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Discussion Groups / English Usage / January 2007No pets in the Afterlife
From today's Oxford Times: Couple banned from owning animals after death.  SignatureLaura (emulate St. George for email) On 26 Jan 2007, LFS wrote > From today's Oxford Times: Couple banned from owning animals > after death. At least they've answered the old question "Do dogs go to heaven?" SignatureCheers, Harvey Canadian and British English, indiscriminately mixed For e-mail, change harvey.news to harvey.van > From today's Oxford Times: Couple banned from owning animals after death. This will probably be appealed to St. Bernard. SignatureBlinky RLU 297263 Killing all posts from Google Groups The Usenet Improvement Project: http://blinkynet.net/comp/uip5.html > From today's Oxford Times: Couple banned from owning animals after death. I just read the article. To whom the couple have to pay costs of £3,564.74. by the way? Hiroshi Maeeda >> From today's Oxford Times: Couple banned from owning animals after death. >I just read the article. To whom the couple have to pay costs of £3,564.74. >by the way? I haven't read the article. It is possible that the costs are to be paid to an animal charity involved in the case. SignaturePeter Duncanson, UK (in alt.usage.english) >>> From today's Oxford Times: Couple banned from owning animals after >>> death. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > It is possible that the costs are to be paid to an animal charity > involved in the case. Thank you for answering my question. > >>> From today's Oxford Times: Couple banned from owning animals after > >>> death. [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > Peter Duncanson, UK > > (in alt.usage.english)Thank you for answering my question.- Hide quoted text -- Show quoted text - >From today's Oxford Times: Couple banned from owning animals after death. I'm sorry - who's died, the animals or the couple? Richard Lichten >> From today's Oxford Times: Couple banned from owning animals after >> death. > > I'm sorry - who's died, the animals or the couple? There's a custom in some countries to throw the entire family onto the funeral pyre, servants and pets included. In ancient Egypt, one's status in the afterlife depended on how many dead cats accompanied the deceased, so of course there was a lively market for cats. Apparently archaelogists have now discovered that some funeral directors cheated on the cats. There have been many examples found where, for example, half a cat had been crudely disguised as a whole cat; presumably this allowed the cat to be put on the bill of both families. SignaturePeter Moylan http://www.pmoylan.org Please note the changed e-mail and web addresses. The domain eepjm.newcastle.edu.au no longer exists, and I can no longer receive mail at my newcastle.edu.au addresses. The optusnet address could disappear at any time. > From today's Oxford Times: Couple banned from owning animals after death. As long as I get my 140 virgins, I don't care. Osama bin Drinkin' >> From today's Oxford Times: Couple banned from owning animals after >> death. > As long as I get my 140 virgins, I don't care. Osama bin Drinkin' Let me point out that every one of those virgins will have her face covered, to avoid arousing your uncontrollable animal lust. There seems to be a common belief that the description 'perpetual virgins' means that they keep getting their virginity back. This, of course, would be ludicrous. No, they're perpetual virgins because they're impregnable and unattainable. You can look forward to an eternity of temptation accompanied by frustration. SignatureOsama bin liner >> As long as I get my 140 virgins, I don't care. Osama bin Drinkin' > No, they're perpetual virgins because they're impregnable and.... Are you suggesting those Heavenly vestal virgins are on the pill? Purl Gurl >>> As long as I get my 140 virgins, I don't care. Osama bin Drinkin' > >> No, they're perpetual virgins because they're impregnable and.... > >Are you suggesting those Heavenly vestal virgins are on the pill? The real earthly Vestal Virgins served in the temple of Vesta for thirty years. After that they were free to leave their luxurious surroundings. I imagine that those who did leave came running down the steps of the temple more "on the pull" than "on the pill". