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you > cross a condom with a Torah? > > Answer- A safer Torah. (in Hebrew, sefer torah refers to Torah scroll.) > > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. J. Joyce, /Finnegans Wake/, or so I'm told. V. Nabokov, passim. "Van, /je suis sur la verge/ (Blanche again) of a revolting amorous adventure." (/Ada/, Part Two, Chapter 1, p. 334. A character named Blanche had given a memorable speech in Franglais.) Nobody likes the Spanglish jokes I've heard here in New Mexico: A pachuco is cruising in his lowrider and sees a pretty girl from behind. He opens the window and calls out, "Hop on, esa!" She says, "How did you know I'm Japanese?" How do you spell socks? S-o-c-k-s. ?Eso s? que es! Apologies to a.u.e.-ers and former a.u.s.-ers who have suffered through those last two before. Are explanations in order? "Verge" is French for penis. "Esa", literally "that", is a friendly pachuco address to a girl or woman--feminine of "ese", from the greeting "?Ese bato!", "that guy!" "Japonesa" is Spanish for a female Japanese. The last punchline is Spanish that I can't parse for something like "That's just what it is!"  SignatureJerry Friedman -- Jerry Friedman > > A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you > > cross a condom with a Torah? [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > -- > Jerry Friedman A story I was told concerned an englishman whose wife died in France where they were living. As he needed a black hat for the funeral, he went to a hatters and asked for 'un capeau noir'. On being told that they didn't have any 'capeaux noir' he was directed to the pharmacy. Arriving at the pharmacists he asked again for 'un capeau noir' and when the pharmacist said sorry they only had them in clear, red and blue, asked why he wanted a capeau noir, to which the englishman answered, 'parce que ma femme est mort'.The pharmacist held up his hands and exclaimed, 'aah, quelle finesse!' Richard Lichten < < . . . an englishman whose wife died in France where they were living. As he needed a black hat for the funeral, he went to a hatters and asked for 'un capeau noir'. On being told that they didn't have any 'capeaux noir' he was directed to the pharmacy. Arriving at the pharmacists he asked again for 'un capeau noir' and when the pharmacist said sorry they only had them in clear, red and blue, asked why he wanted a capeau noir, to which the englishman answered, 'parce que ma femme est mort'.The pharmacist held up his hands and exclaimed, 'aah, quelle finesse!' > > Next time you tell the story, remember it is CAPOTE not CAPEAU. It goes better thus. SignatureDon Phillipson Carlsbad Springs (Ottawa, Canada) > < < . . . an englishman whose wife died in France > where they were living. As he needed a black hat for the funeral, he [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > Carlsbad Springs > (Ottawa, Canada) Thanks, someone *told* me the story, so that's how I assumed it was spelt. It was a long time ago and I was never much good at French.. Richard Lichten > < < . . . an englishman whose wife died in France > where they were living. As he needed a black hat for the funeral, he [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > Next time you tell the story, remember it is > CAPOTE not CAPEAU. It goes better thus. Eether weigh, it's a monolingual pun in French, my ear. SignatureFrank ess > Eether weigh, it's a monolingual pun in French... I got one o' them! A billboard advertising toothpaste depicted Louis Quatorze flashing a big gleaming smile and saying L'eclat? C'est moi! Gerry The jerry_friedman@yahoo.com entity posted thusly: >> A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you >> cross a condom with a Torah? [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > >¡Eso sí que es! TNSLPPTSO (Tienes el pipi tieso) On Jan 23, 10:19 pm, "jerry_fried...@yahoo.com" <jerry_fried...@yahoo.com> wrote: > > A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you > > cross a condom with a Torah? [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > V. Nabokov, passim. Right. You got there before me, but if the OP is interested in this sort of thing then Nabokov's works are definitely the place to look. He was fascinated by the problems of translating jokes, riddles etc. between languages, and wrote extensively about it. (I'm told that translators say that he was a much worse translator than he thought he was, but I don't have an opinion about that.) Nabokov gave a nice example of a pair of typographical errors that translated with little loss of meaning between Russian and English, involving the words "crown", "cow" and "crow". Something like a newspaper publishing a story with "Crown" written as "Cow", followed the next day by an apology saying "We regret the unfortunate reference to 'the Cow' in yesterday's edition; this should of course have been 'the Crow'." I've forgotten most of such little Russian as I ever knew, but I think "crown" is "korona", "cow" I don't remember, but something similar, and "crow" is "korova". athel > On Jan 23, 10:19 pm, "jerry_fried...@yahoo.com" > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > > > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. > > J. Joyce, /Finnegans Wake/, or so I'm told. > > > V. Nabokov, passim. > Right. You got there before me, but if the OP is interested in this > sort of thing then Nabokov's works are definitely the place to look. He [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > "crown" is "korona", "cow" I don't remember, but something similar, and > "crow" is "korova". /Pale Fire/, note to line 803. "Cow" is "korova" and "crow" is "vorona". This was discussed recently at NABOKV-L (not a misprint); it seems Nabokov didn't make it up. SignatureSpearwielder Peaceman > Nobody likes the Spanglish jokes I've heard here in New Mexico: > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > ¡Eso sí que es! [...] > Are explanations in order? > "Verge" is French for penis. "Esa", > literally "that", is a friendly pachuco address to a girl or > woman--feminine of "ese", from the greeting "¡Ese bato!", "that guy!" > "Japonesa" is Spanish for a female Japanese. More precisely "ese/esa" is "that (over there by you)" as distinguished from "that (over there away from both of us)" or (in archaic English) "yon", which is Spanish "aquello/aquella". > The last punchline is Spanish that I can't parse for something like > "That's just what it is!" Closer, I think, to "That (thing over there by you, i.e. what you have just said) indeed is the case!", or less literally and in more idiomatic English, "Very true!". "Eso" is the neuter form of "ese". The neuter is used (among other things) for references to things that haven't yet been named and perhaps can't be (since anything that is named would have either masculine or feminine gender; there are no neuter nouns in Spanish) -- or something like that. SignatureRoland Hutchinson Will play viola da gamba for food. NB mail to my.spamtrap [at] verizon.net is heavily filtered to remove spam. If your message looks like spam I may not see it. > jerry_fried...@yahoo.com wrote: > > Nobody likes the Spanglish jokes I've heard here in New Mexico: [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > > ¡Eso sí que es! ... > > "Esa", literally "that", is a friendly pachuco address to a girl or > > woman--feminine of "ese", from the greeting "¡Ese bato!", "that guy!" ... > More precisely "ese/esa" is "that (over there by you)" as distinguished from > "that (over there away from both of us)" or (in archaic English) "yon", > which is Spanish "aquello/aquella". At least in Mexico, this distinction seems to be as obsolete as "yonder" is in the U. S. I've only noticed "aquello" (etc.) in specifying something otherwise unknown. For instance, "El término metrosexual, al igual que el de tecnosexual (aquel hombre amante de la tecnología y del prestigio social que esto representa) o el de retrosexual (aquel que regresa al estereotipo de masculinidad tradicional donde la fuerza y no la belleza es el referente esencial) es..." <http://www.eluniversal.com.mx/notas/399628.html>. For those following this, "The term 'metrosexual', just like 'technosexual' (THAT man who loves technology and the social prestige that this represents) or 'retrosexual' (THAT [man] who returns to the stereotype of traditional masculinity where strength and not good looks is the essential referent) is..." However, my search found lots of literary examples with the meaning you gave. I'm not sure how modern they are. Archie or someone may be able to help out here. Obaue: I didn't know "technosexual" or "retrosexual", which Mr. Google says exist in English. > > The last punchline is Spanish that I can't parse for something like > > "That's just what it is!" > Closer, I think, to "That (thing over there by you, i.e. what you have just > said) indeed is the case!", or less literally and in more idiomatic [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > masculine or feminine gender; there are no neuter nouns in Spanish) -- or > something like that. Thanks, but you haven't told me what the "que" is doing in there. (I know, "Idiom.") SignatureJerry Friedman >> jerry_fried...