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Discussion Groups / English Usage / January 2007Tunbridge Wells
I the book _A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian_ (fiction), the following appears: "It feels uncomfortable at first to step out of my soft-soled liberal shoes into the stilettos of Mrs Flog-'em-and-send-'em-home of Tunbridge Wells, but after a while the new shoes mould to my feet." The author mentions Tunbridge Wells in other places in a similar vein. What's a Mrs Flog-'em-and-send-'em-home of Tunbridge Wells when she's at home? How is she different from Mrs Flog-'em-and-send-'em-home of Ashton Upon Mersey?  SignatureTony Cooper Orlando, FL On 27 Jan 2007, Tony Cooper wrote > I the book _A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian_ (fiction), > the following appears: [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > when she's at home? How is she different from Mrs > Flog-'em-and-send-'em-home of Ashton Upon Mersey? "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" is the apocryphal sign-off for a certain type of letter to the editor. DOTW lives with the little old lady from Dubuque (sp?) and the man on the Clapham omnibus. SignatureCheers, Harvey Canadian and British English, indiscriminately mixed For e-mail, change harvey.news to harvey.van [snip] "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" is the apocryphal sign-off for a > certain type of letter to the editor. [snip] Would that certain type of letter be in the category of "Green Ink Brigage?" (Some say that such "GIB" really is a reference to Prince Charles' output). Aloha ~~~ Ozzie Maland ~~~ San On 27 Jan 2007, tinwhistler wrote > [snip] > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Ink Brigage?" (Some say that such "GIB" really is a reference > to Prince Charles' output). Not really: green-inkers are ranters. (The green-ink identifier long pre-dates Charles's missives; I first heard about it from a journalist friend in the late 1960s.) DOTW just objects to things like rudeness -- the word "knickers" should not be heard on the Home Service, nor seen on what has become the Barbaric Broadcasting Corporation. That sort of thing. SignatureCheers, Harvey Canadian and British English, indiscriminately mixed For e-mail, change harvey.news to harvey.van > On 27 Jan 2007, tinwhistler wrote > [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > long pre-dates Charles's missives; I first heard about it from a > journalist friend in the late 1960s.) It was well known by then in the Wonderful World of Social Security. Every office had its handful of obsessives (I'm speaking of customers here though the statement happens to be true of staff as well) who would never accept they had been fairly dealt with, no matter how many appeal hearings were held into their cases. And a subset of these wrote to complain weekly or more frequently using the aforesaid green ink. What was worse was that they tended to have very small writing which was all cramped together - possibly to save paper which shows they weren't necessarily as daft as people sometimes thought. I have a recollection that HM the Q is won't to write in purple ink. This matches her purple blotting paper and ensures that her private thoughts cannot be lifted off the blotting pad by a treacherous servant with a mirror. Whether she chose the ink to match the paper or the paper to match the ink or they came as a job lot I disremember. > DOTW just objects to things like rudeness -- the word "knickers" > should not be heard on the Home Service, nor seen on what has become > the Barbaric Broadcasting Corporation. That sort of thing. I'd say DOTW objects to many things and could, at a pinch, double as an editorial writer for the Daily Mail. I have a recollection that there was a song back in the 50s or 60s called "The Man from Tunbridge Wells". It was a spoof on, and used the tune of, "The Man from Laramie". Maybe it was the recently late Charlie Drake. Looked on-line for any evidence but all I could find was the Rutles: "The most exciting place in the world for sailors With the most exciting wicked naughty girls More exciting than a book of Norman Mailer's That's Tunbridge Wells!" But Tunbridge Wells could be disgusting as well as disgusted. Like the man said: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/tunbridge-wells/ " ... I'm informed these wells will make a barren Woman as fruitful as a cony warren." And Victor McLaglen was born in Tunbridge Wells. I bet he never told John Wayne. SignatureJohn Dean Oxford John Dean filted: >I have a recollection that there was a song back in the 50s or 60s called >"The Man from Tunbridge Wells". It was a spoof on, and used the tune of, [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >More exciting than a book of Norman Mailer's >That's Tunbridge Wells!" Not the Rutles, but a different group comprising the same people..."Twenty-Four Hours in Tunbridge Wells" was a parody of the movie "On the Town" starring Frank Sinatra, Gene Kelly, and The Other One, perpetrated