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Discussion Groups / English Usage / July 2009Police at sea?
A message has just arrived from the local police via our Neighboorhood Watch coordinator. It alerts readers to a recent burglary in the area in which the intruder was chased away, leaving behind clues to his identity. "Police do know who the offender is but so far have been unable to locate him, but rest ashore they will catch up with him."  SignatureLaura (emulate St. George for email) Quoth LFS <laura@DRAGONspira.fsbusiness.co.uk>, and I quote: >A message has just arrived from the local police via our Neighboorhood >Watch coordinator. It alerts readers to a recent burglary in the area in >which the intruder was chased away, leaving behind clues to his identity. > >"Police do know who the offender is but so far have been unable to >locate him, but rest ashore they will catch up with him." One thing is foreshore: The offender won't show himself until he knows the coast is clear. SignatureJames >Quoth LFS <laura@DRAGONspira.fsbusiness.co.uk>, and I quote: > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] >One thing is foreshore: The offender won't show himself until he >knows the coast is clear. This is sure to result in a tidal wave of puns. SignatureTony Cooper - Orlando, Florida Quoth tony cooper <tony_cooper213@earthlink.net>, and I quote: >>Quoth LFS <laura@DRAGONspira.fsbusiness.co.uk>, and I quote: >> [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > >This is sure to result in a tidal wave of puns. What a bore! SignatureJames James Hogg skrev: > >>>"Police do know who the offender is but so far have been unable to > >>>locate him, but rest ashore they will catch up with him." > >>One thing is foreshore: The offender won't show himself until he > >>knows the coast is clear. > >This is sure to result in a tidal wave of puns. > What a bore! We'll sea about that. SignatureBertel, Denmark > James Hogg skrev: > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > We'll sea about that. Don't be so eagre! SignatureNoel >> James Hogg skrev: >> [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] >> >> We'll sea about that. > Don't be so eagre! I think I'll wave goodbye. With best wishes, Peter. SignaturePeter Young, (BrE), Consultant Anaesthetist, 1975-2004. (US equivalent: Attending Anesthesiologist) Cheltenham and Gloucester, UK. Now happily retired. http://pnyoung.orpheusweb.co.uk > >> James Hogg skrev: > [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > I think I'll wave goodbye. After all that, I'm fit to be tide. -- Jerry Friedman >>>>>>>> "Police do know who the offender is but so far have been >>>>>>>> unable to locate him, but rest ashore they will catch up with >>>>>>>> him." >>>>>>> One thing is foreshore: The offender won't show himself until >>>>>>> he knows the coast is clear. >>>>>> This is sure to result in a tidal wave of puns. >>>>> What a bore! >>>> We'll sea about that. >>> Don't be so eagre! >> I think I'll wave goodbye. > After all that, I'm fit to be tide. This current thread is getting Scilly. SignatureMark Brader, Toronto "Beware the Calends of April also." msb@vex.net -- Peter Neumann Mark Brader skrev: > >>>>>>>> "Police do know who the offender is but so far have been > >>>>>>>> unable to locate him, but rest ashore they will catch up with > >>>>>>>> him." > >>>>>>> One thing is foreshore: The offender won't show himself until > >>>>>>> he knows the coast is clear. > >>>>>> This is sure to result in a tidal wave of puns. > >>>>> What a bore! > >>>> We'll sea about that. > >>> Don't be so eagre! > >> I think I'll wave goodbye. > > After all that, I'm fit to be tide. > This current thread is getting Scilly. Apparently the flow won't stop. SignatureBertel, Denmark >Mark Brader skrev: > [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > >Apparently the flow won't stop. Swell, ain't it! SignatureKaty Jennison spamtrap: remove the first two letters after the @ On 03 Jul 2009, Wood Avens wrote >> Mark Brader skrev: >> [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > > Swell, ain't it! The main thing is that it's groyne to continue. SignatureCheers, Harvey CanEng and BrEng, indiscriminately mixed >Mark Brader skrev: > [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > >Apparently the flow won't stop. Send the marines in. SignatureRobin (BrE) Herts, England Quoth Robin Bignall <docrobin@ntlworld.com>, and I quote: >>Mark Brader skrev: >> [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > >Send the marines in. Now that all the good puns have been used up (I particularly liked "eagre"), we can't beach oosy. You ask for the marines but soon armies will wash us away. SignatureJames >Quoth Robin Bignall <docrobin@ntlworld.com>, and I quote: > [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > >You ask for the marines but soon armies will wash us away. "War is hell" is rippling through my mind. SignatureRobin (BrE) Herts, England >A message has just arrived from the local police via our Neighboorhood >Watch coordinator. It alerts readers to a recent burglary in the area in >which the intruder was chased away, leaving behind clues to his identity. > >"Police do know who the offender is but so far have been unable to >locate him, but rest ashore they will catch up with him." I don't like to do this to you, but unbidden to my lips sprang "My bobby lies over the ocean ..." SignatureKaty Jennison spamtrap: remove the first two letters after the @ > A message has just arrived from the local police via our Neighboorhood > Watch coordinator. It alerts readers to a recent burglary in the area in > which the intruder was chased away, leaving behind clues to his identity. > > "Police do know who the offender is but so far have been unable to > locate him, but rest ashore they will catch up with him." In a similar "vain": The production company that is going to be filming a TV commercial in my neighborhood next