Discussion Groups / English Usage / February 2010

Chapter 4:     Princess from the Undead
“Where’s my novel Princess of the Undead?”  I thought to myself
scurrying through a pile of books that I had taken out of my bag,
which seemed to be somewhat comparable to the height, and shape, of
the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
“Have you lost something”, Mandy calls from the desk beside me.
“Yes”, I exclaimed, “my social life”.
It was English, and I was in year twelve, and approaching the end of
the year: the forever-dreaded SAT’s were coming up soon.  I don’t know
why SAT stood for Schools Admissions Test, since for every normal
student, excluding book worms, which I couldn’t properly provide
representation for, stood for something more like the Sick and
Twisted.
There was probably no subject I hated with a passion more than
English.  Our teacher, Ms. Mattiske, was, I guess, fairly nice, but a
rather hard marker.  Moreover, to reiterate what I mean by “hard
marker”, if you were to score above eighty-five percent, which was an
A, you would be William Shakespeare.
“So hydrogen and oxygen are getting a drink, and gold walks in, and
they go ‘Au, get out of the bar’”, Jeremy says walking pass the front
of my desk and through the side to the seat behind me, “Because, you
know, Au is the atomic symbol for gold”, Jeremy clarifies.
“Ah, ha, ha”, Mandy taunts.
“Someone’s looking towards the SAT”, I say in a rather rhetorical
tone.
“Oh, look who woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morn-ing”,
Jeremy laughs.
“You know what Miley”, Mandy says, “A lot of people think these SAT
questions are difficult; Not me.”
“No?”  I gasp.
“No”, she replies, “These questions all have answers”.