> Dear Donna Richoux,
>
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>
> Thank you very much for your kind attention.
In those messages in the archives, Rushtown (rushtown@aol.com) said some
pretty clear things, beginning with a paraphrase:
>> I am deeply moved by a saying which expresses the emotions of a
bereaved
>> child who cannot thank his parents for his successful career.
>>
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>> life's goals---and their parents do not expect this. They just show
>> gratitude.
I'm not sure what else you are asking. My impression is that notions of
"filial piety" (gratitude to one's parents) is very important and very
basic in Chinese culture. So probably, yes, the idea of one's parents
dying before one can express enough gratitude to them is probably an
idea that would be more powerful and tragic to other Chinese people than
to Westerners.
In the West, we like to be on good terms with those who are dying, we
tend to want them to forgive us for wrongs we've done them, and for them
to know that we love them. We do want them to know that we are grateful
for everything good they've done for us. So there's some overlap there,
we are not total strangers to the notion of being grateful to one's
parents! But it may be a weaker feeling than it is to you.
Could you maybe tell us what that proverb was that started the whole
idea? It just came across as meaningless symbols here. Perhaps you could
translate it word-for-word into English. Even if it doesn't quite make
sense, maybe it will convey some image or emotion.

Signature
Best wishes -- Donna Richoux