Discussion Groups / English Usage / December 2007

One of my friends is a teacher of English in China.  She recently sent
me some short essays in English by one of her students.  The senior
student is her favorite.  She asked me if this student were attending
an American high school,  what would his writing be ranked? Very poor,
poor, in the middle, or good?   I told her that it's not possible to
make judgment, because high schools in the U,.S. are different from
one another.  So are the teachers.  I am not a native speaker of
English, nor a teacher, but just a foreign student.

Then an idea came to me: why not post one of his essays to this
discussion group for comments. I am not soliciting free editing
service, but only want to know that whether native speakers of English
understand this essay, and how good or poor it is, when compared with
the writing of American high school students in general?   Thanks for
your time.

If this is not the right place for this posting, please let me know.
I will remove it from the list. Following is the essay:

quote

I like the works by the great French writer Honoré de Balzac very
much, and have been greatly shocked and moved by the fates of
characters in his novels.

Mme Beauseant in Le Pere Goriot is such a character. She enjoyed the
noblest status in the aristocratic society, but was deserted by her
lover for a dowry of eight hundred thousand francs. An episode in the
novel is profoundly impressive. In deep grief, Mme Beauseant was
determined to leave the aristocratic life forever.  She held a grand
farewell party.  At the party, gleaming with each other were
gentlemen's colored silk ribbons and medals on one hand, and ladies'
beautiful attires and jewels on the other. The scene was
overwhelmingly spectacular. In contrast, Mme Beauseant, the woman
protagonist, appeared miserable in a simple white dress. Her desolate
dismay was strikingly pronounced by the sumptuousness of the party. I
felt very sorry for her when reading came to this point. Mme Beauseant
was a ranking member of the society, but was still unable to take her
fate into her own hands. Her life was not happy at all. I wonder
whether a high social status brings happiness to people. The answer is
an uncertainty. In this regard, a person's attitude towards life might
be more important than the amount of money she owns.

Power of a fiction is in the experience of its characters. Big ups and
downs in the fate of characters in some fictions are tremendously
amazing. And more shockingly, that like mirrors, these characters
reflect the true colors of people in reality, which makes me to think
over in depth.

unquote