@yahoo.com wrote: >> > Nobody likes the Spanglish jokes I've heard here in New Mexico: [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > At least in Mexico, this distinction seems to be as obsolete as > "yonder" is in the U. S. Interesting. I hadn't realized that. [...] >> > The last punchline is Spanish that I can't parse for something like >> > "That's just what it is!" [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > Thanks, but you haven't told me what the "que" is doing in there. (I > know, "Idiom.") I suspect it's the same "que" as, or at least a close cousin of, the one in: ¡Que es verdad! ([It is the case] that it is true! -- Idiomatically, perhaps, "Is that ever the truth!", or "Boy oh boy, that's the truth!"). The meaning isn't much different from a simple ¡Es verdad!, it's just a bit more emphatic. (Disclaimer: I'm not a native Spanish speaker; my examples and translations may be total crocks. Well, probably not _total_.) SignatureRoland Hutchinson Will play viola da gamba for food. NB mail to my.spamtrap [at] verizon.net is heavily filtered to remove spam. If your message looks like spam I may not see it. On Jan 23, 4:19pm, "jerry_fried...@yahoo.com" <jerry_fried...@yahoo.com> wrote: > > A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you > > cross a condom with a Torah? [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > revolting amorous adventure." (/Ada/, Part Two, Chapter 1, p. 334. A > character named Blanche had given a memorable speech in Franglais.) Speaking of Nabokov, from "Pale fire" a mistranlation of a verse from "L'Albatross" IIRC "a peine" is translated "painfully". > On Jan 23, 4:19?pm, "jerry_fried...@yahoo.com" > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > character named Blanche had given a memorable speech in Franglais.)Speaking of Nabokov, from "Pale fire" a mistranlation of a verse from > "L'Albatross" IIRC "a peine" is translated "painfully". Can't quite be that--the only hit on "painful" and the only one on "painfully" in the searchable /Pale Fire/ at Amazon have nothing to do with "L'Albatros" (which seems to be a poem by Baudelaire that I read in college). Maybe one of Nabokov's other books? Or a different line? There definitely seem to be some thematic resemblances. SignatureJerry Friedman On 23 Jan 2007, retrosorter wrote > A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when > you cross a condom with a Torah? [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. If you're sick, eat garlic: garlic's good for what ails you. SignatureCheers, Harvey Canadian and British English, indiscriminately mixed For e-mail, change harvey.news to harvey.van >A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you >cross a condom with a Torah? > >Answer- A safer Torah. (in Hebrew, sefer torah refers to Torah scroll.) > >This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. An Anglo-Dutch author was famous (in Holland anyway) for his bilingual puns. His non de plume was John O'Mill (Jan van der Meulen) Three that I can remember: My will is wet Said Winifred And pulled her husband into bed. I bought three pots the other day I bought them for a prikkie A pot for here A pot for there And a little pot for Dickie A terrible infant, called Peter Sprinkled his bed with a gieter His father got woost, Took half of a cnoost, And gave him a pack on his meter Too hard to explain - if you are fluent in Dutch and its idioms, they'll cause a chuckle however. But just to give you some idea - Moeders "wil is wet" - Mothers will (desire) is the law "Pot for dickie" - a pun on potverdikkie - a severely bowdlerised version of a common Dutch oath/expletive A "pack on his meter" - a pun on pak op zijn mieter - a hiding. One of the books he wrote was titled "Literary Larycook" itself a subtle pun. Larycook --> Lariekoek = nonsense. Jitze Jitze Couperus filted: >>This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. > >One of the books he wrote was titled "Literary Larycook" itself >a subtle pun. Larycook --> Lariekoek = nonsense. Someone once asked Nicklaus Wirth how his surname should be pronounced...he answered "if you call me by name, it's Veert; if you call me by value, it's Worth".... I've been using this picture as a graphic .sig on eBay, where such things are encouraged: http://members.cox.net/bagelhenge/pipasig.jpg ....r Signature"You got Schadenfreude on my Weltanschauung!" "You got Weltanschauung in my Schadenfreude!" On 23 Jan 2007, R H Draney wrote > Jitze Couperus filted: >> [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > pronounced...he answered "if you call me by name, it's Veert; if > you call me by value, it's Worth".... Guy goes to Hawaii, and asks a native if he should say "ha-wah-ee" or "ha-vah-ee". The guy tells him "It's ha-vah-ee". He says "Thank you". The guy say "You're velcome". SignatureCheers, Harvey ....ah, the old ones.... Canadian and British English, indiscriminately mixed For e-mail, change harvey.news to harvey.van > Someone once asked Nicklaus Wirth how his surname should be > pronounced...he answered "if you call me by name, it's Veert; if you > call me by value, it's Worth".... I think he himself told the joke pretty much any time he gave a talk. When I heard it, it was "Europeans call me by name, /'niklaUs 'virt/, and Americans call me by value, /'nIk@lz wRT/ (nickle's worth)". For what it's worth, I think of him as /'nIk(@)lIs 'wRT/, even though I know better. For the other level of the joke, you have to know that Wirth's specialty was/is programming language design, and "call by name" and "call by value" are the names of two mechanisms for passing parameters to functions. SignatureEvan Kirshenbaum +------------------------------------ HP Laboratories |If the human brain were so simple 1501 Page Mill Road, 1U, MS 1141 |That we could understand it, Palo Alto, CA 94304 |We would be so simple |That we couldn't. kirshenbaum@hpl.hp.com (650)857-7572 http://www.kirshenbaum.net/ > > Someone once asked Nicklaus Wirth how his surname should be > > pronounced...he answered "if you call me by name, it's Veert; if you [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > When I heard it, it was "Europeans call me by name, /'niklaUs 'virt/, > and Americans call me by value, /'nIk@lz wRT/ (nickle's worth)". Another surname joke has a Jewish immigrant from Eastern Europe assigned the name, in the US, of Sean Ferguson. His original name was so hard to pronounce in English that on arrival at Ellis Island he picked out a substitute. But when he was asked for his name he couldn't remember the substitute, so he blurted out "Schoen Fergessen." ("I've forgotten.") Voila! Sean Ferguson. Then there was Sam Ting. This fellow was in line behind his cousin. They had the same name. The first cousin concluded his business, and the second cousin stepped up to the table. "What's your name" he was asked, and he decided to say it was the same as his cousin's. Voila! Sam Ting. Hey -- no one said they had to be good puns. SignatureBob Lieblich Whose grandfather made it through with name unscathed > Another surname joke has a Jewish immigrant from Eastern Europe > assigned the name, in the US, of Sean Ferguson. His original name was > so hard to pronounce in English that on arrival at Ellis Island he > picked out a substitute. But when he was asked for his name he > couldn't remember the substitute, so he blurted out "Schoen > Fergessen." ("I've forgotten.") Voila! Sean Ferguson. Hmm. "Schon", I think. Or "shon". SignatureSkitt Enuff, already [...] > Another surname joke has a Jewish immigrant from Eastern Europe > assigned the name, in the US, of Sean Ferguson. His original name > was so hard to pronounce in English that on arrival at Ellis Island > he picked out a substitute. But when he was asked for his name he > couldn't remember the substitute, so he blurted out "Schoen > Fergessen." ("I've forgotten.") Voila! Sean Ferguson. Bob, I'm disappointed in you -- one of the wittiest posters in AUE -- because you told this *stupid* "joke" only schmucks consider funny. And as a speaker of _a bisl yidish_ you should know how *stupid* this non-joke is. I've seen this *stupid* "joke" several times in various language newsgroups and elsewhere and hate it with a passion -- because it's so STUPID. Thus I'm going to kill it once and for all. This idiotic "joke" doesn't work because the stressed syllables don't match, and therefore you can't get from Yiddish "fargésn" to English "Férguson" (é = stressed, as are the syllables in caps below): Yiddish: "far-GES-n" English: "FER-gu-son" The jump from Yiddish "shoyn fargésn" = [I have] 'already forgotten' to "Sean/Shawn Férguson" is too big, improbable, and therefore unfunny and *stupid*. Punishment for anyone who's witless enough to retell that *stupid* joke will be swift, cruel and severe: That perpetrator will be locked up for 24 hours in a small, windowless room with "Rancid Dipshit" and "Heidi Hasenhirn." ~~~ Rey Aman ~~~ Witz-Polizei Rey wrote: >[...] > [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] >up for 24 hours in a small, windowless room with "Rancid Dipshit" and >"Heidi Hasenhirn." Rey, you're absolutely right, maybe. The joke Bob told is old, but he made a _ayn bisle booboo_. The story