week sent a note to each household notifying them of when they would be working, where their trucks would be located, and who to complain to in city hall if there were problems. The notes were addressed using the form: To: The residence of 123 Elm St. SignatureRoland Hutchinson He calls himself "the Garden State's leading violist da gamba," ... comparable to being ruler of an exceptionally small duchy. --Newark (NJ) Star Ledger ( http://tinyurl.com/RolandIsNJ ) >> A message has just arrived from the local police via our Neighboorhood >> Watch coordinator. It alerts readers to a recent burglary in the area in [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > To: The residence of 123 Elm St. There's a notice on the wall near where we keep the boat that says "residence parking only". I've always assumed it was dictated over the phone. Differently, but equally entertaining, they've put up some big banners advertising some new houses they're building down the road. There are a couple of internal views of pople in posh kitchens etc, each of which has superimposed on it the words "photo caption in italics". In italics, of course. SignatureOnline waterways route planner: http://canalplan.org.uk development version: http://canalplan.eu Nick wrote... > ...There are a couple of internal views of pople in posh kitchens > etc, each of which has superimposed on it the words "photo caption > in italics". In italics, of course. What does pople look like from the inside? SignatureNoel Ildhund filted: >Nick wrote... >> ...There are a couple of internal views of pople in posh kitchens >> etc, each of which has superimposed on it the words "photo caption >> in italics". In italics, of course. > >What does pople look like from the inside? "Here is the church, here is the steeple"....r SignatureA pessimist sees the glass as half empty. An optometrist asks whether you see the glass more full like this?...or like this? > Ildhund filted: >> [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > "Here is the church, here is the steeple"....r The Pope'll have something to say about the design of that stople, I fancy. SignatureRoland Hutchinson He calls himself "the Garden State's leading violist da gamba," ... comparable to being ruler of an exceptionally small duchy. --Newark (NJ) Star Ledger ( http://tinyurl.com/RolandIsNJ ) Roland Hutchinson filted: >> Ildhund filted: >>> [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > >The Pope'll have something to say about the design of that stople, I fancy. Not if there's an estoppel....r SignatureA pessimist sees the glass as half empty. An optometrist asks whether you see the glass more full like this?...or like this? >>> A message has just arrived from the local police via our Neighboorhood >>> Watch coordinator. It alerts readers to a recent burglary in the area in [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > has superimposed on it the words "photo caption in italics". In > italics, of course. Of course. You have to be accurate when you put up a big sign in public. If they had superimposed "photo caption in roman" in italics, they would have had to deal with all the phone calls... SignatureRoland Hutchinson He calls himself "the Garden State's leading violist da gamba," ... comparable to being ruler of an exceptionally small duchy. --Newark (NJ) Star Ledger ( http://tinyurl.com/RolandIsNJ ) >>> A message has just arrived from the local police via our Neighboorhood >>> Watch coordinator. It alerts readers to a recent burglary in the area in [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > has superimposed on it the words "photo caption in italics". In > italics, of course. Here's something similar. This shop in a Japanese station has its name in English, or so the owner assumes: http://adweek.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/07/10/translateservererror.jpg SignatureAlan For email, replace zzz in the reply-to with three times thirty-three. >>>> A message has just arrived from the local police via our Neighboorhood >>>> Watch coordinator. It alerts readers to a recent burglary in the area in [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] >> has superimposed on it the words "photo caption in italics". In >> italics, of course. > Here's something similar. This shop in a Japanese station has its name in > English, or so the owner assumes: > http://adweek.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/07/10/translateserve > rerror.jpg Send it to www.engrish.com ! With best wishes, Peter. SignaturePeter Young, (BrE), Consultant Anaesthetist, 1975-2004. (US equivalent: Attending Anesthesiologist) Cheltenham and Gloucester, UK. Now happily retired. http://pnyoung.orpheusweb.co.uk > Here's something similar. This shop in a Japanese station has its name in > English, or so the owner assumes:http://adweek.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/07/10/translateserv... I think it's actually a Chinese station, FWIW. cheers, S. Alan J.: > > Here's something similar. This shop in a Japanese station has its name in > > English, or so the owner assumes ... Stephanie Mitchell: > I think it's actually a Chinese station, FWIW. It was reported last year as being in Beijing, with the presumption that the owners wanted signage in English so as to attract tourist traffic during the Olympics. Of course, we don't need to stray so far from English-speaking territory to see that sort of thing. Exhibit 2 for the prosecution: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/7702913.stm (Note incidentally the comment in the article to the effect that they needed to consult an expert. Well, that's exactly what they *were* doing, that led to the error! I blame the translator for this one.) SignatureMark Brader, Toronto | "What Europe needs is a fresh, unused mind." msb@vex.net | -- Foreign Correspondent My text in this article is in the public domain. |
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