website - could use some advice on my English

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T. Heslenfeld - 27 Jul 2009 22:40 GMT

Hi there, I am a professional travel photographer from Holland. This autumn
I'll publish my new photobook 'Hot' - about a 10.000 km 4WD-trip through the
Australian outback.

The website dedicated to the new book is now live:
http://www.hot-the-book.com Not being a native English speaker myself I'd
highly appreciate it if some native speakers would check out the content
(text) on misstakes, poor translations, etc. Any corrections and/or
suggestions welcome, thanks a lot!

T. Heslenfeld
http://www.thijsheslenfeld.com
office at thijsheslenfeld dot com

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tony cooper - 28 Jul 2009 02:35 GMT

>Hi there, I am a professional travel photographer from Holland. This autumn
>I'll publish my new photobook 'Hot' - about a 10.000 km 4WD-trip through the
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
>(text) on misstakes, poor translations, etc. Any corrections and/or
>suggestions welcome, thanks a lot!

A word of background here. Thijs originally posted in a photography
newsgroup with a similar request. I made some corrections that he's
incorporated into the present site. I recommended this group for
further comment.

In the original version Thihs used the sentence: "Now his spectacular
trip is being sculptured into his new photobook: 'Hot - Life in the
Australian outback'."

I pointed out that "sculptured" is not appropriate and suggested "(has
been) captured (in)". He's changed "sculptured" to "moulded", but I
think he should find some other word. Any suggestions?

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Tony Cooper - Orlando, Florida

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R H Draney - 28 Jul 2009 03:42 GMT

tony cooper filted:

>In the original version Thihs used the sentence: "Now his spectacular
>trip is being sculptured into his new photobook: 'Hot - Life in the
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
>been) captured (in)". He's changed "sculptured" to "moulded", but I
>think he should find some other word. Any suggestions?

"Recast", I think...or "transmogrified" if the audience is sufficiently
responsive to whimsy....r

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A pessimist sees the glass as half empty.
An optometrist asks whether you see the glass
more full like this?...or like this?

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J. J. Lodder - 28 Jul 2009 15:56 GMT

> >Hi there, I am a professional travel photographer from Holland. This autumn
> >I'll publish my new photobook 'Hot' - about a 10.000 km 4WD-trip through the
[quoted text clipped - 14 lines]
> trip is being sculptured into his new photobook: 'Hot - Life in the
> Australian outback'."

Not even Dunglish.
And why this strange mix of personal and impersonal?
.. his ..is being ...his...

> I pointed out that "sculptured" is not appropriate and suggested "(has
> been) captured (in)". He's changed "sculptured" to "moulded", but I
> think he should find some other word. Any suggestions?

Moulded is not appropriate since it implies
that a negative of the book already exists.
I would suggest captured too,
but perhaps 'hewn' is the word you are looking for?

You are writing a blurb anyway,

Jan

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Discussion Groups / English Usage / July 2009

website - could use some advice on my English