is about Shayne Ferguson who blurts out to the immigration officer "Oy, Ich shayn fergesn." The joke does work. It works because of the accents, and the way immigrants hear foreign words. As to it being stupid, the first time I heard it I just got out of triangular pants, and my uncle, who told it, got a healthy response from his audience. It appeared to be funny then. Times change, cultures change, humors change, and not all jokes survive. Bob may have blown the joke, but that's not the reason for it being unfunny to you, Rey. It doesn't work for you, because of your _goyishe kop_. -- Did that pun work? > Rey wrote: > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > >> couldn't remember the substitute, so he blurted out "Schoen > >> Fergessen." ("I've forgotten.") Voila! Sean Ferguson. ... > >The jump from Yiddish "shoyn fargésn" = [I have] 'already forgotten' > >to "Sean/Shawn Férguson" is too big, improbable, and therefore unfunny [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > >up for 24 hours in a small, windowless room with "Rancid Dipshit" and > >"Heidi Hasenhirn." > Rey, you're absolutely right, maybe. The joke Bob told is old, but he made > a _ayn bisle booboo_. The story is about Shayne Ferguson who blurts out to > the immigration officer "Oy, Ich shayn fergesn." > > The joke does work. It works because of the accents, and the way > immigrants hear foreign words. ... I too learned this joke with "Shane Ferguson". I believe it's Lithuanian Jews who pronounce YIVO "shoyn" as "shayn". At least my maternal grandfather did. But Rey knows more about Yiddish than I do. SignatureJerry Friedman >>Rey wrote: >> [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > Lithuanian Jews who pronounce YIVO "shoyn" as "shayn". At least my > maternal grandfather did. But Rey knows more about Yiddish than I do. Me too, when I was very young, from the Lithuanian branch of the family. There weren't many Shanes on Rightpondia in those days - for a long time I believed that it had something to do with Alan Ladd... SignatureLaura (emulate St. George for email) jerry_friedman wrote: >> Rey wrote: >> [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] >Lithuanian Jews who pronounce YIVO "shoyn" as "shayn". At least my >maternal grandfather did. But Rey knows more about Yiddish than I do. The Litvaks in myan family said _shayn_, and the Ukrainians also zogt _shayn_. These other pronunciations may come from Pylishers or Galitzianers; they're the ones who talked funny. BTW, what's with all those "=2E," "=3D", ...? -- This is turning into a Mickey Katz record L[aura]FS wrote (in AUE only): > Jerry Friedman wrote: > > Murray Arnow wrote: > >> Rey wrote: [...] > >> The joke does work. It works because of the accents, and > >> the way immigrants hear foreign words. Oy, Murray! And you are calling *me* a _goyishe kop_? First, this joke has nothing to do with *accents* but with non-matching *syllable stress*. Second, it's not about how the Jewish *immigrant* (mis)heard foreign words but how the *American* immigration official misunderstood the Yiddish verb "fargésn" (forget) and supposedly took it to be the surname "Ferguson." Third, if you just READ this stupid joke (i.e., look at the printed words), _Ferguson_ and the variously misspelled Yiddish verb (e.g. as _Fergessen_) LOOK close enough to be near-homophones, but if you PRONOUNCE the two words and know how to pronounce that Yiddish verb, these two words sound almost as different as "vertíginous" (ver-TI-ginous) and "vértigo" (VER-tigo), stress-wise. > > ... Murray, here you snipped what my objection to this *stupid* joke is all about and thus perhaps misled Jerry and Laura to miss my point. I'll restate the snipped part: This idiotic "joke" doesn't work because the stressed syllables don't match, and therefore you can't get from Yiddish "fargésn" to English "Férguson" (é = stressed, as are the syllables in caps below): Yiddish: "far-GES-n" English: "FER-gu-son" You see, it's *not* about the various Yiddish dialect pronunciations (your "accents") of "shoyn" and "sheyn" and "shon" and "shayn" and whatever, which lead to "Sean" and "Shawn" and "Shane" as the immigrant's new first name, to which I don't object, but it's about the stupid and impossible syllable-stress change from "fargésn" (far-GES-n) -- stressed on the SECOND syllable -- to "Férguson" (FER-gu-son) -- stressed on the FIRST syllable. If the English surname "Ferguson" were stressed on the second syllable (*Fer-GU-son), that joke would work, but because it's not stressed on the second syllable like the Yiddish verb but on the first syllable, that joke is *stupid* and sucks. > > I too learned this joke with "Shane Ferguson". I believe it's > > Lithuanian Jews who pronounce YIVO "shoyn" as "shayn". At least my > > maternal grandfather did. But Rey knows more about Yiddish than I do. Jerry, perhaps you meant "sheyn" (rhyming with "Shane"), not "shayn" (rhyming with "shine"). This "ey" and "ay" confusion is common in romanized Yiddish of most lay writers of Yiddish; just look at the trash by Leo Rosten and at Web sites with Yiddish glossaries. Not to mention the inconsistent additional variants "ei," "ai," "ej" and "aj." Oy! As indicated above, the change from "shayn" [correct: "sheyn"] to "Shane" is okay, because these two words are homophones; it's that stupid "Férguson" I object to, because it's sound-wise very different from "fargésn." > Me too, when I was very young, from the Lithuanian branch of the > family. There weren't many Shanes on Rightpondia in those days - for > a long time I believed that it had something to do with Alan Ladd... > > -- > Laura See my comments to Jerry, above. Murray, Jerry and Laura are very smart folks with a good ear for language; thus I'm puzzled why they did not notice what I'm objecting to, namely that stupid "Férguson" from "fargésn." ~~~ Rey ~~~ Perhaps a goy, but no goyishe kop, Yiddish-wise > See my comments to Jerry, above. Murray, Jerry and Laura are very > smart folks with a good ear for language; thus I'm puzzled why they [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Perhaps a goy, but no > goyishe kop, Yiddish-wise [aue only] Oh, I understand your objection perfectly. But applying rational analysis to a joke like that just doesn't work because there is more to the joke than the joke itself. When the joke is told by people who have their own stories of mishearing and misunderstanding not just the language but also the ways of doing things in the country they have arrived in, it takes on a different significance. When it was told by my aunts, uncles and grandparents, it was normally part of a conversation recounting similar incidents of their own experience, many of which were a good deal funnier in the telling than the joke, but which also carried a certain poignancy which I only recognise now, looking back. That's my take on it, anyway. SignatureLaura (emulate St. George for email) >> See my comments to Jerry, above. Murray, Jerry and Laura are very >> smart folks with a good ear for language; thus I'm puzzled why they [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > > That's my take on it, anyway. To my way of thinking, it is the very implausibility of it (even after the explanation), stress shift and all, that makes it a joke rather than, say, an urban legend. SignatureRoland Hutchinson Will play viola da gamba for food. NB mail to my.spamtrap [at] verizon.net is heavily filtered to remove spam. If your message looks like spam I may not see it. Rey wrote: >L[aura]FS wrote (in AUE only): > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > >Oy, Murray! And you are calling *me* a _goyishe kop_? I guess the double entendre didn't work. >First, this joke has nothing to do with *accents* but with >non-matching *syllable stress*. Rey, I noticed that immediately. Immigrants often stress the syllables differently than native-born speakers. This is a typical "immigrant caught up by unfamiliar circumstances" joke. >Second, it's not about how the Jewish *immigrant* (mis)heard foreign >words but how the *American* immigration official misunderstood the >Yiddish verb "fargésn" (forget) and supposedly took it to be the >surname "Ferguson." My point, clearly unclear, was it has nothing to do with how the official screwed up the name. It is all about how a Yiddish speaking audience assumes the way the official will screw up the name. >Third, if you just READ this stupid joke (i.e., look at the printed >words), _Ferguson_ and the variously misspelled Yiddish verb (e.g. as >_Fergessen_) LOOK close enough to be near-homophones, but if you >PRONOUNCE the two words and know how to pronounce that Yiddish verb, >these two words sound almost as different as "vertíginous" >(ver-TI-ginous) and "vértigo" (VER-tigo), stress-wise. I understand that, but I don't think it matters to the punster. Ogden Nash and Mickey Katz have this in common: change the stresses and pronunciations to make the pun work. This is very common in humor, and Jewish humor is no exception. >Murray, here you snipped what my objection to this *stupid* joke is >all about and thus perhaps misled Jerry and Laura to miss my point. [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] >syllable like