Discussion Groups / English Usage / January 2010

On 11 Jan 2010, Fulio Pen wrote

I don't know what the correct formal method would be, but it
wouldn't look unduly odd to me if a resumé was headed "Mr Juli X";  
he could also, I think, put it in brackets as "(Mr) Juli X".

I don't often see resumés and application letters these days,
though, so I'll be interested to hear what others think.

A wise question. It's not socially acceptable, to those who care about
these things, to say "I am Mr Xxx". In a case like this, where there's a
real ambiguity, I'd suggest putting (Mr) after the typed name at the
bottom of any letter. I think it's all right to head a résumé with "Mr
Juli Lastname": any employer or HR department really ought to see the
point.

(BrE) The formal, etiquette answer is that 'Mister' is a courtesy tile
bestowed on one by others and that no gentleman will ever bestow the
title on himself. That said, in the circumstances you describe, I think
your friend would be quite justified in including (Mr.) in parentheses to
avoid confusion. The parentheses would indicate to me that the title was
not being 'claimed' (the act of a cad) but being used purely to give me
information. Other types of English may differ from British. BTW BrE
speakers will always read 'resumes' as a verb if you can manage an e-
acute we will be less confused!.

We can simplify (i.e. Juli can simplify if he agrees).
The confusion seems that Juli and Julie (diminutive of Julia)
are homonyms viz. sound the same.  Juli can simplify by
(1) writing Juli alone and without amplification in business
documents in which sex is irrelevant (or ought to be irrelevant);
(2) in other documents, adding a note that the male name Juli
should not be confused with the female name Julie.  That way,
his note is about nomenclature, not about himself.

The last point obviates discussion about "gender."   This word
was borrowed from (non-English) grammar, and until 50 years
ago characterized only words.    It is now widely used (even in
legislation in some places)
(1) as a euphemism for sex, viz. biological difference;  many
people think it is not nice to utter the word "sex" but "gender"
is socially OK.
(2) as an indicator of sexual (psychological) preference.  The
idea here is that your physiology dictates (for nearly everyone)
whether you are male or female but your mind and feelings
may (or at least ought to be free to) make you either
heterosexual or homosexual independently of physiology.

Confusion is maximised by the practical point that most
political talk that requires the terms sex or gender (let alone
that which confuses them) is negative rather than affirmative,
i.e. sets out what is forbidden rather than what is possible.
However he wishes to present himself, Juli would be wise to
avoid introducing these themes.

While I agree with others that it sounds quite wrong to actually
introduce yourself with "Mr.", the phrasing above seems just fine to
me in the situation in which what you're doing is informing the person
at the other end that you (who answered the phone) are the person they
asked for, e.g.

  A: Good afternoon, Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe.

  B: I'd like to speak to Mr. Shoemaker.

  A: This is Mr. Shoemaker.

(Other answers are "This is he"[1] and "Speaking".)

[1] One of the only times you'll hear this phrasing, but it sounds a
   fair bit formal.

That's fine, as lons as he doesn't ask people to call him Esq., as that will
make him look like a pompous a.s.

I have a friend who used to write on the return address of letters that he
sent "Michael Xxxxx, Esq." and, though he was my friend, I still thought him a
pompous twit for expecting it.

But the question of sex or gender rears its ugly head again. If it is a
question of gender, a female who happened to be feeling masculine that day
could refer to themselves as Mr. I've known the feminine-gendered partner in a
male same-sex union to refer to the masculine partner as "my hubby".

Juli Inkster appears to be an exception: all the women by that name
that I've known have spelt it "Julie". Every Juli I've come across (not
many, to be sure) has been a Catalan-speaking man. (About two-thirds of
the Joans I've come across have been Engish-speaking women, the rest
being Catalan-speaking men). You also come across Julià as a man's name
in Catalan-speaking areas, which looks even more like a woman's name to
us.

I have exactly the same problem as your friend, as my given name,
Vivian, leads the majority of correspondents who've not met or spoken
to me to assume they're dealing with a woman.  This happens on a
virtually daily basis - out of four business emails this morning, one
addressed me as 'Ms (Myname)' and a second as 'Mrs (Myname)'.  Even
without that, you can sometimes tell that a male correspondent believes
he's writing to a woman from the slightly smarmy tone of voice...

How to get round this can be problematic - and I absolutely agree with
posters who point out that to claim the title 'Mr' (or any of the
equivalents) for oneself is crass - my reaction to people introducing
themselves as "I'm *Mr* So and So" is to want to say "Oh really?  Well,
I'm *Mr* (Myname) and you can f*** off".

To some extent I've given up caring or worrying too much about people
getting my gender wrong.  However, like your friend, it does become an
issue when applying for jobs, and over the years I've wondered from
time to time if I've failed to get certain jobs because the employer
has believed me to be a woman - given this is illegal in the UK there's
no way of knowing.

The only time I've resorted to putting (Mr) after my name is when
applying for jobs in the Middle East such as teaching local employees
on an oil refinery, when you know there's no way a woman would get the
job (or, sensibly, want to apply for it).  The other thing I've done is
to put a photograph on my CV/resume.  This shows a slightly grumpy and
overweight middle-aged bloke - I stopped short at growing a moustache
for the photo.  Even with this I've occasionally got Ms/Mrs responses
to job applications that went off with a CV - the only thing you can
assume when that happens is that the employer never looked at the CV
and you wouldn't want to work for them anyway.

DC, aka
--

On Jan 15, 11:45 am, Steve Hayes <hayes...@telkomsa.net> wrote:

But not in the establishments that I frequented.