Good syntax ?

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Mordicus - 04 Dec 2004 11:17 GMT

Hi,

I would like to know if these sentences (from a poem translated into
English) are syntactically and grammatically right (if not, it may be
deliberate) or a little bit odd:

1- Life's years do not last a century

2- Man ever nurses worries of one thousand years.

................................

3- Make merry we must while there's time

4- Can wait for next year?

Please, what would be a more "correct" (better usage) for these sentences if
they are really odd ? for example: "can YOU wait for next year ?" would be,
I suppose, more fluent (do not care about "poetry", since it's not a poetic
translation, but just about the right, normal usage, grammar and syntax).

Thank you !

Mordicus (from France)

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Rotes Sapiens - 12 Dec 2004 05:17 GMT

>I would like to know if these sentences (from a poem translated into
>English) are syntactically and grammatically right (if not, it may be
>deliberate) or a little bit odd:

>Please, what would be a more "correct" (better usage) for these sentences if
>they are really odd ? for example: "can YOU wait for next year ?" would be,
>I suppose, more fluent (do not care about "poetry", since it's not a poetic
>translation, but just about the right, normal usage, grammar and syntax).

>1- Life's years do not last a century

The first sentence doesn't have bad grammar or syntax, but the
language is more suited to literature. One way to handle this odd
sentence is by untangling the apostrophe of possession:

1- The years of life do not last a century.

>2- Man ever nurses worries of one thousand years.

The adverb is in an unusual place in this sentence, I'd say it's too
clumsy to be literary:

2- Man nurses the worries of one thousand years forever. (I hope
that's what the sentence means.)

>3- Make merry we must while there's time

The first noun phrase goes on the beginning of the sentence in
english, so it's not good syntax. It's typical of a song:

3- We must make merry while there's time.

>4- Can wait for next year?

This sentence is missing a noun, it would normally be considered
unacceptable. Many languages don't have as many pronouns in the
sentences as english, that's what seems to be missing:

4- Can you wait for next year? or Can it wait for next year?
might be equally as valid.

Sig:
I have a brain the size of a planet. It's not much good to me, however. It's on a different planet.

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Mordicus - 14 Dec 2004 18:44 GMT

Thank you very much Rotes for you answer ! I received very interesting
answers from others users too (because I made a mistake when I edited my
post, the answers are posted under the subject "Reediting my post (up!)" in
the same newsgroup (uk.culture.language.english newsgroup).

Mordicus

>>I would like to know if these sentences (from a poem translated into
>>English) are syntactically and grammatically right (if not, it may be
[quoted text clipped - 43 lines]
> I have a brain the size of a planet. It's not much good to me, however.
> It's on a different planet.

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Discussion Groups / British English / December 2004

Good syntax ?