the Yiddish verb but on the first syllable, that joke is >*stupid* and sucks. Rey, it wasn't I who snipped anything. I believe that distinction belongs to Jerry. Anyway, the misplaced stresses are exactly what makes this joke work: it's a pun after all. It may not be to your taste, but that's always a problem with puns. > Rey wrote: > >L[aura]FS wrote (in AUE only): [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > >First, this joke has nothing to do with *accents* but with > >non-matching *syllable stress*.Rey, Don't bother responding to Rindhole. He knows everything and is not interested in instructing, only in insulting. He thinks he's _very_ clever. On 24 Jan 2007, Peter T. Daniels wrote > Don't bother responding to Rindhole. He knows everything and is > not interested in instructing, only in insulting. At which he's rather embarrassingly poor. > He thinks he's _very_ clever. Amazingly, there are other posters who appear to share that view; it's a fairly reliable guide to perspicuity and/or the lack thereof. SignatureCheers, Harvey Canadian and British English, indiscriminately mixed For e-mail, change harvey.news to harvey.van H[arebrained] V[apid] S[hit-head] Harvey van Fuckle sniped again: > > Don't bother responding to Rindhole. He knows everything > > and is not interested in instructing, only in insulting. > At which he's rather embarrassingly poor. Ooooo! Envious little sniper Harvey, one of the most insignificant c.nts on Earth, just flung more dung! Harvey, you silly old twit, haven't I just shredded your dumb a.s in <alt.english.usage> (Subject: Banal)? You're itching for *more* punishment? If you were worth it, I would again kick your gross glutei, but I can't waste more time on nonentities like you. Since <sci.lang>ers are unfamiliar with the quality of Harvey's soul-shriveling zingers, here's his best attack on me so far: "...but he's really quite a sad case -- an ex-con with a cloth ear when it comes to insults with any real impact." Devastating, huh? And that pathetic little nobody Harvey -- a Canadian-British Arschitect -- calls *my* insulting skills "rather embarrassingly poor." Heh-heh. Poor Harvey is a crappy toad sitting in his mud hole and enviously shaking his little fist at that graceful eagle Aman swooping down on him and emptying his cloaca on that assholey amphibian. > > He thinks he's _very_ clever. > Amazingly, there are other posters who appear to share that view; Yup, that's the rare ones with wit & brains and sans envy. > it's a fairly reliable guide to perspicuity and/or the lack thereof. Lacking perspicuity is one of Harvey's most serious shortcomings, but it isn't nice to publicly point out such intellectual flaws of quasi-retards. > -- > Cheers, Harvey Cheer *this*, toad! ~~~ Ex-convict Rey ~~~ Just call me "Adler" http://www.sonic.net/maledicta/penpal_pr.html >> Rey wrote: >> >L[aura]FS wrote (in AUE only): [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] >interested in instructing, only in insulting. He thinks he's _very_ >clever. I'll respond to whomever I please. Instruction from you about Rey is worthless. And don't use me as a foil to attack Rey; show backbone and speak to him directly. Peter T. Daniels sniped (and snipped poorly): [Properly snipped and cleaned up] > Rey wrote: >> Murray Arnow wrote: [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > Don't bother responding to Rindhole. He knows everything and is not > interested in instructing, only in insulting. Kind of like you, Petey, eh? Except that *I* insult with a dash of wit & humor, whereas *your* lack of wit & humor is notorious. You're as funny as a decomposing wombat, Petey. If you should ever post anything even slightly witty or good-humored, do send me a copy by e-mail. And furthermore, since 1997 I've done plenty of instructing in AUE, other newsgroups, and occasionally in <sci.lang>, but after having cast bushels of instructive pearls before mostly you-know-whats, I've decided two years ago to escape from these newsgroup asylums and only occasionally peep into their barred windows and chuckle about such inmates as Freifrau Heidi von Hasenhirn. > He thinks he's _very_ clever. Ah sho' is clever (and yet do very stupid things), because I've had 70 years of accumulating knowledge; however, I'm certainly not as clever as some of the top brains in <sci.lang>, AUE and some German-language groups, and I marvel at their knowledge and clevericity. The difference between you and me is that I *admire* such clever and learnèd folks, whereas you're an *envious* Snippy Little Bitch (TM). ~~~ Rey ("Rindhole") Aman ~~~ Oh, wait, Petey -- here's even *more* for you to be envious about: I'm a real film star now! Check IMDb. I'm in this 2005 documentary/film: http://www.sonic.net/maledicta/Fuck-film.html Eat your envious little heart out, Petey! [...] > First, this joke has nothing to do with *accents* but with > non-matching *syllable stress*. ...which in the given context means almost the same thing. An important part of the thick, foreign accent is also the wrong stressing of the syllables. (perhaps that's why foreign pronounciation is called "accent" and not "vowel" or "rhythm") I know that because I'm an expert practitioner of a foreign accent and not too long ago, when I asked directions on the highway for a wrongly stressed locality I got nowhere. So your complaint about the joke is that the name is wrongly stressed, that's a joke by itself. [ ... ] > I know that because I'm an expert practitioner of a foreign accent and > not too long ago, when I asked directions on the highway for a wrongly > stressed locality I got nowhere. That brings back memories. Many years ago I was with a group of people in a hired car in Crete, and we wanted directions to a place called Matala. Not a difficult name to pronounce, you'd think. But all efforts to get a local person to understand where we wanted to go were greeted with totally blank looks, until it occurred to one of us to try stressing it on the first syllable instead of the second, and that immediately brought smiles and and the Greek equivalent of "Ah, Matala, why didn't you say so?". athel > L[aura]FS wrote (in AUE only): As I'm writing. > >JerryFriedmanwrote: > > > Murray Arnow wrote: > > >> Rey wrote:[...] > > > >> The joke does work. It works because of the accents, and > > >> the way immigrants hear foreign words.Oy, Murray! And you are calling *me* a _goyishe kop_? ... > > > ...Murray, here you snipped what my objection to this *stupid* joke is > all about and thus perhaps misledJerryand Laura to miss my point. Not misled. I just commented on the part I had a comment about. > I'll restate the snipped part: > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Yiddish: "far-GES-n" > English: "FER-gu-son" ... I'm not arguing, except that I think it's a matter of taste whether this discrepancy throws the pun too far off. > > > I too learned this joke with "Shane Ferguson". I believe it's > > > Lithuanian Jews who pronounce YIVO "shoyn" as "shayn". At least my > > > maternal grandfather did. But Rey knows more about Yiddish than I do. > Jerry, perhaps you meant "sheyn" (rhyming with "Shane"), not "shayn" > (rhyming with "shine"). This "ey" and "ay" confusion is common in > romanized Yiddish of most lay writers of Yiddish; just look at the > trash by Leo Rosten and at Web sites with Yiddish glossaries. Not to > mention the inconsistent additional variants "ei," "ai," "ej" and > "aj." Oy! ... I had the feeling the YIVO transliteration was "ey", but I was trying to represent the sound in a way that would make sense to English speakers. What I should have written was [SeIn], I guess. Apologies to anyone I misled. SignatureJerry Friedman >[...] >> Another surname joke has a Jewish immigrant from Eastern Europe >> assigned the name, in the US, of Sean Ferguson. His original name >> was so hard to pronounce in English that on arrival at Ellis Island >> he picked out a substitute. But when he was asked for his name he >> couldn't remember the substitute, so he blurted out "Schoen >> Fergessen." ("I've forgotten.") Voila! Sean Ferguson. >Bob, I'm disappointed in you -- one of the wittiest posters in AUE -- >because you told this *stupid* "joke" only schmucks consider funny. >And as a speaker of _a bisl yidish_ you should know how *stupid* this >non-joke is. >I've seen this *stupid* "joke" several times in various language >newsgroups and elsewhere and hate it with a passion -- because it's so >STUPID. Thus I'm going to kill it once and for all. >This idiotic "joke" doesn't work because the stressed syllables don't >match, and therefore you can't get from Yiddish "fargsn" to English >"Frguson" ( = stressed, as are the syllables in caps below): This joke has been going around for ages. An ingredient to the story is that the immigration officers were not the greatest linguists, and errors like this and more were quite common. That part is correct. >Yiddish: "far-GES-n" >English: "FER-gu-son" >The jump from Yiddish "shoyn fargsn" = [I have] 'already forgotten' >to "Sean/Shawn Frguson" is too big, improbable, and therefore unfunny >and *stupid*. SignatureThis address is for information only. I do not claim that these views are those of the Statistics Department