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Discussion Groups / English Usage / March 2008THE VOTE IS IN -- All-Time Greatest PoemL
< > WORLD POETRY CONTEST RESULTS > (At Long Last, the All-Time Favorite Poem) < > THE RUNNER-UP < > "I'M NOBODY! WHO ARE YOU?" > By Emily Dickinson < I'm nobody! Who are you? Are you nobody, too? Then there's a pair of us -- don't tell! They'd banish us, you know. < How dreary to be somebody! How public, like a frog To tell your name the live-long day To an admiring bog! < (P.S. During a seance, Emily admitted she goofed and really meant to write Blog.). < ============== < > AND THE WINNER IS... < Maestro, a drum roll, PLEASE! http://www.nurple.com/sideshow/ < > "PUSHING UP DAISIES" > By Ed Conrad < Ed's dead, you said! I hope it's true. It's time for celebration He's squeezed our balls 'Til black and blue And I've run out of medication. < > (With an evolutionist's picture to prove it!) < http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d4/Scrotum_by_David_Shankbone.jpg < These poets were also-rans (good stuff but just not good enough. They'll try again next year, <. Elizabeth Barrett Browning Lewis Carroll e e cummings Emily Dickinson Robert Frost Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Edgar Allan Poe William Shakespeare Alfred Lord Tennyson Henry David Thoreau Walt Whitman William Butler Yeats < ============================ < > MAN AS OLD AS COAL > (Discoveries Between Anthracite Veins) < http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SaveTheWhale.jpg < http://www.edconrad.com/pics/OldestHumanSkull.JPG http://www.edconrad.com/pics/edkrog.jpg http://www.edconrad.com/pics/z11calv.jpg http://www.edconrad.com/pics/skullb.jpg http://www.edconrad.com/pics/FirstDiscovery.jpg http://www.edconrad.com/pics/HumanBrain.jpg http://www.edconrad.com/pics/OldestTool.jpg http://www.edconrad.com/pics/TestResults.jpg http://www.edconrad.com/pics/PetrifiedPP.jpg http://www.edconrad.com/pics/MoreFossils.jpg http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Scorpion.jpg < Ed Conrad http://www.edconrad.com Man as Old as Coal and Proof of Life After Death < NOTICE: All deliveries in the rear. http://www.edconrad.com/pics/TightFit.jpg < ==================== < (cc) New York Times Daily News Post Newsday Newsweek USA Today Wall Street Journal Time Nation President George Bush War in Iraq CBS talk.origins David Iain Greig Heaven Hell ABC NBC MSNBC Larry King CNN Keith Olbermann Fox News Rupert Murdoch Bill O'Reilly PBS BBC Lou Dobbs Chris Matthews Brian Williams Katie Couric Charles Gibson White House Billy Meier Intelligent Design Bill Moyers Keith Olbermann Stephen Colbert Jon Stewart Hubble Evolution Stephen Hawking Evolution Charles Darwin Rush Limbaugh Intelligent Design Bill Moyers UFO Penn State sci.bio sci.med Bill Gates London News of the World New England Journal of Medicine Smithsonian Yomiuri Shimbun Asahi Shimbun Bild Germany The Sun London alt alt.obituaries The View The Nation 60 Minutes Oprah Winfrey Rosie O'Donnell Meet the Press Nightline Anderson Cooper Jerry Falwell Christianity Hinduism Islam Judaism Buddhism Sikhism L'Osservatore Romano Vatican Pope Benedict Republican Democrat American Association of Physical Anthropology Evolutionisists Funeral Life After Life Lucifer Reading Eagle Harrisburg Patriot-News Allentown Cll Disney History Channel Philadelphia Inquirer Meet the Press Extraterrestrial Bull! Here's the best poem ever written: I have two ducks, one blue, one black And when the blue duck goes Quack Quack The black duck quickly quack-quacks back! So while the blue's a quicker quacker, The black's a quicker quacker-backer. > < >> WORLD POETRY CONTEST RESULTS [quoted text clipped - 103 lines] > Lucifer Reading Eagle Harrisburg Patriot-News Allentown Cll Disney > History Channel Philadelphia Inquirer Meet the Press Extraterrestrial Mary had a little lamb His fleece was black as soot And everywhere that lambie went His sooty foot he put. --Larry Fine >Mary had a little lamb >His fleece was black as soot >And everywhere that lambie went >His sooty foot he put. > >--Larry Fine 'See that spider on the wall. That is all folks, that is all' >>Mary had a little lamb >>His fleece was black as soot [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >'See that spider on the wall. >That is all folks, that is all' 'twas a cold and wint'ry night. A man stood on the street. His aged eyes were full of tears. His boots were full of feet.  