I need help for the following sentences

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AngelovskaT@googlemail.com - 08 Apr 2007 23:50 GMT

Hi to all of you,

I am writing an important paper on second language acquisition studies
and I need a native speaker of English who would be willing to help me
with the following sentences:

Is this a correct sentence and if not how would you improve it? (the
same applies to whole sentence from 1 to 9 )

1. In this book the various national, political, social and
geographical aspirations and the Hungarians' motivation to learn and
choose particular foreign languages are being observed.

2. What makes this book a positive contribution to the field of second
language learning is the authors' inclusion of new data in the third
phase (2004) after the authors' 10- year period of previous studies,
extended in this volume by almost 5000 new learners

3.Living in a constantly changing society in the era of globalisation,
one is struck by the influences of globalization in almost every life
aspect.

4. . During this 10-year period in Hungary certain languages appear to
be gaining more popularity over others, resulting in a new gradation
of insights into the language globalisation and at the same time,
challenging its reader by its complex statistical labyrinth. (I assume
this is complex. How would you simplify it?)

5. The politics in the country are discussed within the framework of
he foreign language learning situation and light is shed on the
situation of tourism and motivation for intercultural contacts.

6.Taking into consideration the importance of the socio-psychological
aspects of second language acquisition, Gardner and his associates
(e.g., Gardner, 1988; Gardner & MacIntyre, 1993) developed a model
that includes a combination of attitudes toward the target group,
defined as integrative motivation, interest in foreign language, and
integrative orientation, as a key component of the socio-educational
model.

7.Chapters 3 and 4 present the general finding of the studies the
authors of this book conducted earlier.

8. Additionally, in Chapter 3, the authors examine these motivational
components with their psychometric properties, as well as the various
ways of the interactive relations between the language dispositions
and their change over time.

9. the authors came up with an unexpected result (How would you
replace "CAME UP with"? What is the appropriate word?

Thanks a lot and hopefully there will be some natives in here.

Greetings
Tanja

Reply to this Message

Einde O'Callaghan - 09 Apr 2007 17:47 GMT

AngelovskaT@googlemail.com schrieb:

> Hi to all of you,
>
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
> geographical aspirations and the Hungarians' motivation to learn and
> choose particular foreign languages are being observed.

In this book the various national, political, social and geographical
aspirations and the motivation of Hungarians to learn and choose
particular foreign languages are being observed.

It is now grammatically OK - but I'm still not certin what you are
trying to say - for example. does the possessive "Hungarians" refer only
to motivation or does it also refer to aspirations? If the former than I
think the whole sentence needs to be rewitten to make that clear.

> 2. What makes this book a positive contribution to the field of second
> language learning is the authors' inclusion of new data in the third
> phase (2004) after the authors' 10- year period of previous studies,
> extended in this volume by almost 5000 new learners

What makes this book a positive contribution to the field of second
language learning is the authors' inclusion of new data from the third
phase (2004). This extends the previous 10-year study by the authors to
include in this volume almost 5000 new learners in this volume.

At least Ithink that's what your trying to say.

> 3.Living in a constantly changing society in the era of globalisation,
> one is struck by the influences of globalization in almost every life
> aspect.

Living in a constantly changing society in the era of globalisation, one
is struck by the influence of globalization on almost every aspect of life.

> 4. . During this 10-year period in Hungary certain languages appear to
> be gaining more popularity over others, resulting in a new gradation
> of insights into the language globalisation and at the same time,
> challenging its reader by its complex statistical labyrinth. (I assume
> this is complex. How would you simplify it?)

During this 10-year period certain languages appear to have gained more
popularity in Hungary than others, ...

I'm not certain what you are trsing to say in the rest of the sentence -
or whether the part in parentheses is part of the sentence.

> 5. The politics in the country are discussed within the framework of
> he foreign language learning situation and light is shed on the
> situation of tourism and motivation for intercultural contacts.

The politics of the country are discussed within the framework of the
foreign language learning situation and light is shed on the situation
of tourism and the motivation for intercultural contacts.

I'm not certain that the word "situation" is appropriate in both cases.

> 6.Taking into consideration the importance of the socio-psychological
> aspects of second language acquisition, Gardner and his associates
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> integrative orientation, as a key component of the socio-educational
> model.

This sentence seems to be OK grammatically, although it is written in a
ratehr condensed academic style which is rather opaque for non-academics.

> 7.Chapters 3 and 4 present the general finding of the studies the
> authors of this book conducted earlier.

Chapters 3 and 4 present the general findings of the studies conducted
earlier by the authors of this book.