or of Purdue University. Herman Rubin, Department of Statistics, Purdue University hrubin@stat.purdue.edu Phone: (765)494-6054 FAX: (765)494-0558 The Robert Lieblich entity posted thusly: >> > Someone once asked Nicklaus Wirth how his surname should be >> > pronounced...he answered "if you call me by name, it's Veert; if you [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] >asked, and he decided to say it was the same as his cousin's. Voila! >Sam Ting. Interesting... In the version I heard, a fellow walked into a dry cleaning place called "Oly Jorgesson's", and asked a Chinese fellow behind the counter if he could speak with the owner. Fellow answers that he is the owner, and that his name is Oly Jorgesson. When asked how he came to have that name, he said he was in the immigration line behind a tall, blond fellow. When it came to his turn, he stepped up to the counter, and was asked his name, he said "Sam Ting". ?Que le dijo el jaguar a la zorra? "Jaguar you?" ?Y que le contesto la zorra? "I am sorry". >A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you > cross a condom with a Torah? > > Answer- A safer Torah. (in Hebrew, sefer torah refers to Torah scroll.) > > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. Fench food never has two eggs in it, because one egg is always un oeuf. That's enough, Arfur > "retrosorter" <hrichler@sympatico.ca> wrote >> This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. > > Fench food never has two eggs in it, because one egg is always un > oeuf. One Scottish(?) soldier talking to another in France: If you want an egg, just go to the farmhouse, knock on the door and ask for an "oof". If you want twa eggs, ask for twa oofs. The stupid biddy'll give you three, and you give one back. SignatureEvan Kirshenbaum +------------------------------------ HP Laboratories |I believe there are more instances 1501 Page Mill Road, 1U, MS 1141 |of the abridgment of the freedom of Palo Alto, CA 94304 |the people by gradual and silent |encroachments of those in power kirshenbaum@hpl.hp.com |than by violent and sudden (650)857-7572 |usurpations. | James Madison http://www.kirshenbaum.net/ >> "retrosorter" <hrichler@sympatico.ca> wrote >>> This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > If you want twa eggs, ask for twa oofs. The stupid biddy'll give you > three, and you give one back. I read that one (not about eggs specifically) many years ago as fact, about a Scottish regiment in France during one of the World Wars. It has never occurred to me before to doubt it. Colin >A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you >cross a condom with a Torah? > >Answer- A safer Torah. (in Hebrew, sefer torah refers to Torah scroll.) > >This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. The name of the musical "Oh Calcutta" is allgedly a Franco-English pun that cannot be discussed in polite company. Not sure if this is an urban myth or not - but the image used in many of the posters and advertising materials for the musical would lend credence to this idea. See for example: http://www.ohcalcutta.it/assets/images/immagine_donna.jpg Jitze On Jan 23, 5:18 pm, couperus-eschew-t...@znet.com > The name of the musical "Oh Calcutta" is allgedly a Franco-English > pun that cannot be discussed in polite company. Not sure if this is > an urban myth or not - but the image used in many of the posters > and advertising materials for the musical would lend credence to this > idea. Absolutely, it was consciously made for "Quel cul t'as". But it's not bilingual. There is no English anywhere in it. >On Jan 23, 5:18 pm, couperus-eschew-t...@znet.com >> The name of the musical "Oh Calcutta" is allgedly a Franco-English [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >Absolutely, it was consciously made for "Quel cul t'as". >But it's not bilingual. There is no English anywhere in it. Whoosh! (The name of the musical "Oh Calcutta" is in what language?) Jitze > (The name of the musical "Oh Calcutta" is in what language?) Nitpick: The name of the musical is "Oh! Calcutta!" SignatureEvan Kirshenbaum +------------------------------------ HP Laboratories |It's not coherent, it's merely 1501 Page Mill Road, 1U, MS 1141 |focused. Palo Alto, CA 94304 | Keith Moore kirshenbaum@hpl.hp.com (650)857-7572 http://www.kirshenbaum.net/ Jitze Couperus a écrit : > The name of the musical "Oh Calcutta" is allgedly a Franco-English > pun that cannot be discussed in polite company. Not sure if this is [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Jitze Hey! That's the original painting which gave its title to the show! It was painted by Clovis Trouille, a French surrealist-anarchist painter. The French pun in the title is in the purest surrealist tradition, and I'm quite convinced that it was intentional on the part of its author! A further taste of Clovis Trouille's paintings: http://www.clovis-trouille.net/ SignatureIsabelle Cecchini > Jitze Couperus a écrit : > > [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > The French pun in the title is in the purest surrealist tradition, and > I'm quite convinced that it was intentional on the part of its author! In case anyone is wondering, as I did, what the pun is, you can find an answer at http://preview.tinyurl.com/278dvj where it says, in part # Apparently, Oh! Calcutta! is a pun on the French # phrase "Oh, quel cu t'as", which means: "Oh, what # an a.s you have". The subject was discussed in alt.usage.english in 1996. See http://preview.tinyurl.com/29jxhy . In that thread, one posting that discusses the pun is the one written by 'Polar.' A Google Groups search finds some difference in opinion as to how the pun should be interpreted. Some say French 'cul' should be translated 'a.s'; others say 'c.nt.' Similar uncertainties exist in English, where 'fanny' means 'c.nt' in England (according to some sources), 'a.s' in America. Also, 'piece of a.s' for sexual intercourse leaves doubt as to just what 'a.s' means. > A further taste of Clovis Trouille's paintings: > http://www.clovis-trouille.net/ > Jitze Couperus a écrit : >> [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > A further taste of Clovis Trouille's paintings: > http://www.clovis-trouille.net/ And while in Gallic realms, I recollect a novelty song from way back about some little kittens who ventured too close to the water. The (punch)line was: "Un, deux, trois cats sank." SignatureJohn Dean Oxford Therefore man fills himself with joie de vivre And goes out to celebrate New Year's Ivre. -- Ogden Nash Signature--- Joe Fineman joe_f@verizon.net ||: If you pray to God to smite your enemies, Satan is your :|| ||: god. :|| > A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you > cross a condom with a Torah? > > Answer- A safer Torah. (in Hebrew, sefer torah refers to Torah scroll.) > > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. Three little french kittens went skating on thin ice... un deux trois quatre cinq. SignatureWH > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. I once had a dream in which Hirzebruch was giving a talk about fibre bundles (Faeserbundel). At one point, he considered a particular example in which he started with a vector bundle with metric and removed its unit ball bundle (a standard construction) and described this operation as a Faesectomy. Sorry it isn't more polished. It was a dream, after all. SignatureIgnorantly, Allan Adler <ara@zurich.csail.mit.edu> * Disclaimer: I am a guest and *not* a member of the MIT CSAIL. My actions and * comments do not reflect in any way on MIT. Also, I am nowhere near Boston. > > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns.I once had a dream in which Hirzebruch was giving a talk about > fibre bundles (Faeserbundel). At one point, he considered a particular [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Sorry it isn't more polished. It was a dream, after all. A search for "vas deferens" will turn up a lot. SignatureJerry Friedman Allan Adler schrieb: >> This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. > > I once had a dream in which Hirzebruch was giving a talk about > fibre bundles (Faeserbundel). Faserbündel. (Or Faserbuendel, if your font lacks the `ü'.) > At one point, he considered a particular > example in which he started with a vector bundle with metric and removed > its unit ball bundle (a standard construction) and described this operation > as a Faesectomy. > > Sorry it isn't more polished. It was a dream, after all. You have strange dreams indeed. Best, Carsten SignatureCarsten Schultz (2:38, 33:47) http://carsten.codimi.de/ PGP/GPG key on the pgp.net key servers, fingerprint on my home page. >A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you >cross a condom with a Torah? > >Answer- A safer Torah. (in Hebrew, sefer torah refers to Torah scroll.) > >This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. The satirist/comedian Pieter-Dirk Uys, or his alter ego Evita Bezuidenhout, sometime ambassador to the independent homeland of Bapetikosweti, was responsible for many. One of my favourites was at the time of the new constitution that introduced the tri-cameral parliament, and he was playing a putative coloured voter reading an official document