as part of "Rutland Weekend Television"....r Signature"You got Schadenfreude on my Weltanschauung!" "You got Weltanschauung in my Schadenfreude!" >> On 27 Jan 2007, tinwhistler wrote >> [quoted text clipped - 51 lines] >And Victor McLaglen was born in Tunbridge Wells. I bet he never told John >Wayne. I'll also have you know that Tunbridge Wells borough residents are the second best recyclers in Kent! I know this for a fact because the council just fined a 12-year-old girl 50 quid for wilfully failing to dispose of a cardboard box properly, and the statistic was the proud response of the Tinbridge Wells "head of environment and street scene services." (The wheelie bin at the recycling plant was full so the callow sociopath propped it up against a nearby fence. The CSI team managed to track her down by a trace of salival DNA obtained from a discarded clump of chewed-out Juicy Fruit found near the crime scene. (OK, so I made that last bit up -- her name and address was written on the box -- but the rest is superbly true.) http://news.independent.co.uk/environment/article2190040.ece SignatureArchie Valparaiso (Me? I blame the weather.) >>> On 27 Jan 2007, tinwhistler wrote >>> [quoted text clipped - 68 lines] > >http://news.independent.co.uk/environment/article2190040.ece 'Miss Dustbin of Tunbridge Wells' then? Don. Archie Valparaiso filted: >I'll also have you know that Tunbridge Wells borough residents are the >second best recyclers in Kent! [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] >(OK, so I made that last bit up -- her name and address was written on >the box -- but the rest is superbly true.) Here we see the birth of a new form of Hayduking...one obtains a cardboard box, carefully writes the name and address of one's victim on it, and then places it in a conspicuous location and waits for "justice" to be done.... ("Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie; I *put* that envelope underneath that pile of garbage")....r Signature"You got Schadenfreude on my Weltanschauung!" "You got Weltanschauung in my Schadenfreude!" > I have a recollection that HM the Q is won't to write in purple ink. Overactive spelling-checker? SignatureSML >> I have a recollection that HM the Q is won't to write in purple ink. > > Overactive spelling-checker? Underactive owner of spelling-checker SignatureJohn Dean Oxford tony_cooper213@earthlink.net had it: > I the book _A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian_ (fiction), the > following appears: [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > at home? How is she different from Mrs Flog-'em-and-send-'em-home of > Ashton Upon Mersey? I was intending to correct you - in my experience the place is "Ashton on Mersey". I've never heard it called anything else and it's only about 10 miles from here. But I see that although the Golf Club is "Ashton on Mersey Golf Club", the school "Ashton on Mersey School" the cricket and tennis club "Ashton on Mersey Cricket and Tennis Club", the town is named "Ashton upon Mersey". Strange. The canonical "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" is a retired Colonel, writing to the Daily Telegraph. SignatureDavid ===== > The canonical "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" is a retired Colonel, > writing to the Daily Telegraph. . . . the point being that Tunbridge Wells is a pretty place, a town small enough to get about on foot, in a mild climate, with trains convenient for a day in London but not for daily commuting, thus an attractive place for retired people to resettle: and there are many. SignatureDon Phillipson Carlsbad Springs (Ottawa, Canada) >> The canonical "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" is a retired Colonel, >> writing to the Daily Telegraph. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >London but not for daily commuting, thus an attractive >place for retired people to resettle: and there are many. >> The canonical "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" is a retired Colonel, >> writing to the Daily Telegraph. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >London but not for daily commuting, thus an attractive >place for retired people to resettle: and there are many. Tunbridge Wells is in the heart of the commuter belt, at 50 minutes by train from London. Many people commute from much further out than that! Don. don.petter*remove*@suk.sas.com had it: > >> The canonical "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" is a retired Colonel, > >> writing to the Daily Telegraph. [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > train from London. Many people commute from much further out than > that! Indeed, I have a friend who commutes from a village 10 miles out of Bedford to Docklands. It must take him two hours from home to office in each direction. SignatureDavid ===== >don.petter*remove*@suk.sas.com had it: > [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] >Bedford to Docklands. It must take him two hours from home to office >in each direction. For a number of years