SignatureWCdnE > 'twas a cold and wint'ry night. > A man stood on the street. > His aged eyes were full of tears. > His boots were full of feet. It's an older image than I had realized: A poor old woman decrepit and gray, Was bent with the chill of a winter's day; The streets were filled with snow and sleet, And the woman's shoes were full of feet. J. Melville Janson, _Encyclopedia of Comedy_, 1895 SignatureEvan Kirshenbaum +------------------------------------ HP Laboratories |If you think health care is 1501 Page Mill Road, 1U, MS 1141 |expensive now, wait until you see Palo Alto, CA 94304 |what it costs when it's free. | P.J. O'Rourke kirshenbaum@hpl.hp.com (650)857-7572 http://www.kirshenbaum.net/ >>>Mary had a little lamb >>>His fleece was black as soot [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] >His aged eyes were full of tears. >His boots were full of feet. I stood on the bridge at midnight When a thought ran through my head What a fool I was to be standing here When I could be snug and warm in bed. > Mary had a little lamb > His fleece was black as soot > And everywhere that lambie went > His sooty foot he put. > > --Larry Fine Back in the 1960s, that third line was "And into Mary's bread and jam". Anyway, for a followup you can have this one: Mary had a little lamb And it was always gruntin' She tied it to a five-bar gate And kicked its little c*** in. (MAD magazine, IIRC) SignaturePeter Moylan, Newcastle, NSW, Australia. http://www.pmoylan.org For an e-mail address, see my web page. >> Mary had a little lamb >> His fleece was black as soot [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > (MAD magazine, IIRC)\ MAD Magazine? Isn't that doubtful? Or has the magazine gotten more risque over the years? SignatureMaria C. >> Back in the 1960s, that third line was "And into Mary's bread and >> jam". Anyway, for a followup you can have this one: [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > MAD Magazine? Isn't that doubtful? Or has the magazine gotten more > risque over the years? Well, I did add "IIRC". Now I'm starting to suspect that I didn't RC. Another possibility is a book put out by the Monty Python team. SignaturePeter Moylan, Newcastle, NSW, Australia. http://www.pmoylan.org For an e-mail address, see my web page. >>> Back in the 1960s, that third line was "And into Mary's bread and >>> jam". Anyway, for a followup you can have this one: [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] >Well, I did add "IIRC". Now I'm starting to suspect that I didn't RC. >Another possibility is a book put out by the Monty Python team. That sounds more likely. SignatureWCdnE >>> Back in the 1960s, that third line was "And into Mary's bread and >>> jam". Anyway, for a followup you can have this one: [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] >Well, I did add "IIRC". Now I'm starting to suspect that I didn't RC. >Another possibility is a book put out by the Monty Python team. It was, I have it at home somewhere. It was either the Papperbok or the Big Red Book. SignatureRichard Bollard Canberra Australia To email, I'm at AMT not spAMT. >> Mary had a little lamb >> His fleece was black as soot [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > (MAD magazine, IIRC) My CD set goes up to 1998, and the only references I can find don't have that version. SignatureWCdnE There was a young dancer called Gloria, Who was had by Sir Gerald Du Maurier Jack Hylton, Jack Payne, Jack Hylton again And the band at the Brixton Astoria. (You have to be of a certain age to recognize those names) Dave in Toronto >There was a young dancer called Gloria, >Who was had by Sir Gerald Du Maurier [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > >(You have to be of a certain age to recognize those names) And have worn a Trilby! >> There