designed to test her understanding of the voting process. Maak 'n sin met die woord "fakulteit" (Make a sentence with the word "faculty".) Ek het fakulteit vir die new constitution (I've got f.ck-all time for the new constitution) SignatureSteve Hayes from Tshwane, South Africa Web: http://hayesfam.bravehost.com/stevesig.htm E-mail - see web page, or parse: shayes at dunelm full stop org full stop uk > A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when > you cross a condom with a Torah? [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. This is a true -- though dull -- story: I once was searching desperately for a pen to write down a phone number, but I couldn't find one. Eventually, I gave up looking for the pen and just used a pencil I'd found, and -- I swear it just came to me like *that* -- I thought to myself "ce n'est pas la pen". Sometimes I just crack me up. Well, maybe you had to be there. Signaturerzed I wasn't actually smoking anything right at that moment. Really. > A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you > cross a condom with a Torah? [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. When we were first married my wife would open the window in the morning and say "Lo, the morn!" Now she just says "Coup de grace." SignaturePeter Moylan http://www.pmoylan.org Please note the changed e-mail and web addresses. The domain eepjm.newcastle.edu.au no longer exists, and I can no longer receive mail at my newcastle.edu.au addresses. The optusnet address could disappear at any time. >> A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you >> cross a condom with a Torah? >> Answer- A safer Torah. (in Hebrew, sefer torah refers to Torah >> scroll.) >> This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. >When we were first married my wife would open the window in the morning >and say "Lo, the morn!" Now she just says "Coup de grace." There is a book, _Fractured French_, which has French phrases which have totally different meanings if read by an English speaker who knows no French. SignatureThis address is for information only. I do not claim that these views are those of the Statistics Department or of Purdue University. Herman Rubin, Department of Statistics, Purdue University hrubin@stat.purdue.edu Phone: (765)494-6054 FAX: (765)494-0558 >> When we were first married my wife would open the window in the >> morning and say "Lo, the morn!" Now she just says "Coup de grace." > > There is a book, _Fractured French_, which has French phrases which > have totally different meanings if read by an English speaker who > knows no French. One of my favourites is the sign "Suivre la piste" which can be found in some French parks. This obviously means "Follow the intoxicated woman". I've mentioned this one before, but ... when my French-speaking wife and an equally French-speaking friend first visited Australia, they were initially puzzled by the sign "No pets" that is found in many camping grounds. The French word "pet" means "fart". One of the most central stations in the Brussels metro system is located at the intersection of Wetstraat and Kunstlaan. Not surprisingly, the name of the station in Dutch is "Kunst-Wet". Since my knowledge of Dutch is poor, I automatically read the sign as "Wet-kunts". SignaturePeter Moylan http://www.pmoylan.org Please note the changed e-mail and web addresses. The domain eepjm.newcastle.edu.au no longer exists, and I can no longer receive mail at my newcastle.edu.au addresses. The optusnet address could disappear at any time. >>> When we were first married my wife would open the window in the >>> morning and say "Lo, the morn!" Now she just says "Coup de grace." [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > found in some French parks. This obviously means "Follow the > intoxicated woman". Unfortunately, I don't have the albums handy,[1] so I'll have to do this from memory, but Woody Woodbury had a routine that included several of these. The ones I remember are "Jean d'Arc" (the bulb's burned out), "hors de combat" (the girls are fighting again) and "carte blanche" (they're bringing Blanche home in a wagon). [1] I was going to rip my parents' LPs the last time I was in Chicago, but I managed not to bring the connector I needed, and I didn't get a chance to go out and buy one. SignatureEvan Kirshenbaum +------------------------------------ HP Laboratories |If I am ever forced to make a 1501 Page Mill Road, 1U, MS 1141 |choice between learning and using Palo Alto, CA 94304 |win32, or leaving the computer |industry, let me just say it was kirshenbaum@hpl.hp.com |nice knowing all of you. :-) (650)857-7572 | Randal Schwartz http://www.kirshenbaum.net/ Some other French signs likely to be miscionstrued by unilingual anglophones are: maison de cuir and mets chinois > >> In article <45b70b27$0$5743$afc38...@news.optusnet.com.au>, Peter > >> Moylan <p...@ozebelgDieSpammers.org> wrote: [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > > http://www.kirshenbaum.net/ > [1] I was going to rip my parents' LPs the last time I was in Chicago, > but I managed not to bring the connector I needed, and I didn't > get a chance to go out and buy one. If you're having the trouble, at least get them to 24/96 Flac, no matter how worn out they are. You'll still get 4-6 per DVD. Signatuream laurus : rhodophyta : brethoneg : smalltalk : stargate -- Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com > In article <45b70b27$0$5743$afc38...@news.optusnet.com.au>, > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > which have totally different meanings if read by an English > speaker who knows no French. Not to mention, of course, *Mots d'heures, gousses, ra^mes*. >> In article <45b70b27$0$5743$afc38...@news.optusnet.com.au>, >> [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > >Not to mention, of course, *Mots d'heures, gousses, ra^mes*. Oooh yes - I'd forgotten those Un petit d'un petit S'étonne aux Halles Un petit d'un petit Ah! degrés te fallent Indolent qui ne sort cesse Indolent qui ne se mène Qu'importe un petit d'un petit Tout Gai de Regennes Caused no end of consternation when the Memsahib caught me mumbling aloud, sounding like Inspector Clouseau trying to recite English nursery rhymes. Jitze The Peter T. Daniels entity posted thusly: >> In article <45b70b27$0$5743$afc38...@news.optusnet.com.au>, >> [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > >Not to mention, of course, *Mots d'heures, gousses, ra^mes*. Now _that_ one I have! The last time I saw it in a bookstore, I bought two or three copies. I kept losing the previous ones I owned to folks who forgot to return them. Et Curie de Curie D'oc. The Herman Rubin entity posted thusly: >>> A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you >>> cross a condom with a Torah? [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] >which have totally different meanings if read by an English >speaker who knows no French. I wish I had that one! My father had a copy, and I used to read it at least once per year. Some I remember... Sil vous plait - Not sterling. Carte Blanche - Blanche is too drunk to walk. A la carte - On the wagon. Hors de Combat - The women are fighting again. > The Herman Rubin entity posted thusly: > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > A la carte - On the wagon. > Hors de Combat - The women are fighting again. "Battle horse" is also a recognised translation of "hors de combat". Then there's Pas de deux -- Singles only. Je t'adore -- Shut the door. Défence de cracher -- We're out of bullets, use fireworks. Auspices -- Horse urine and a few hundred more that I've gone and forgotten. _Punch_ magazine had a regular column called "Let's parler franglais" at one time. SignaturePeter Moylan http://www.pmoylan.org Please note the changed e-mail and web addresses. The domain eepjm.newcastle.edu.au no longer exists, and I can no longer receive mail at my newcastle.edu.au addresses. The optusnet address could disappear at any time. >> The Herman Rubin entity posted thusly: >> [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > and a few hundred more that I've gone and forgotten. _Punch_ magazine > had a regular column called "Let's parler franglais" at one time. Someone will have to help with the spelling, but - Frappe!, Frappe! Qui e la? Losti Losti qui? That's why I'm knocking. I frequently play Debussy's "Girl with horses loins" and Kodaly's "Buttocks Pressing Song". SignatureRay UK -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 1219 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Try SPAMfighter for free now! >> Pas de deux -- Singles only. >> Je t'adore -- Shut the door. [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > Losti qui? > That's why I'm knocking. I know it (or, rather, something like it) only as a monolingual joke in French that can nonetheless be told only to English speakers for a couple of reasons (viz: 1. The knock-knock joke topos -- or is it a trope? 