If my grandmother had wheels ...

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Nico - 14 Aug 2006 17:06 GMT

I am greatly interested in phrases like the following:

If my grandmother had wheels, she would be a bicycle.

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

If a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his a.s when he jumped.

If my Auntie had bollocks, she'd be my Uncle.

If wishes were fishes, we'd never go hungry.

I believe that - although some of these may be in common use - may of such
phrases are exclusively used within families etc.

Some are philosophical, some nonsensical, some jocular, some quite naughty.
Most express (regrettable) impossibilities.

I would be very grateful for you to send phrases like these if you happen to
know any.

You can either post them here, to the NG, or use my e-mail address (leave
out: NOSPAMTHANKYOU): nicof2003NOSPAMTHANKYOU@runbox.com

Thank you very much for your trouble,

Nico

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Molly Mockford - 14 Aug 2006 19:54 GMT

At 18:06:31 on Mon, 14 Aug 2006, Nico <nicof2003@runbox.com> wrote in
<69378$44e09f8a$5039d39b$7243@news.chello.nl>:

>I believe that - although some of these may be in common use - may of such
>phrases are exclusively used within families etc.

The base for all of these is "If wishes were horses, beggars would
ride". This is a very old saying, and known to the great majority of
the population (although they may not use it, in speech or in writing,
they recognise it when they come across it).

The others which you quote are comic variants on the original, and are
very probably highly localised as you suggest.

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Molly Mockford
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety - Benjamin Franklin
(My Reply-To address *is* valid, though may not remain so for ever.)

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Young Sociolinguist - 09 Sep 2006 20:36 GMT

Nico napisal(a):

> I am greatly interested in phrases like the following:
>
[quoted text clipped - 16 lines]
> I would be very grateful for you to send phrases like these if you happen to
> know any.

Here you are. There's a Polish saying which means 'If granny had a
moustache, she'd be grandpa.' The original is "Gdyby babcia miala wasy,
bylaby dziadkiem" (Polish diacritics omitted).

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Discussion Groups / British English / September 2006

If my grandmother had wheels ...