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Discussion Groups / British English / April 2004Anyone interested in English poems?
Hi, I write English poems and I'm Italian. Anyone interested in reading them and judge them? Thanksalot. Warthoggie  SignaturePlease avoid sending me Word or PowerPoint attachments. Convert them into text, HTML, PDF, RTF. See http://www.fsf.org/philosophy/no-word-attachments.html > Hi, > I write English poems and I'm Italian. Anyone interested in reading them > and judge them? Would you mind sending one to this ng *. I'm just curious, and... Italian. * Would "on to this ng" acceptable? Bye, FB > * Would "on to this ng" be acceptable? Bye, FB SignatureMrs. Palmer, in her way, was equally angry. 'She was determined to drop his acquaintance immediately, and she was very thankful that she had never been acquainted with him at all'. Hi, thanks for replying. "On to this" I think it's redundant and bad-sounding. I'd rather say "to this ng", it's more direct...imho...well...I understood all the same. Well, folks, the first poem is part of a trilogy of (obviously) three poems. They analize three aspects of the loneliness, how this mood starts, it develops, it grows inside me. Through my poems, the loneliness is associated with a girl of admirable beauty, because I have never been with a girl, hence I'm feeling alone. LONELINESS Loneliness, you don't realize of her, and she's already there. She has long arms to surround you in a dull embrace, turning a clear path into a foggy trace. All my happy thoughts about friends, love, she can wipe away, the world itself is now grey. It's like living in a closed, locked case, alone without any grace. I loose my hold on reality. I have to strain, to fight against her brutality, but my hands are bare, and my force is no more. Wait, I'm not alone, there's the Loneliness over me, we talk each other, she's sitting on her throne. She is my beloved, my princess, I live with the Loneliness. The Judgment is opened... Thanks everybody. Warthoggie * FB <fam.balducciNOSPAM@tin.it> [230404 19:45]: >> * Would "on to this ng" be acceptable? > > Bye, FB SignaturePlease avoid sending me Word or PowerPoint attachments. Convert them into text, HTML, PDF, RTF. See http://www.fsf.org/philosophy/no-word-attachments.html > Hi, > thanks for replying. "On to this" I think it's redundant and bad-sounding. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > is associated with a girl of admirable beauty, because I have never been > with a girl, hence I'm feeling alone. I thought that some of the metaphysical imagery was really particularly effective. SignatureJohn Briggs * John Briggs <john.briggs4@ntlworld.com> [240404 15:49]: > I thought that some of the metaphysical imagery was really particularly > effective. Thanks for your replying, I must know if I write well and without errors. Thanks for your opinion, a lot! At last I know that I can transmit passions and strong feelings to the people, with my writing. I don't know if metaphysical is the right word...I write just what I feel, no fantasy, reality is the secret for a successful writing. However I appreciate the "particularly effective". Thanks again. SignaturePlease avoid sending me Word or PowerPoint attachments. Convert them into text, HTML, PDF, RTF. See http://www.fsf.org/philosophy/no-word-attachments.html >* John Briggs <john.briggs4@ntlworld.com> [240404 15:49]: >> [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] >no fantasy, reality is the secret for a successful writing. However I >appreciate the "particularly effective". Thanks again. [PSSSST! I think Mr Briggs might have been quoting from a work of science fiction. The hapless heroes, hitch-hiking their way from a demolished planet Earth, are captured by an alien, who then subjects them to a sample of his verse, before ejecting them into outer space. The fictional work is humorous, and I trust his comment above is also meant in an ironic or humorous vein.] SignatureDave OSOS#24 dswindell.gerbil@tcp.co.uk Remove my gerbil for email replies Yamaha XJ900S & Wessex sidecar, the sexy one Yamaha XJ900F & Watsonian Monaco, the comfortable one http://dswindell.members.beeb.net Hi everybody, here's the second and last (for the time being) poem. The loneliness generate illusions, and make me imagine love stories with unreal girls. This is the meaning of the poem. I hope you would appreciate that as you all did with the first. I haven't decided yet about the third: I have to make up my mind between suicide or keep on going living this life in the eagerly hope of an encounter... Thanks for your help. Loneliness, sweet fantasy I could live happy moments with her. Not much is required, loneliness, torpor, darkness. I imagine thousands of stories. Oh, so sweet fantasy, spare me some company. 'Cos only where you are I'm happy, alone no more. She's so beautiful, we're talking to each other, smiling, and leading us hand in hand into foreseen matters. I'm fine with her, but she isn't real. I woke up in my bed 'cos she's without the head. WartHog SignaturePlease avoid sending me Word or PowerPoint attachments. Convert them into text, HTML, PDF, RTF. See http://www.fsf.org/philosophy/no-word-attachments.html > I haven't decided yet about the third: I have to make up my mind between > suicide or keep on going living this life in the eagerly hope of an > encounter... The latter, if I may venture an opinion, Wart... (witty face) Bye, FB Thanks for all your answers, but it seems that there's no one so clever to judge the grammar and the structure of a poem written by a normal guy who is anything but a poet. Being so, I have to turn to another newsgroup, hoping to find really competent people and maybe some real poet. Thanks anyway for your opinion (even if it was metaphisical), and goodbye, my friends, goodbye. WartHog PS. the two poems are deposited in the reports of SIAE, that is the Italian Copyright Bureau, so no one but me can have money for their publishing, you know, just in case you liked them... * FB <fam.balducciNOSPAM@tin.it> [270404 19:23]: >> I haven't decided yet about the third: I have to make up my mind between >> suicide or keep on going living this life in the eagerly hope of an [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Bye, FB SignaturePlease avoid sending me Word or PowerPoint attachments. Convert them into text, HTML, PDF, RTF. See http://www.fsf.org/philosophy/no-word-attachments.html > > Hi, > > thanks for replying. "On to this" I think it's redundant and bad-sounding. [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > effective. > -- But we'll still throw him off the ship anyway...... ally (lurker... couldn't resist) |
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