2. The transcendent subtlety of the Spoonerism in the punch line): The Only Known Example of a Knock-Knock Joke in French Frappe! Frappe! Qui va là? Alençon. Alençon qui? (Sung:) Allons enfants de la Patrie... ObAUE: Je vous en prie, Mme Spira, de veuiller me pardonner. SignatureRoland Hutchinson Will play viola da gamba for food. NB mail to my.spamtrap [at] verizon.net is heavily filtered to remove spam. If your message looks like spam I may not see it. >> The Herman Rubin entity posted thusly: >> [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > and a few hundred more that I've gone and forgotten. _Punch_ magazine > had a regular column called "Let's parler franglais" at one time. Pièce de résistance - French bit that struggles. SignatureRob Bannister >>> Sil vous plait - Not sterling. >>> Carte Blanche - Blanche is too drunk to walk. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > >Pièce de résistance - French bit that struggles. Baguette - not only is she ugly, but likely under the age of consent as well. Jitze > There is a book, _Fractured French_, which has French phrases which > have totally different meanings if read by an English speaker who > knows no French. Voici l'anglais avec son sangfroid habituel. Here comes the Englishman with his usual bloody cold. Signature--- Joe Fineman joe_f@verizon.net ||: Whatever actually gets done has won a baloney contest. :|| > > A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you > > cross a condom with a Torah? [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns.When we were first married my wife would open the window in the morning > and say "Lo, the morn!" Now she just says "Coup de grace." Not an easy one for the rhotic. SignatureJerry Friedman The jerry_friedman@yahoo.com entity posted thusly: >> > A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you >> > cross a condom with a Torah? [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > >Not an easy one for the rhotic. Yep. We just say "Mow de Lawn! 23 Jan 2007 12:08:27 -0800: "retrosorter" <hrichler@sympatico.ca>: in sci.lang: >A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you >cross a condom with a Torah? > >Answer- A safer Torah. (in Hebrew, sefer torah refers to Torah scroll.) > >This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. When looking for "yes, paarden" (Dutch-English pun) I found: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bilingual_pun There's also an English-Gronings pun (Gronings = Low-Saxon dialect spoken in a northern province of the Netherlands): http://www.moorsmagazine.com/onzinbak/grunengels.html Explanation: "Kwaajt ouk naajt!" is Grunnings for what in Dutch could be " 'k weet 't ook niet", meaning "I don't know either". SignatureRuud Harmsen - http://rudhar.com DMZ: http://rudhar.com/index/whatsnew.htm The Ruud Harmsen entity posted thusly: >23 Jan 2007 12:08:27 -0800: "retrosorter" <hrichler@sympatico.ca>: in >sci.lang: [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] >When looking for "yes, paarden" (Dutch-English pun) I found: >http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bilingual_pun Great Wikipedia entry! Thanks. While reading the Hindi offerings there, I was reminded that I once made up a pun that played on an Indian name. It isn't quite bilingual, unless you consider names to have language, but here it is anyway. A folk-singing group was touring in India, and could not figure out the audience reaction at certain times. Whenever they got to one of the refrains in a song, the vocalist would shout out "Everybody sing!", but instead of singing, the audience members just looked around at each other, saying "Well, we are not *all* Singh!" [...] > While reading the Hindi offerings there, I was reminded that I once > made up a pun that played on an Indian name. It isn't quite bilingual, [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > members just looked around at each other, saying "Well, we are not > *all* Singh!" That's an eppalling punjabi joke. They make me sikh. You should be kicked in the Hind quarters for anything simla. Which reminds me of Napier's apocryphal report on capturing part of the Indus Valley: "Peccavi". SignatureMike. -- Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com >> Whenever they got to one of the refrains in a song, the vocalist >> would shout out "Everybody sing!", but instead of singing, the [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > Which reminds me of Napier's apocryphal report on capturing part of > the Indus Valley: "Peccavi". Once, when asked about the state of the weather, and being unable to remember the plu- word, I replied "regnat". You may now groan. I won't even attempt to recount what I said when offered a glass of port in bad weather. SignaturePeter Moylan http://www.pmoylan.org Please note the changed e-mail and web addresses. The domain eepjm.newcastle.edu.au no longer exists, and I can no longer receive mail at my newcastle.edu.au addresses. The optusnet address could disappear at any time. Peter Moylan filted: >Once, when asked about the state of the weather, and being unable to >remember the plu- word, I replied "regnat". You may now groan. > >I won't even attempt to recount what I said when offered a glass of port >in bad weather. I can't decide whether that one was better or worse for having to figure it out myself....t Signature"You got Schadenfreude on my Weltanschauung!" "You got Weltanschauung in my Schadenfreude!" > I won't even attempt to recount what I said when offered a glass of port > in bad weather. "An ill wine -- no body; it's blowing good"? SignatureRoland Hutchinson Will play viola da gamba for food. NB mail to my.spamtrap [at] verizon.net is heavily filtered to remove spam. If your message looks like spam I may not see it. >> I won't even attempt to recount what I said when offered a glass of port >> in bad weather. > > "An ill wine -- no body; it's blowing good"? I've lost track. Are we back in the tuba thread? SignaturePeter Moylan http://www.pmoylan.org Please note the changed e-mail and web addresses. The domain eepjm.newcastle.edu.au no longer exists, and I can no longer receive mail at my newcastle.edu.au addresses. The optusnet address could disappear at any time. >>> I won't even attempt to recount what I said when offered a glass of port >>> in bad weather. >> >> "An ill wine -- no body; it's blowing good"? > > I've lost track. Are we back in the tuba thread? That would be a bassless assumption. SignatureRoland Hutchinson Will play viola da gamba for food. NB mail to my.spamtrap [at] verizon.net is heavily filtered to remove spam. If your message looks like spam I may not see it. >>>> I won't even attempt to recount what I said when offered a glass >>>> of port in bad weather. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > That would be a bassless assumption. Oh, no! Not that damned euphonious singing fish again! (BTW, was it mentioned earlier that the Queen had one of them, and, according to one account, found it unfailingly diverting?) SignatureMike. -- Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com >>>>> I won't even attempt to recount what I said when offered a glass >>>>> of port in bad weather. [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > mentioned earlier that the Queen had one of them, and, according to one > account, found it unfailingly diverting?) Well, there are euphonia and then there are euphonia. I was asked to do some coaching of a euph orchestra earlier this week here in New Jersey, but when I got there, I found to my confusion that they were all middle-schoolers playing stringed instruments. SignatureRoland Hutchinson Will play viola da gamba for food. NB mail to my.spamtrap [at] verizon.net is heavily filtered to remove spam. If your message looks like spam I may not see it. > [...] >> While reading the Hindi offerings there, I was reminded that I once [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > Which reminds me of Napier's apocryphal report on capturing part of the > Indus Valley: "Peccavi". "Peccavi - I've Sindh" wrote Lord Ellen so proud; More briefly Dalhousie wrote "Vovi - I've Oudh". Colin 23 Jan 2007 12:08:27 -0800: "retrosorter" <hrichler@sympatico.ca>: in sci.lang: >A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you >cross a condom with a Torah? > >Answer- A safer Torah. (in Hebrew, sefer torah refers to Torah scroll.) > >This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. http://www.webkim.nl/pivot/entry.php?uid=standard-1405 === Dezelfde Engelsman rijdt een tiental kippen dood op het Groninger platteland. De boer komt kwaad aanstormen (met waarschijnlijk een hooivork in zijn hand). Engelsman: keep quiet! Boer: wat kiep kwait? Wel 10 kiepen kwait!:-D === (Dutch kip = chicken). SignatureRuud Harmsen - http://rudhar.com DMZ: http://rudhar.com/index/whatsnew.htm Ruud Harmsen skreiv: > Dezelfde Engelsman rijdt een tiental kippen dood op het Groninger > platteland. De boer komt kwaad aanstormen (met waarschijnlijk een > hooivork in zijn hand). Engelsman: keep quiet! > Boer: wat kiep kwait? Wel 10 kiepen kwait!:’-D This reminds me of one I heard in an English lesson when I was around 12. I hope I can reconstruct it. A tourist came to a small hotel in the Norwegian backland. The host spoke barely enough English to close the initial negotiations. Judging mainly by the surprised look on his face, he finally seemed to have understood that the tourist wanted clean sheets, and he called for the maid. She