> 8. Additionally, in Chapter 3, the authors examine these motivational
> components with their psychometric properties, as well as the various
> ways of the interactive relations between the language dispositions
> and their change over time.

In addition, in Chapter 3, the authors examine these motivational
components with their psychometric properties, as well as the various
interactive relations between the language dispositions and their change
over time.

I presume the "these" refers to something mentioned immediatesly before
this sentence.

> 9. the authors came up with an unexpected result (How would you
> replace "CAME UP with"? What is the appropriate word?

If you want to emphasise the result I'd rephrase the sentence completely:

One result of the study was unexpected.

You could also use "surprising".

Regards, Einde O'Callaghan

Reply to this Message

AngelovskaT@googlemail.com - 10 Apr 2007 18:55 GMT

Dear Einde,

Thanks a lot for your effort and help.

Here are my answers:

On Apr 9, 6:47 pm, Einde O'Callaghan <einde.ocallag...@planet-
interkom.de> wrote:

> Angelovs...@googlemail.com schrieb:> Hi to all of you,
>
[quoted text clipped - 17 lines]
> to motivation or does it also refer to aspirations? If the former than I
> think the whole sentence needs to be rewitten to make that clear.

It refer only to the degree they were motivated to choose a foreign
language to learn and its connection to their geographical preference.
For example, if they like to visit Germany for business purposes, then
they will choose to learn German instead of French.

> > 2. What makes this book a positive contribution to the field of second
> > language learning is the authors' inclusion of new data in the third
[quoted text clipped - 13 lines]
> Living in a constantly changing society in the era of globalisation, one
> is struck by the influence of globalization on almost every aspect of life.

Great! Thanks so much.

> > 4. . During this 10-year period in Hungary certain languages appear to
> > be gaining more popularity over others, resulting in a new gradation
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
> I'm not certain what you are trsing to say in the rest of the sentence -
> or whether the part in parentheses is part of the sentence.

By the rest "resulting in ......" I want to say that due to the
Hungary's EU entrance, the preference of the people to learn a foreign
language changed. This resulted in a more complex statistical data
that the authors gathered due to the various views of the subjects
examined.

How do you think I should change this?

> > 5. The politics in the country are discussed within the framework of
> > he foreign language learning situation and light is shed on the
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
>
> I'm not certain that the word "situation" is appropriate in both cases.

By "situation" I mean the "choice to learn a foreign language" the
people are making.
I assume "situation" is not proper, right?

> > 6.Taking into consideration the importance of the socio-psychological
> > aspects of second language acquisition, Gardner and his associates
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
> This sentence seems to be OK grammatically, although it is written in a
> ratehr condensed academic style which is rather opaque for non-academics.

I got a comment that this sentence reads akwardly, so I was wondering
how I can edit it?

> > 7.Chapters 3 and 4 present the general finding of the studies the
> > authors of this book conducted earlier.
[quoted text clipped - 14 lines]
> I presume the "these" refers to something mentioned immediatesly before
> this sentence.

Yes in the previous sentence I have mentioned some of the components.

> > 9. the authors came up with an unexpected result (How would you
> > replace "CAME UP with"? What is the appropriate word?
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
>
> You could also use "surprising".

Thanks a lot.

> Regards, Einde O'Callaghan

Reply to this Message

Einde O'Callaghan - 10 Apr 2007 21:13 GMT

AngelovskaT@googlemail.com schrieb:

> Dear Einde,
>
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>
>>Angelovs...@googlemail.com schrieb:> Hi to all of you,

<snip>

>>>1. In this book the various national, political, social and
>>>geographical aspirations and the Hungarians' motivation to learn and
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
>>to motivation or does it also refer to aspirations? If the former than I
>>think the whole sentence needs to be rewitten to make that clear.

Having thought a bit about your probable intention I'd suggest the
following:

In this book various national, political, social and
geographical aspirations are examined, as well as the motivation of
Hungarians to learn and choose particular foreign languages.

It still feels a bit clumsy. For example: Whose aspirations are we
talking about? This is unclear.
<snip>

>>>4. . During this 10-year period in Hungary certain languages appear to
>>>be gaining more popularity over others, resulting in a new gradation
[quoted text clipped - 15 lines]
>
> How do you think I should change this?

I would break up the sentence. the first sentence is as above. Then I
would say:

This has provided new insights into language globalisation. However, it
has also made the statistical data more complex and more difficult to
interpret.

Is that what you're trying to say?

