 |
 | Home | Contact Us | FAQ | Search & Site Map | Link to Us |
 | Sign In | Join | Other 45 Sites in Network |
| HomeDiscussion GroupsEnglish UsageBritish EnglishESL Teaching Learnglish.com Contact UsLink To UsSearch & Site Map |
Discussion Groups / English Usage / August 2008SDC for idiots
If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do you have? (I keep seeing that question on a nuisance screen that keeps popping up in my browser.)  SignatureHerominous Boss | Perspicacious people, in order to produce Planet Earth | perspicuous prose, will perspicaciously Milky Way Galaxy | eschew 'perspicuous' when they mean | 'perspicacious'. >If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do >you have? If an airplane crashes precisely on the border between North Dakota and South Dakota, in which state will the survivors be buried? >>If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do >>you have? > >If an airplane crashes precisely on the border between North Dakota >and South Dakota, in which state will the survivors be buried? Say you take your airplane for a solo flight with this flight plan: Fly north 100 miles at 200 miles per hour. Turn east and fly 100 miles, reducing speed to 150 mph. Turn south and fly 300 miles, again at 200 mph. Turn west and fly 50 miles, again at 150 mph. Make a U-turn and fly east 50 miles at 150 mph. Fly north 300 miles at 200 mph. Fly west 100 miles at 150 mph. Fly south 100 miles at 200 mph. What's the pilot's name? SignatureBob Cunningham, aka Sparky, aka Woody Wordpecker, Greater Los Angeles, California, USofA Western American English Bob Cunningham filted: >>>If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do >>>you have? [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > >What's the pilot's name? In a pasture is a baby bull...the papa bull is fifty yards to the east...the mama bull is fifty yards to the west...if you approach from the north and frighten the baby bull, will it run to the papa bull or the mama bull?... (http://www.cartalk.com/content/read-on/2008/08.23.2.html)....r SignatureEvelyn Wood just looks at the pictures. >Bob Cunningham filted: >> [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] >mama bull is fifty yards to the west...if you approach from the north and >frighten the baby bull, will it run to the papa bull or the mama bull?... Yes. SignatureBob Cunningham, aka Sparky, aka Woody Wordpecker, Greater Los Angeles, California, USofA Western American English In alt.usage.english, R H Draney wrote: >In a pasture is a baby bull...the papa bull is fifty yards to the east...the >mama bull is fifty yards to the west... The *what* is fifty yards to the west? SignatureMike Barnes Cheshire, England > In a pasture is a baby bull...the papa bull is fifty yards to the > east...the mama bull is fifty yards to the west...if you approach > from the north and frighten the baby bull, will it run to the papa > bull or the mama bull?... It will run to the bull with the tits. >> In a pasture is a baby bull...the papa bull is fifty yards to the >> east...the mama bull is fifty yards to the west...if you approach >> from the north and frighten the baby bull, will it run to the papa >> bull or the mama bull?... > It will run to the bull with the tits. They do 'ave 'em in _Barnyard_, a very strange animated film apparently intended to further confuse the children. Or else it's hormones in the kibble. http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2961152256/tt0414853 (the one on the left) CDB filted: >>> In a pasture is a baby bull...the papa bull is fifty yards to the >>> east...the mama bull is fifty yards to the west...if you approach [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] >http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2961152256/tt0414853 >(the one on the left) Guess that's the flip side of this song by Dana Lyons: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IJBbtkBMMs ....r SignatureEvelyn Wood just looks at the pictures. [packing an uzi] > Guess that's the flip side of this song by Dana Lyons: > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IJBbtkBMMs Much thanks. I have a friend with a fondness for boviana, and I'm sending her the URL right away. In return, had hoped to link you to an old favourite Gilbert Shelton cartoon, from _Feds n Heads_, but no luck. You'll just have to remember the pictures, or imagine them. I was born down SOUTH on a CHICKEN FARM near Mashville, TENNESSEE. 