shook her head and went upstairs to prepare the room. After a few minutes the guest came down, boiling, and dragged the host to his room. He pointed at the bed. - What is this? - Diss iss jår sjit, sør. - Is it clean? - Jess, sør, vi hæv klint sjit hir diss morning! - Well, this smells like cow dung. - Jess, sør, fain sjit from aver kav. Dictionary: <klina> [kli:na] v. "smear", actually a cognate of English 'clean'. <skit> [Si:t] n. "dirt, sh.t", obvious cognate of english 'sh.t'. SignatureTrond Engen - sleeping anywhere > A tourist came to a small hotel in the Norwegian backland. The host > spoke barely enough English to close the initial negotiations. [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > vi hæv klint sjit hir diss morning! - Well, this smells like cow > dung. - Jess, sør, fain sjit from aver kav. Once, when staying in a hotel in Italy, and after searching for words in my tiny copy of "Teach Yourself Italian" - which I had never read until my arrival at the hotel - I went down to the lobby and asked "Posso avere del aqua nella mia camera?" (May I have some water in my room? I will not vouch for correct spelling or grammar.) The result was a long bilingual discussion, of which neither side understood very much, which was apparently about calling the plumber. Finally one of us hit on the word "botteglia" (bottle), and the problem was resolved. I hadn't expected language problems in this hotel. When I was checking in, the man in front of me asked the owner, in German, whether he understood German. The hotelier threw his arms wide and said "Parlo tutti!", which left me much relieved. The relief lasted only until my own check-in, when I struggled to understand why I was being asked to sleep on the piano. SignaturePeter Moylan http://www.pmoylan.org Please note the changed e-mail and web addresses. The domain eepjm.newcastle.edu.au no longer exists, and I can no longer receive mail at my newcastle.edu.au addresses. The optusnet address could disappear at any time. > Once, when staying in a hotel in Italy, and after searching for words in > my tiny copy of "Teach Yourself Italian" - which I had never read until [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > was apparently about calling the plumber. Finally one of us hit on the > word "botteglia" (bottle), and the problem was resolved. Trying to make bookings there by email has its hazards, too. I kept wondering why there were no replies until I found that a subject line of 'prenotazione camera' isn't a sure-fire indicator of one of those pharmaceutical spam emails. SignatureRegards John for mail: my initials plus a u e at tpg dot com dot au > A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you > cross a condom with a Torah? > > Answer- A safer Torah. (in Hebrew, sefer torah refers to Torah scroll.) > > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. Not quite bilingual, but maybe bi-dialectical. There was a Geordie (Northumbrian) at the Battle of Little Big Horn. When Custer heard the beating tom-toms, he informed his men, "the Indians have war drums!" "Thievin' bastards!" replied the Geordie. Paul > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. One about three kittens named Un, Deux, Trois. Very curious and mischievous. Tried to cross a stream in a paper boat, and Un, Deux, Trois cats sank. Gerry >> This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. > > One about three kittens named Un, Deux, Trois. Very curious and > mischievous. Tried to cross a stream in a paper boat, and > > Un, Deux, Trois cats sank. There's this from Fawlty Towers: Basil: It's been there since Monday, Sybil... Tuesday... Wednesday... Friday... Sat - [realizes Sybil is no longer there; goes across to Manuel who has come in carrying three breakfast trays] Manuel! There - is - too - much - butter - on - those - trays. Manuel: Que? Basil: There is too much butter on those trays. [he points to each tray in turn] Manuel: No, no, no, Senor! Basil: What? Manuel: Not 'on- those- trays'. No sir - 'uno dos tres.' Uno... dos... tres... Basil: No, no. Hay mucho burro alli! Manuel: Que? Basil: Hay... mucho... burro... alli! Manuel: Ah, mantequilla! Basil: What? Que? Manuel: Mantequilla. Burro is... is... [brays like a donkey] Basil: What? Manuel: Burro... [does more donkey imitations] Basil: Manuel, por favor... Manuel: Si, si... Sybil: [coming back in] What's the matter, Basil? Basil: Nothing, dear, I'm just dealing with it. Manuel: [to Sybil] He speak good... how do you say...? Sybil: English! Basil: Mantequilla... solamente... dos... Manuel: Dos? Sybil: [to Basil] Don't look at me. You're the one who's supposed to be able to speak it. [Basil angrily grabs the excess butter from the trays.] Basil: Two pieces! Two each! Arriba, arriba! [He waves his hand towards the bedrooms and Manuel runs off.] SignatureSkitt (in Hayward, California) http://www.geocities.com/opus731/ retrosorter (or somebody else of the same name) wrote thusly in message <1169582907.817049.34150@q2g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>: > A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you > cross a condom with a Torah? > > Answer- A safer Torah. (in Hebrew, sefer torah refers to Torah scroll.) > > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. The motto on the arms of the Prince of Wales is given in German, "Ich dien" ("I serve"). It was intended to sound similar to Welsh "Eich dyn" ("Your man"). SignatureTerms and conditions apply. Batteries not included. Subject to status. Contains moderate language. Always read the label. Keep out of children. Interchange the alphabetic letter groups to reply > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. Rock of Ages (better if told during Chanuka) Old Moze, an Israeli tour guide, was well-past retirement age but he continued to take older tourists to locations that were not too hard to get to. His customers always enjoyed these tours. You could ask any of them and they would literally sing his praises: "Moze's tour ya sure oughtta see." G \ D / G / C \ B \ A \ G (where \ means the next note is lower and / means it is higher) ciao, Israel "izzy" Cohen (author of this pun) Body Part Maps moderator http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/BPMaps/ > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns, Hebrew puns translated into English idioms These Hebrew expressions appear in other languages as idioms or nonsense. Special characters: @ = aleph, X = het, and 3 = aiyin. Type 1: The translation of a Hebrew pun on a Hebrew phrase Ex. 1: Clear text: B'QoSHi = barely, hardly, scarcely Heb. pun: B'3oR SHiNai (Job 19:20) English: (escape by the) skin of my teeth Ex. 2: Clear text: YaRa:aX GaVNooNi = gibbous moon Heb. pun: YaRoK G'ViNaH = green cheese English: The moon is made of "green cheese". Ex. 3: Clear text: PeLeTZ + K'Foo = shiver, tremble (compare English palsy) + frozen Heb. pun: P'LiZ + KoF English: brass monkey (weather) (Treating P as B in Arabic, P'LiZ KoF => balls (k)off ..., hence "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey") Ex. 4: Clear text: YeReKH yod-resh-khaf = buttock, haunch, thigh Heb. pun: YaRa:aX yod-resh-het = moon English: to moon = to expose one's buttocks as a prank or gesture of disrespect. Type 2: The translation of a Hebrew pun on a phrase in another language Ex. 5 Latin: sopor sond = sleep soundly/deeply Heb. pun: S'PoR TZo@N = count sheep (imperative) English: Count sheep (to go to sleep) Ex. 6 Latin: Saccharomyces cervisae = Brewer's yeast (an ancient hangover remedy) Heb. pun: Sa3aR MiNSHaKH KeLeV = hair bite dog (compare Gk Cerberus, the 3-headed dog guarding the entrance to Hades) English: Take "hair of the dog that bit you" (as a hangover remedy) Best regards, Israel "izzy" Cohen http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BPMaps > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. I don't believe this amounts to a pun, but "RIP" means the same in Latin and English. > A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you > cross a condom with a Torah? > > Answer- A safer Torah. (in Hebrew, sefer torah refers to Torah scroll.) > > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. Because I'm too lazy to type it out, I'll just cut and paste from <http://www.fi.muni.cz/usr/jkucera/humor4.htm>: > A man who speaks only Spanish goes into a small clothing store, with the > intention of purchasing a pair of socks. He does not know where the socks [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > Clerk: Well if you knew how to spell it, why didn't you say so, in the > first place? SignatureSML >A friend recently told me this one-liner: "What do you get when you > cross a condom with a Torah? > > Answer- A safer Torah. (in Hebrew, sefer torah refers to Torah scroll.) > > This got me wondering if anyone knows any other bilingual puns. Well, this is a bilingual pun in that the English and Chinese phrases have the same double meaning. It's from a sign on Taipei's subway advising people to grab the overhead straps when standing on the train. http://static.flickr.com/57/156552229_8e9456d3ea_m.jpg "La ziji yi ba" means "Get a grip" in both the literal and figurative senses. 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