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Discussion Groups / English Usage / January 2010Where to put a break in a sentence
I came to an obituary article for G Simmons, in which there is a sentence I don't know where to put a break in. See the following. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/22/AR2010012205323. html?hpid=artslot Olivier, who directed and played the title role intuitively cast Ms. Simmons, despite her professed ignorance of Shakespeare. About this part "who directed and played the title role intuitively cast Ms. Simmons", what do you think? 1) who directed and played the title role intuitively, cast Ms. Simmons 2) who directed and played the title role, intuitively cast Ms. Simmons Which is more appropirate? > I came to an obituary article for G Simmons, in which there is a > sentence [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > Which is more appropirate? I would guess the writer meant the second punctuation. This is suggested by the fact that Ms. Simmons was ignorant of Shapespeare, but Oliver's intuition made him cast her anyway.  SignatureLong-time resident of Adelaide, South Australia, which may or may not influence my opinions. > I would guess the writer meant the second punctuation. This is suggested > by the fact that Ms. Simmons was ignorant of Shapespeare, but Oliver's [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > - 引用テキストを表示 - Do you assume that this is just a writer's misake : they have forgetton to put a comma ? On 23 Jan 2010, Masa wrote >> I would guess the writer meant the second punctuation. This is >> suggested by the fact that Ms. Simmons was ignorant of [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > Do you assume that this is just a writer's misake : they have > forgetton to put a comma ? I think that's the most likely explanation. SignatureCheers, Harvey CanEng and BrEng, indiscriminately mixed In our last episode, <cbaabce9-1b90-4c09-90a1-02fa59dc2021@b9g2000yqd.googlegroups.com>, the lovely and talented Masa broadcast on alt.usage.english: >> I would guess the writer meant the second punctuation. This is suggested >> by the fact that Ms. Simmons was ignorant of Shapespeare, but Oliver's [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >> >> - ?$B0zMQ%F%-%9%H$rI=<( - > Do you assume that this is just a writer's misake : they have > forgetton to put a comma ? Yes. There is one too many commas or one too few. If a comma is placed after 'Olivier,' there must be one before 'intuitively.' SignatureLars Eighner <http://larseighner.com/> Warbama's Afghaninam day: 52 1257.4 hours since Warbama declared Viet Nam II. Warbama: An LBJ for the Twenty-First century. No hope. No change. >> I would guess the writer meant the second punctuation. This is suggested >> by the fact that Ms. Simmons was ignorant of Shapespeare, but Oliver's [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > Do you assume that this is just a writer's misake : they have > forgetton to put a comma ? There's more than a comma missing here. (Cast her as what? Or, perhaps, cast her into what?) I suspect an editing error that deleted several words after "Shakespeare". In other words, I suspect that the original was something like: "Olivier, who directed and played the title role, intuitively cast Ms. Simmons, despite her professed ignorance of Shakespeare, as Ophelia." It's still an awkward sentence, but it now looks like something that a journalist in a hurry might have written. SignaturePeter Moylan, Newcastle, NSW, Australia. http://www.pmoylan.org For an e-mail address, see my web page. >>> I would guess the writer meant the second punctuation. This is suggested >>> by the fact that Ms. Simmons was ignorant of Shapespeare, but Oliver's [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > cast her into what?) I suspect an editing error that deleted several > words after "Shakespeare". I assumed that would have been explained previously. SignatureLong-time resident of Adelaide, South Australia, which may or may not influence my opinions. >> I came to an obituary article for G Simmons, in which there is a >> sentence [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > suggested by the fact that Ms. Simmons was ignorant of Shapespeare, > but Oliver's intuition made him cast her anyway. And you can only work that out if you known that Olivier was a man. It's a train-wreck of sentence that should be torn up and replaced. SignatureOnline waterways route planner | http://canalplan.eu Plan trips, see photos, check facilities | http://canalplan.org.uk Nick Atty: > It's a train-wreck of sentence that should be torn up and replaced. Mixed metaphor of the day. Hmm. Why didn't you mix it up further by saying It's a train-wreck of sentence that should be torn up and redug. ? :-) SignatureMark Brader, Toronto | "Where is down special?" ... "Good." msb@vex.net | "Do you refuse to answer my question?" "Don't know." >>> I came to an obituary article for G Simmons, in which there is a >>> sentence [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > And you can only work that out if you known that Olivier was a man. Silly me. I actually read it as "Oliver". SignatureLong-time resident of Adelaide, South Australia, which may or may not influence my opinions. > I came to an obituary article for G Simmons, in which there is a > sentence I don't know where to put a break in. . . . > Olivier, who directed and played the title role intuitively cast Ms. > Simmons, despite her professed ignorance of Shakespeare. That wants to be punctuated so: Olivier, who directed and played the title role, intuitively cast Ms. Simmons, despite her professed ignorance of Shakespeare. Any intuition in Olivier's portrayal of whomever he was playing is manifestly irrelevant to his casting of another role; but his intuition is highly relevant to his casting of an actress ignorant of the traditions of acting her role. SignatureCordially, Eric Walker, Owlcroft House http://owlcroft.com/english/ > I came to an obituary article for G Simmons, in which there is a > sentence . . . http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/22/AR2010012205323. html?hpid=artslot The obituary is of Jean Simmons, not G. Simmons. The writer notes "younger writers often confused her with Gene Simmons, the flamboyant singer with the rock band KISS." The obituary misdescribes Androcles and the Lion as "a satire about ancient Rome:" it is a comedy but not a satire. SignatureDon Phillipson Carlsbad Springs (Ottawa, Canada) > I came to an obituary article for G Simmons, in which there is a That would be _J_ Simmons, as in Jean - not G, as in Gene. It was a actress who died, nit a member of Kiss. njg |
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