'Tweren't nobody there but a sky full of air, seventeen billion CHICKENS and ME And then one day, I said "Hey, hey, HEY, think I'll DROP a little LSD." It BLEW my MIND. I got real KIND. And I set my CHICKENS FREE! And there was chickens in the PASTURE, Chickens in the BARN, Chickens in the CAULIFLOWER, & chickens in the CORN; CHICKENS drivin' CADILLACS to WASHINGTON, D.C., ~WHEN I SET MY CHICKENS FREE! >>> In a pasture is a baby bull...the papa bull is fifty yards to the >>> east...the mama bull is fifty yards to the west...if you approach [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > apparently intended to further confuse the children. Or else it's > hormones in the kibble. Ah, yes - that film is in our collection. My husband and I favoured the explanation that Dad was really Mum with an extraordinarily deep voice and Son was just a very confused young heifer. Or so we told our youngest child. (I don't think he believed us.) >> If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do >> you have? > If an airplane crashes precisely on the border between North Dakota > and South Dakota, in which state will the survivors be buried? Those survivors will be buried in a state of absolute panic and none will give a sh.t about how many apples they have. SignaturePurl Gurl -- So many are stumped by what slips right off the top of my mind like a man's bad fitting hairpiece. >>If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do >>you have? > >If an airplane crashes precisely on the border between North Dakota >and South Dakota, in which state will the survivors be buried? The state of having kicked the bucket. SignatureRobin (BrE) Herts, England >>>If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do >>>you have? [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > >The state of having kicked the bucket. The survivors??? Signature************* DAVE HATUNEN (hatunen@cox.net) ************* * Tucson Arizona, out where the cacti grow * * My typos & mispellings are intentional copyright traps * >>>>If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do >>>>you have? [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > >The survivors??? Eventually. >If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do >you have? > >(I keep seeing that question on a nuisance screen that keeps popping >up in my browser.) What if you put away three? SignatureJohn > > If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do > > you have? [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > What if you put away three? You make applesauce! Brian SignatureIf televison's a babysitter, the Internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up. -- Dorothy Gambrell (http://catandgirl.com) > If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do > you have? Which word in this sentence is spelt wrong: colour, center or meter? >> If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do >> you have? >Which word in this sentence is spelt wrong: colour, center or meter? "Spelt" is spelled wrong. SignatureHerominous Boss | Perspicacious people, in order to produce Planet Earth | perspicuous prose, will perspicaciously Solar System | eschew 'perspicuous' when they mean Milky Way Galaxy | 'perspicacious'. >>> If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do >>> you have? > >>Which word in this sentence is spelt wrong: colour, center or meter? > > "Spelt" is spelled wrong. is it? >>>> If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do >>>> you have? [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > >is it? No, 'it' is spelled right. In alt.usage.english, Herominous Boss wrote: >>>>> If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do >>>>> you have? [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > >No, 'it' is spelled right. And here's me thinking that "it" was spelt "it". SignatureMike Barnes Cheshire, England Herominous Boss filted: >>Which word in this sentence is spelt wrong: colour, center or meter? "Wrong"....r SignatureEvelyn Wood just looks at the pictures. >Herominous Boss filted: >> (Nothing Mr Boss filted is quoted) >> (Peter Morris said:) >>>Which word in this sentence is spelt wrong: colour, center or meter? > >"Wrong"....r "Wrong", right? >>> If there are five apples and you take away three, how many apples do >>> you have? > >>Which word in this sentence is spelt wrong: colour, center or meter? > >"Spelt" is spelled wrong. Wrong. SignatureLinz Wet Yorks via Cambridge, York, London and Watford My accent may vary Herominous Boss set the following eddies spiralling through the space-time continuum: > On Sat, 30 Aug 2008 04:26:44 GMT, "Peter Morris" > <no_spam@peter.co.uk> wrote: [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > "Spelt" is spelled wrong. Not in BrE which would object only to "center". "Meter" is valid but it is a measuring device not a unit of length or a stress pattern in poetry. Signatureξ:) Proud to be curly Interchange the alphabetic letter groups to reply > Herominous Boss set the following eddies spiralling through the space-time > continuum: [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > Not in BrE which would object only to "center". "Meter" is valid but it is a > measuring device not a unit of length or a stress pattern in poetry. Why the 'o' in speedometer, thermometer or tachometer? Speedmeter or tachmeter seem Ok, but thermmeter seems cumbersome. |
Reply to this Message |
 Sign In
 Join
 My Latest Posts My Monitored Threads My Blog My Photo Gallery My Profile My Homepage Start New Thread Enable EMail Alerts Rate this Thread
|
©2012 Advenet LLC Privacy Policy - Terms of Use
This website includes both content owned or controlled by Advenet as well as content owned or controlled by third parties.