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vestal_Virgins SignaturePeter Duncanson, UK (in alt.usage.english) >>>> As long as I get my 140 virgins, I don't care. Osama bin Drinkin' >>> No, they're perpetual virgins because they're impregnable and.... >> Are you suggesting those Heavenly vestal virgins are on the pill? > The real earthly Vestal Virgins served in the temple of Vesta for > thirty years. After that they were free to leave their luxurious > surroundings. I imagine that those who did leave came running down > the steps of the temple more "on the pull" than "on the pill". Cute! In my case, those Roman men would have to drag me up the steps of their temple to be a vestal virgin! Thirty years, not a chance. I struggle simply to refrain for three days. From your link, "...of Postumia, a Vestal Virgin who was put on trial for a sexual offense. Even though she was innocent, the fact that she dressed well and talked rather more freely and wittily than a young girl should, up to a point justified the suspicion against her. She was remanded, and afterwards acquitted, with a warning from the Pontifex Maximus, in the name of the college of priests, to stop making jokes and to dress in future with more regard to sanctity and less to elegance." Robert probably thinks me Postumia and himself, Pontifex Maximus! However, I am not a vestal virgin, have not been since, hmm, well, a very young age. Neither are you, the reader, a vestal virgin, female or male. Reminds me of this hilarious story of the Virgin Mother. Mary is a virgin and I am a one eyed purple people eater! Her story defies all natural laws, defies Mother Nature. I do not think so, nope, not a chance Mary is a virgin. This story of Roman vestal virgins is much in keeping with a long historical tradition of men effecting control over women. Should men have their way, we women would all be wearing chastity belts. Interesting, yes? Lots of chastity belts of history, for women, not a single mention of a chastity belt designed for men. Maybe scissors had not been invented yet, back then. Equally interesting, there are temples dedicated to vestal virgin women, no temples dedicated to vestal virgin men. Such hypocrisy! Purl Gurl >>>>> As long as I get my 140 virgins, I don't care. Osama bin Drinkin' > [quoted text clipped - 42 lines] > >Purl Gurl Swan vestas! Are they still around? >>> From today's Oxford Times: Couple banned from owning animals after >>> death. [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > they're impregnable and unattainable. You can look forward to an > eternity of temptation accompanied by frustration. I have a horrible feeling that those who reach heaven, whether a Christian, Muslim or some other concept of paradise, are going to discover that it's been taken over, not by saints, but by the very people you don't expect to see there. The first question will be "Have you got your Gold Card?"; you will be then be quietly escorted to the tourist class section which is strictly houri-less. SignatureRob Bannister On 27 Jan 2007, Robert Bannister wrote > I have a horrible feeling that those who reach heaven, whether a > Christian, Muslim or some other concept of paradise, are going [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > quietly escorted to the tourist class section which is strictly > houri-less. Saw a card today with a picture of heaven on the front: people with haloes and wings, floating around and chatting with one another. At the centre were two ash-grey pyramids -- with haloes -- and one of them says "If I'd known it was going to be like this, I wouldn't have chosen cremation". Made me smile... SignatureCheers, Harvey Canadian and British English, indiscriminately mixed For e-mail, change harvey.news to harvey.van >>>> From today's Oxford Times: Couple banned from owning animals after >>>> death. [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] >you got your Gold Card?"; you will be then be quietly escorted to the >tourist class section which is strictly houri-less. What will Bush do when he finds he has been assigned to Saddam's stoking gang? > On Fri, 26 Jan 2007 08:30:41 +0000, LFS > > <l...@DRAGONspira.fsbusiness.co.uk> wrote: > > From today's Oxford Times: Couple banned from owning animals after death.As long as I get my 140virgins, I don't care. > Osama bin Drinkin' What happens if number 69 says 'hello, I'm Mother Theresa'. Richard Lichten >> On Fri, 26 Jan 2007 08:30:41 +0000, LFS >> [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > What happens if number 69 says 'hello, I'm Mother Theresa'. Why did you say '69'? Signaturerzed > >> On Fri, 26 Jan 2007 08:30:41 +0000, LFS > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > -- > rzed It's somewhere midway between 1 and 140. Why, did you think I meant something else? Richard L |
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