>>>5. The politics in the country are discussed within the framework of
>>>he foreign language learning situation and light is shed on the
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
> people are making.
> I assume "situation" is not proper, right?

The politics of the country are discussed in the context of the choice
of which foreign language to learn and light is shed on the effects of
tourism and the motivation for intercultural contacts.

Is that what you want to say?

>>>6.Taking into consideration the importance of the socio-psychological
>>>aspects of second language acquisition, Gardner and his associates
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>>This sentence seems to be OK grammatically, although it is written in a
>>ratehr condensed academic style which is rather opaque for non-academics.

Perhaps the following might help:

Because of the importance of the social psychological aspects of second
language acquisition, Gardner and his associates (e.g. ...) developed a
model that includes a combination of attitudes towards the target group
- defined as integrative motivation, interest in the foreign language
and integrative orientation - as a key component of the
socio-educational model.

I've tried to make it less opaque primarily through using punctuation
with minor amendments of the language used

I hope that helps some more.

Regards, Einde O'Callaghan

Reply to this Message

AngelovskaT@googlemail.com - 12 Apr 2007 16:36 GMT

Hi Einde,
thanks again. The final change I did is the following:

> Having thought a bit about your probable intention I'd suggest the
> following:
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
> talking about? This is unclear.
> <snip>

The various national, political, and social and personal motives of
the Hungarians to choose and learn particular foreign languages are
observed.

> >>>4. . During this 10-year period in Hungary certain languages appear to
> >>>be gaining more popularity over others, resulting in a new gradation
[quoted text clipped - 28 lines]
> >>>he foreign language learning situation and light is shed on the
> >>>situation of tourism and motivation for intercultural contacts.

I changed it like this:

During this 10-year period in Hungary certain languages appear to have
gained more popularity than others. The results of the various
language choices create a complex statistical labyrinth that
challenges the reader.

> >>The politics of the country are discussed within the framework of the
> >>foreign language learning situation and light is shed on the situation
[quoted text clipped - 11 lines]
>
> Is that what you want to say?

My change:
The politics in the country are discussed within the framework of the
foreign language learning situation and light is shed on the situation
of tourism and motivation for intercultural contacts.
But I will take the first part you wrote and change into: The politics
in the country are discussed in the context of the choice of which
foreign language to learn and light is shed on the situation of
tourism and motivation for intercultural contacts.

> >>>6.Taking into consideration the importance of the socio-psychological
> >>>aspects of second language acquisition, Gardner and his associates
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
> I've tried to make it less opaque primarily through using punctuation
> with minor amendments of the language used

Thanks to your suggestion I did the following:Because of the
importance of the social psychological aspects of second language
acquisition, Gardner and his associates (e.g., Gardner, 1988; Gardner
& MacIntyre, 1993) developed a model that includes a combination of
attitudes toward the target language group. The key components of
their socio-educational model are: integrative motivation, interest in
foreign language, and integrative orientation.

> I hope that helps some more.

It helped a lot! Thanks so much.

> Regards, Einde O'Callaghan

What do you think now?

I would like to thank you really really very much.
Greetings
Tanja

Reply to this Message

Einde O'Callaghan - 12 Apr 2007 19:11 GMT

AngelovskaT@googlemail.com schrieb:

> Hi Einde,
> thanks again. The final change I did is the following:
[quoted text clipped - 13 lines]
> the Hungarians to choose and learn particular foreign languages are
> observed.

Great.

>>>>>4. . During this 10-year period in Hungary certain languages appear to
>>>>>be gaining more popularity over others, resulting in a new gradation
[quoted text clipped - 35 lines]
> language choices create a complex statistical labyrinth that
> challenges the reader.

Much better.

>>>>The politics of the country are discussed within the framework of the
>>>>foreign language learning situation and light is shed on the situation
[quoted text clipped - 51 lines]
> their socio-educational model are: integrative motivation, interest in
> foreign language, and integrative orientation.

Good.

>>I hope that helps some more.
>
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
>
> What do you think now?

It's much clearer.

Regards, Einde O'Callaghan

Reply to this Message

AngelovskaT@googlemail.com - 12 Apr 2007 16:41 GMT

On Apr 10, 10:13 pm, Einde O'Callaghan <einde.ocallag...@planet-
interkom.de> wrote:

> Angelovs...@googlemail.com schrieb:
>
[quoted text clipped - 110 lines]
>
> Regards, Einde O'Callaghan

THANKS SOOO MUCH!!
Greetings
Tanja

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Discussion Groups / ESL Teaching / April 2007

I need help for the following sentences