my wife commuted from here in deepest Sussex to Westminster, involving a twenty mile drive to even get to the station (Haywards Heath). Also two hours each way. Don. > For a number of years my wife commuted from here in deepest Sussex to > Westminster, involving a twenty mile drive to even get to the station > (Haywards Heath). Also two hours each way. A friend of mine, now sadly passed away, worked on the Daily Telegraph and commuted for many years from Wells in Somerset. I can understand why his wife divorced this man she barely saw. SignatureRob Bannister > don.petter*remove*@suk.sas.com had it: > [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > Bedford to Docklands. It must take him two hours from home to office > in each direction. One of my nieces used to commute from Leicester. Now she's married, they've bought a house near Colchester, so she's a bit nearer work. SignatureRob Bannister In alt.usage.english, the Omrud wrote: >The canonical "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" is a retired Colonel, >writing to the Daily Telegraph. Here's one for the Colonel: The average salary of the European Commission's 22,657 employees in 2005 was EUR 159,465 (GBP 105,058). I can't find an average salary for the whole of Whitehall (UK civil service) in 2005 but the average salary at the Department of Culture, Media and Sport was EUR 49,018 (GBP 32,294). (The highest pay scale there was less than the EC's average pay scale.) In 2005, London was the world's third most expensive city to live in. Brussels was the 41st most expensive.* Disgusting! English usage? Er, er ... The canonical "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" letter was actually written by someone from Devon and was printed in the Evening Standard (and quoted as an epigraph in _The Henry Root Letters_). In full (from memory): Dear Sirs, I wish to complain in the strongest possible terms about absolutely everything. Yours faithfully, [Col. Bonkers or whoever] Will that do? *Sources: Christopher Booker (yes, I know) in the Sunday Telegraph; Hansard; CNN. SignatureV "If a student of mine were to hand in this report as a Masters thesis, perhaps if I were in a good mood I would give him a 'D' for diligence; but more likely I would give him an 'F' for fail." - Prof Richard Tol on the Stern Review In alt.usage.english, Vinny Burgoo wrote: >The average salary of the European Commission's 22,657 employees in >2005 was EUR 159,465 (GBP 105,058). Whoops! I used today's exchange rate. It was actually equivalent to about GBP 109,000. > I can't find an average salary for the whole of Whitehall (UK civil >service) in 2005 but the average salary at the Department of Culture, >Media and Sport was EUR 49,018 (GBP 32,294). About EUR 47, 000 (GBP 32,294). SignatureV "If a student of mine were to hand in this report as a Masters thesis, perhaps if I were in a good mood I would give him a 'D' for diligence; but more likely I would give him an 'F' for fail." - Prof Richard Tol on the Stern Review > The canonical "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" is a retired Colonel, > writing to the Daily Telegraph. Kenny Everett had a memorable characterisation of DTW back in the late-70s/early80s, which might neatly link this with the up-page sub-thread on cross-dressing, drag, etc. I couldn't find a good single image ... but these two serve to illustrate it for those not, erm, in the picture. http://images.radcity.net/5853/955590.jpg http://www.r2-dvd.org/pics/grabs/kenny/ke8.JPG Cuddly Ken is, I'm sure, well known antipondially, but are transpondians aware of him? Philip Eden (Actually, I think he was called "Angry of Mayfair" but I don't think that really matters.) "Philip Eden" <philipATweatherHYPHENukDOTcom> had it: > > The canonical "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" is a retired Colonel, > > writing to the Daily Telegraph. [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > (Actually, I think he was called "Angry of Mayfair" > but I don't think that really matters.) Kenny's apparel there marks the character as a City Gent. It seems to me that Disgusted would be wearing tweeds. SignatureDavid ===== >I the book _A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian_ (fiction), the >following appears: [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] >at home? How is she different from Mrs Flog-'em-and-send-'em-home of >Ashton Upon Mersey? She is a neighbour of "Disgusted" of Tunbridge Wells, who is the archetypal writter of letters to "The Times". SignatureSteve Hayes from Tshwane, South Africa Web: http://hayesfam.bravehost.com/stevesig.htm E-mail - see web page, or parse: shayes at dunelm full stop org full stop uk > >Mrs Flog-'em-and-send-'em-home of Tunbridge Wells Nobody has yet mentioned that she is named thus to indicate that she advocates the restoration of judicial corporal punishment (flogging with a cat-o'nine-tails, abolished in 1948) and also the forced deportation of coloured immigrants to their countries of origin. This would suggest that she is a member