Short conversation simulation, plz revise.

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boki.store@gmail.com - 30 Jul 2007 10:54 GMT

Hi All,

Please see below, I wrote a part of conversation from two people.
Please advice if there is anything wrong.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Title: Get more choices, more chances.
Body:
Did you ever think about the chance to meet a person who is perfect
match you ?

"Impossible! "

This is the same answer I heard thousand times.

I am not saying you will find someone who looks like Tom Cruise, and
he has so great background as prince Charles. If you are still
thinking of it, I think you must be better than Paris Hilton.

"Yeah, this is destiny, what pity things you can do ? "

"I can increase your chances by my software"

"Really? How ?"

" :) To see is to believe, contact me, let me show you the wonderful
world you should have. "
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

By the way, please don't really contact me for the chances.

Best regards,
Boki.

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Don Phillipson - 30 Jul 2007 11:13 GMT

> Please advice if there is anything wrong.
> . . .
> Did you ever think about the chance to meet a person who is perfect
> match you ?

This question is not grammatically correct (as
conventional parsing will show) and is not idiomatic
(as shown by usage.)

> "Yeah, this is destiny, what pity things you can do ? "

Same two points.

> " :) To see is to believe, contact me, let me show you the wonderful
> world you should have. "

Grammatically OK but unidiomatic. Usage patterns
demonstrate English prefers gerunds over infinitives
(cf. seeing is believing.)

Signature

Don Phillipson
Carlsbad Springs
(Ottawa, Canada)

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Farhad - 30 Jul 2007 12:57 GMT

On Jul 30, 1:54 pm, boki.st...@gmail.com wrote:

> Hi All,

You don't need to capitalize all the words in the salutation. Besides,
there is a comma missing between the two words.

> Please see below, I wrote a part of conversation from two people.
> Please advice if there is anything wrong.

The comma after "Please see below" should change into a period,
semicolon, or colon. You should have also said "part of a
conversation" rather than "a part of conversation". The preposition
most frequently used for conversation is "between". "From" is not
wrong here. However, it would be better to say "between". "Advice" is
a noun. You should have said "advise", which is a verb.

> Did you ever think about the chance to meet a person who is perfect
> match you ?

The definite article "the" stands out like a sore thumb in this
sentence. Using "a" would be much better. "Match" is countable noun.
Because it is a noun, it cannot precede a pronoun without an
intervening preposition. And because it is countable, it needs a
determiner preceding it. You should have said: "... who is a perfect
match for you?" Also remember: No space between the question mark and
the word it follows.

> "Impossible! "

What is that single space between the exclamation point and the second
quotation mark?

> This is the same answer I heard thousand times.

The use of simple present in the main clause (I am using the term
"main clause" in its traditional definition.) and simple past in the
subordinate clause seems to me rather unparallel. Change either "is"
into "was" or "heard" into "have heard". Besides, say "a thousand
times" or "thousands of times".

> I am not saying you will find someone who looks like Tom Cruise, and
> he has so great background as prince Charles. If you are still
> thinking of it, I think you must be better than Paris Hilton.

Who does the pronoun "he" refer to? Tom Cruise or Mr. Right? The
adverb "so" modifies adjectives or other adverbs. However, in your
sentence, it is modifying a noun phrase - that is, "great background".
You should have used the determiner "such" followed by "a" instead.

> "Yeah, this is destiny, what pity things you can do ? "

I can't understand what you mean by "what pity things you can do?".
But anyway, that sentence is totally ungrammatical. Check the word
"pity" in your dictionary to see how it is used in a sentence. Also,
what is that question mark at the end of the sentence?

> "I can increase your chances by my software"
>
> "Really? How ?"
>
> " :) To see is to believe, contact me, let me show you the wonderful
> world you should have. "

There are some idioms that leave some room for you to use them with
some variation. But also, there are some others that are fixed.
"Seeing is believing" is case in point. Boki, your use of commas are
too overextended. You use them almost everywhere. Sometimes, you use
them rightly. But most often, you use them where you should use
periods or other punctuation marks.

> By the way, please don't really contact me for the chances.

Oh, damn it! I was thinking of having any chances prior to seeing this
last sentence of yours. ;-)

Farhad

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boki.store@gmail.com - 30 Jul 2007 16:53 GMT

> On Jul 30, 1:54 pm, boki.st...@gmail.com wrote:
>
[quoted text clipped - 73 lines]
>
> Farhad

You really good, and I am appreciated. :)

Best regards,
Boki.

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Discussion Groups / English Usage / July 2007

Short conversation simulation, plz revise.