Discussion Groups / English Usage / May 2009

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. (AP) - An Indiana lawmaker says he plans
     to sponsor a bill next session that would bar men from
     applying spray-on tans to female juveniles at tanning salons.

     Republican state Rep. Bruce Borders of Jasonville, says he
     was shocked by a recent case where a man who works at a Linton
     tanning salon applied a spray-on tan on a nude 15-year-old girl.
     The girl had forged a note from her mother.

     The girl's mother found out her daughter didn't need her permission
     nor is there any statute to prevent a juvenile from being nude
     inside a spray-tan booth with a male technician....

http://www.fox28.com/Global/story.asp?S=10316592

Hooray for Congressperson Borders! He borders on illiterate.

Wording of his bill will "protect" _female_ minors but not
_male_ minors. Wording of his bill will allow a nude female
minor to be spray painted while the painter is also female.

No word if male minors can be spray painted by a female painter.

A presumption is painters of either sex can be nude. Sure would
save clothes from being stained with brown sugar.

No surprise our laws rarely make sense; illiterate authors.

Couple of comical notions. Most obvious is a kid, who is suddenly
dark brown, coming home and not expecting anyone to notice.

This is in keeping with a "forged note" from mother while
mother does not need to give permission. DUH!

How did mom discover her girl has no tan lines?

I am one of the fortunates. I do not need to be spray painted.
I am already a socially correct color; deep brown.

Tell ya, you white folks, what you will not do to look like me.