Every now and then I have to write a piece of news about our company and
then translate it into English. Could anyone look through the following one
and suggest what could be corrected and improved? I am not, for example,
sure that I found the right translation for "citizen's appeal department",
which may sound weird for native speakers.
Thank you in advance.
*****
Chernigov Regional State Administration Decided on FossDoc!
December 18, 2004
FossDoc was selected as the electronic document management system for the
Chernigov regional state administration. According to administration
officials, the key decisive factors in favor of FossDoc were its ability to
be easily tailored to the current processes of document turnover and
management within the organization, ready-to-use solutions for the office
and for the citizen's appeal department as well as its simplicity to work
with and low price.
Chernigov Region is one of the biggest regions of Ukraine (31,9 thousand sq.
km.) in terms of its area. The population is around 1.32 million.
*****
John Ings - 21 Jan 2004 11:07 GMT
>Every now and then I have to write a piece of news about our company and
>then translate it into English. Could anyone look through the following one
>and suggest what could be corrected and improved? I am not, for example,
>sure that I found the right translation for "citizen's appeal department",
>which may sound weird for native speakers.
What does this Appeal Department do? Presumably it is a government
office where citizens can go to 'appeal' with respect to something,
but what? Their taxes? Government policies? Are their appeals
complaints or just applications for some sort of relief? What I'm
really trying to decide I guess is what sort of government office in
our western system this office corresponds to.
Alex Bod - 21 Jan 2004 11:26 GMT
"John Ings wrote:
> What does this Appeal Department do? Presumably it is a government
> office where citizens can go to 'appeal' with respect to something,
> but what? Their taxes? Government policies? Are their appeals
> complaints or just applications for some sort of relief? What I'm
> really trying to decide I guess is what sort of government office in
> our western system this office corresponds to.
This department deals with citizen's complaints of almost every kind. For
example, somebody may submit a complaint about not receiving his/her pension
on time, a disabled person may ask for some aid, and etc...
John Ings - 21 Jan 2004 11:53 GMT
>This department deals with citizen's complaints of almost every kind. For
>example, somebody may submit a complaint about not receiving his/her pension
>on time, a disabled person may ask for some aid, and etc...
I guess Appeals Department is as accurate a title as I can think of
for a single office that is prepared to handle such a wide variety of
problems. In my country there are several offices that divide up such
appeals into categories and handle them separately. e.g.
http://canada.gc.ca/cdns/indiv_e.html
I can see some advantages in having only one department handling such
a variety of problems, but I bet there are some long lines of
appellants when they open in the morning!
Alex Bod - 21 Jan 2004 12:40 GMT
John Ings wrote:
> I guess Appeals Department is as accurate a title as I can think of
> for a single office that is prepared to handle such a wide variety of
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
> a variety of problems, but I bet there are some long lines of
> appellants when they open in the morning!
Thank you, John!
What would you say about the general style? Maybe something sound weird or
unnatural? Or all is perfect for such kind of news?
John Ings - 21 Jan 2004 13:05 GMT
>Thank you, John!
>What would you say about the general style? Maybe something sound weird or
>unnatural? Or all is perfect for such kind of news?
The second sentence is rather long, so I would recommend some
semi-colons.
"FossDoc was selected as the electronic document management system for
the Chernigov Regional State Administration. According to
administration officials, the key decisive factors in favor of FossDoc
was its ability to be easily tailored to the current processes of
document turnover and management within the organization;
its ready-to-use solutions for the office and for the Citizen's
Appeal Department; its simplicity to work with and reasonable price."
Another way of addressing the problem would be to break up that last
sentence into a bulleted list.
Owain - 21 Jan 2004 11:14 GMT
| I am not, for example, sure that I found the right
| translation for "citizen's appeal department",
| which may sound weird for native speakers.
| Chernigov regional state administration. ... citizen's
| appeal department
What are the citizens appealing against? Criminal convictions? Property
valuations? Parking tickets?
Owain
Django Cat - 21 Jan 2004 15:57 GMT
> Every now and then I have to write a piece of news about our company and
> then translate it into English. Could anyone look through the following
[quoted text clipped - 24 lines]
> km.) in terms of its area. The population is around 1.32 million.
> *****
Possibly 'ombudsman' (although I think this office is usually independent
of the organisations it exists to regulate), 'complaints department' or, in
a lot of public departments these days, 'Customers Services'.
DCC
Django Cat - 21 Jan 2004 16:12 GMT
>> Every now and then I have to write a piece of news about our company and
>> then translate it into English. Could anyone look through the following
[quoted text clipped - 32 lines]
>
> DCC
'Customer Services'.
A. Kong - 21 Jan 2004 23:55 GMT
Alex,
I guess this department is more likely to handle general complaints of
the government and her execution of policy. If it involves criminal
cases etc, it would be named 'Appeal Court', right?
Acutally I wonder if u has any choice over the use of word, because
these days many non-english countries would have set the offical English
name for their various ministries at the very beginning. If there exists
an offical name, you should not come up with another translation, since
it will cause confusion aboard. If there is no offical english name
before, then Alex should convince the department that they should be the
one to decide a Englih name, and do it right now. It could be the
'Citizen's Appeal Department' as Alex originally intended, or 'Office of
the Ombudsman'(If your department is functionally so). My point is,
afterall, the information is about an official department, and getting
the name right, proper and consistent is important to the professional
image of your country.
As for the passage itself, I agree with others that the last sentence
appears to be too long and it should be broken down, preferably into a
number of short sentences.
Anthony
>>> Every now and then I have to write a piece of news about our company and
>>> then translate it into English. Could anyone look through the
[quoted text clipped - 35 lines]
>
> 'Customer Services'.
Alex Bod - 22 Jan 2004 08:31 GMT
I would like to thank all those who have expressed their opinions on the
topic. Yes, most of the government institutions in Ukraine do have their
English names. But I am not sure whether they set official names for their
departments, especially for small ones. I sometimes need to make up our
company's news and occasionally encounter problems finding proper terms.
Mike - 22 Jan 2004 09:10 GMT
You all wrote citizen's appeal.
This would mean an appeal procedure for one citizen.
As this group is about English Language, it would be better
if the contributors studied their punctuation and spelling.
i.e. citizen's and English
> Every now and then I have to write a piece of news about our company and
> then translate it into English. Could anyone look through the following one
[quoted text clipped - 19 lines]
> km.) in terms of its area. The population is around 1.32 million.
> *****
Django Cat - 22 Jan 2004 10:31 GMT
> As this group is about English Language, it would be better
> if the contributors studied their punctuation and spelling.
> i.e. citizen's and English
Get you!
> You all wrote citizen's appeal.
> This would mean an appeal procedure for one citizen.
Oh my God!!! That's right, isn't it!!!
If we put it in the plural, then my original typo, '*customers(') service'
would be correct. But the usual usage is 'customer services' so maybe the
answer should be 'citizen appeals' and we're using 'citizen' or 'customer'
as an adjective...
Or maybe we *are* thinking about each individual's right to appeal...
So how would we apostrophise, say, 'driver's airbag'?
Anyway, thanks for the advice.
#)
Mike - 22 Jan 2004 09:12 GMT
How interesting that I should type {citizens'} and have it come up as
citizen's
Is there an auto correct in Outlook express?
> Every now and then I have to write a piece of news about our company and
> then translate it into English. Could anyone look through the following one
[quoted text clipped - 19 lines]
> km.) in terms of its area. The population is around 1.32 million.
> *****