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Need help with application

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Stefan Buhrmester - 16 Dec 2004 19:55 GMT
Hi,

I am trying to write an application as Game Master at Blizzard. I don't  
have any experience in writing formal british english (I am german), so I  
want to ask if somebody would be so kind and check for grammar or maybe  
give some suggestions?

Thanks ;-)

Application as Game Master DE

Dear Sir/Madam

with reference to your advertisement on wow-europe.com I am writing to  
apply as Game Master (DE). At the moment I am a student at Technical  
University Darmstadt and working  on my Bachelors degree in computer  
technologie.

Since role-playing-games have allways been my favourite hobby, I now am  
developer and administrator of my own german browser-based RPG with more  
than 4.000 active players. In its now allmost two years of existance I was  
able to gain wide experience with people and in supporting communities in  
a team. I am familiar with all sorts of community tools.

Furthermore I enjoy working with people very much, and working at a  
company like Blizzard allways has been one of my dreams, since I want to  
use my skills in a productive and enjoyable environment.

Finally I enclose my CV and a copy of my educational qualification.

I would appriciate the opportunity to discuss matters further at a  
personal interview

Yours faithfully,
Stefan Buhrmester
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Tom - 16 Dec 2004 20:51 GMT
Stefan Buhrmester wrote...
> Hi,
>
> I am trying to write an application as Game Master at Blizzard. I don't  
> have any experience in writing formal british english (I am german), so
> I  want to ask if somebody would be so kind and check for grammar or

so kind as to check the grammar

> maybe  give some suggestions?
>
> Thanks ;-)
>
> Application as Game Master DE

Application *as* or *for* ?

> Dear Sir/Madam

Dear Sir/Madam,

> with reference to your advertisement on wow-europe.com I am writing to  
> apply as Game Master (DE). At the moment I am a student at Technical  
> University Darmstadt and working  on my Bachelors degree in computer  
> technologie.

technology

> Since role-playing-games have allways been my favourite hobby, I now am  

role-playing games              always

> developer and administrator of my own german browser-based RPG with

a developer

> more  than 4.000 active players. In its now allmost two years of

(ugly sentence)
             4,000                            almost

> existance I was  able to gain wide experience with people and in

existence

> supporting communities in  a team. I am familiar with all sorts of
> community tools.

examples ??

> Furthermore I enjoy working with people very much, and working at a  
> company like Blizzard allways has been one of my dreams, since I want

has always been

> to  use my skills in a productive and enjoyable environment.
>
> Finally I enclose my CV and a copy of my educational qualification.

just the one qualification?

Usually a CV will detail qualifications, unless you a enclosing a copy of a
certificate - in which case you should say so.

> I would appriciate the opportunity to discuss matters further at a  

not finally?
appreciate

> personal interview

full stop.

> Yours faithfully,
> Stefan Buhrmester
Tom - 16 Dec 2004 22:03 GMT
Tom wrote...

> Stefan Buhrmester wrote...
>> developer and administrator of my own german browser-based RPG with

missed one...
German

You should also probably provide them with the URL
Stefan Buhrmester - 18 Dec 2004 10:04 GMT
> Tom wrote...
> [very much helpfull stuff]

Thank you :) !!!

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Tom - 18 Dec 2004 10:33 GMT
Stefan Buhrmester wrote...
>> Tom wrote...
>> [very much helpfull stuff]

[sigh]

RTFD
Stefan Buhrmester - 18 Dec 2004 11:06 GMT
> Stefan Buhrmester wrote...
>>> Tom wrote...
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
>
> RTFD

i'm solly :/

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vorotyntsev@yahoo.com - 16 Dec 2004 20:55 GMT
Run it through a spell-check routine...

technology
always
almost
4,000 (Americans and Britains use the comma, not the period)
Otherwise it looks fine
 
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