was a young dancer called Gloria, >> Who was had by Sir Gerald Du Maurier [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > And have worn a Trilby! The version I know differs in the last 3 lines; ...By Augustus John And a waiter called Ron And the band at the Waldorf Astoria -- a bit classier, don't you think? Oleg Lego filted: >>> Mary had a little lamb >>> His fleece was black as soot >>> And everywhere that lambie went >>> His sooty foot he put. >>> >>> --Larry Fine Sure that wasn't Ish Kabibble?... >>Back in the 1960s, that third line was "And into Mary's bread and jam". >>Anyway, for a followup you can have this one: [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] >My CD set goes up to 1998, and the only references I can find don't >have that version. Mary had a little lamb It was one of the largest They caught her with it late one night And brought her up on charges. (and then I wrote:) Mary had a little lamb And nothing much besides She brought it to the county fair And got on all the rides For Mary was a clever girl Both in and out of bed And the guys who didn't sample her Took on the sheep instead. ....r SignatureWhat good is being an executive if you never get to execute anyone? >Oleg Lego filted: >> [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] >And the guys who didn't sample her >Took on the sheep instead. One from my childhood. Mary had a little lamb, A little pork, a little jam, An ice cream soda topped with fizz, And Oh, how sick our Mary is. SignatureWCdnE >>Oleg Lego filted: >> [quoted text clipped - 43 lines] > An ice cream soda topped with fizz, > And Oh, how sick our Mary is. Mary had a little Lamb, some lobster and some prunes. A glass of milk, a piece of pie, and then some macaroons. It made the naughty waiters grin to see her order so... for when they carried Mary out: her face was white as snow!!! Signature"The power of the Executive to cast a man into prison without formulating any charge known to the law, and particularly to deny him the judgment of his peers, is in the highest degree odious and is the foundation of all totalitarian government whether Nazi or Communist." - Winston Churchill, Nov. 21, 1943 > Mary had a little lamb > And it was always gruntin' > She tied it to a five-bar gate > And kicked its little c*** in. > (MAD magazine, IIRC) As other people have pointed out, that seems to have been printed first in one of the Monty Python books in the early 70s. I remember it from primary school about ten years before that; it's folklore. ==== j a c k at c a m p i n . m e . u k === <http://www.campin.me.uk> ==== Jack Campin, 11 Third St, Newtongrange EH22 4PU, Scotland == mob 07800 739 557 CD-ROMs and free stuff: Scottish music, food intolerance, and Mac logic fonts > >>Oleg Lego filted: > [quoted text clipped - 63 lines] > > - Show quoted text - Mary had a little lamb But though it was a llama So she changed for hope Then hoped to change The lamb into Obama. pink > > >>Oleg Lego filted: > [quoted text clipped - 75 lines] > > - Show quoted text - Mary had a little lamb The lamb, a barn to sit in But when the little lamb emerged The President was Clinton. pink > Mary had a little Lamb, > some lobster and some prunes. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > for when they carried Mary out: > her face was white as snow!!! (And Mary was sure to go.) Kudos! Or, at the very least, one kudo. That's the best version yet in this thread. SignaturePeter Moylan, Newcastle, NSW, Australia. http://www.pmoylan.org For an e-mail address, see my web page. > Oleg Lego filted: > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Sure that wasn't Ish Kabibble?... I don't know. I read someplace that The Late Mr Fine used to recite that as part of his Vaudeville act before he "upgraded" to being a stooge. Where he got it I don't know. > Mary had a little lamb > His fleece was black as soot > And everywhere that lambie went > His sooty foot he put. > > --Larry Fine mary had a little sheep with whom she always used to sleep the sheep turned out to be a ram mary had a little lamb.. |
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