of, or sympathises with the section of the Conservative Party known as the "Hangers and floggers brigade" >> >Mrs Flog-'em-and-send-'em-home of Tunbridge Wells > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >would suggest that she is a member of, or sympathises with the section >of the Conservative Party known as the "Hangers and floggers brigade" Indeed, in the book the character who describes herself as "Mrs Flog-'em-and-send-'em-home of Tunbridge Wells" has decided to become militant in getting her father's new wife sent back to (the) Ukraine. SignatureTony Cooper Orlando, FL tony_cooper213@earthlink.net had it: > >> >Mrs Flog-'em-and-send-'em-home of Tunbridge Wells > > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > Flog-'em-and-send-'em-home of Tunbridge Wells" has decided to become > militant in getting her father's new wife sent back to (the) Ukraine. "A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian" then. Most amusing. SignatureDavid ===== >tony_cooper213@earthlink.net had it: >> Indeed, in the book the character who describes herself as "Mrs >> Flog-'em-and-send-'em-home of Tunbridge Wells" has decided to become >> militant in getting her father's new wife sent back to (the) Ukraine. > >"A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian" then. Most amusing. That's what he said, so we've come full circle. SignatureSteve Hayes from Tshwane, South Africa Web: http://hayesfam.bravehost.com/stevesig.htm E-mail - see web page, or parse: shayes at dunelm full stop org full stop uk hayesmstw@hotmail.com had it: > >tony_cooper213@earthlink.net had it: > >> Indeed, in the book the character who describes herself as "Mrs [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > That's what he said, so we've come full circle. Ah. Sorry. I've been away, trying to battle through the snow storms in Germany. SignatureDavid ===== >hayesmstw@hotmail.com had it: > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] >Ah. Sorry. I've been away, trying to battle through the snow storms >in Germany. On your way back from (the) Ukraine? SignatureSteve Hayes from Tshwane, South Africa Web: http://hayesfam.bravehost.com/stevesig.htm E-mail - see web page, or parse: shayes at dunelm full stop org full stop uk hayesmstw@hotmail.com had it: > >hayesmstw@hotmail.com had it: > > [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > On your way back from (the) Ukraine? Sadly no. Only from the snow-covered fields and stationary autobahn lanes of Swabia. SignatureDavid ===== >>> Mrs Flog-'em-and-send-'em-home of Tunbridge Wells > Nobody has yet mentioned that she is named thus to indicate that she > advocates the restoration of judicial corporal punishment (flogging > with a cat-o'nine-tails, abolished in 1948) and also the forced > deportation of coloured immigrants to their countries of origin. This > would suggest that she is a member of, or sympathises with the section > of the Conservative Party known as the "Hangers and floggers brigade" Opinion like that are now more likely to be found amongst the chavvy parts of Essex than delicate places like Tunbridge Wells. Matthew Huntbach > I the book _A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian_ (fiction), the > following appears: [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > at home? How is she different from Mrs Flog-'em-and-send-'em-home of > Ashton Upon Mersey? Tunbridge Wells is a prosperous middle sized town to the south-east of London. See: http://www.tunbridgewells.gov.uk/ for the website of its borough council. The countryside to the south of London is traditionally supposed to be the part of the country which is most strongly in support of the Conservative Party. Indeed, I note from the council website (click on "Council & Democracy") it has a large Conservative Party majority right now. "Tunbridge Wells" has for many years been a sort of codeword for any place in the strongly Conservative supporting south of England outside London. In fact in many of these places the Conservative Party has come under strong, and sometimes successful attack by the Liberal Democrats. I think even Tunbridge Wells has gone through a period when its council was LibDem controlled. This is an indication that the politics of these places is not quite so simple as the stereotype would have it. As I said, the sort of Conservative Party support which is associated with strong views on punishment and opposition to immigration is now more likely to be found in less prosperous and more urban areas. The current leader of the Conservative Party is trying to change its image by appealling to more liberal ideals (though he's been very fuzzy on actual policy), which I expect goes down well in places like Tunbridge Wells, and it's places like Romford (and Eltham where I now live - I've had a conversation with one of my Conservative councillors about this) where there's a fear that Cameronisation might drive supporters to right-wing fringe parties like UKIP and BNP. Matthew Huntbach |
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